[Deleted]

N I L E
watch your tongue I'll have it cut from your head!

Name- Nile
Breed- Shire x Friesian x Belgian x Vladimir Draft x Gelderlander x Tennessee Walking Horse x Schwarzwalder Fuchs x Irish Draught x Clydesdale x Anglo Arabian
Age- Three
Gender- Stallion
Height- 18.1hh
Alliance- Dark
Health- 100%
Notes- He is an undead character & he is infected with the West Nile Virus. The virus can only be spread through transferring fluids through biting.

This was not the first time that Nile had stepped forth upon the battle grounds. The barren land swept down into a colossal pit that housed Wild Equines' skirmishes and wars. The tan and cracked earth was stained crimson in various places and a couple skeletons were littered across the territory where the defeated knights had last fallen. Hazel and emerald flecked souls shifted within their skeletal prisons underneath the young hell hound's thick, ebony locks as he surveyed the wasteland. Charcoal and ash stained clouds rolled violently across the distant horizon as blinding strikes of lightning split the skies open for seconds at a time. A muggy haze rose up from the horizon as it began to rain in the distance and the atmospheric currents began to pick up and swirl around Nile's gargantuan frame. Invisible fingers tangled and tugged at his long obsidian tendrils that draped across his nape before the gusts died down for the time being.

Dinner plate sized knives dug into the cracked earth beneath the young stallion's frame as he picked his way down into the pit upon long but thick ebony pillars. Dark chocolate stained hide was pulled taut over his young form with very little baby fat left on his skeleton. He was not extremely muscular but he was toned underneath his pelt. He still had yet to fill into his frame completely. The fledgling equine paused in a part of the battle pit where the ground flattened out and was absent of any obstacles such as rocks or trees. This way the battle would be strictly equine versus equine without the aid of any natural obstacles to either offer an advantage or disadvantage to one or the other.

Now all he had to do was wait for the challenger to arrive. The lighter bay beast better not keep the cannibal king waiting. The longer Nile's patience was stretched, the more dangerous the situation was becoming for Zephyr. Besides, it had been a few weeks since Nile had last tasted the sweet metallic taste of blood upon his tongue and felt the ill gurgle within his abdomen as his own species' flesh was struggling to be digested. Just a few bites and he would be in a state of crazed and murderous delirium. Just one taste of blood and the sleeping leviathan in his soul would awaken to destroy all in his path.



terms | 2 hits, zero dodges, no min or max word count, 4 days to respond between posts, winner gets Carnevale Letale.
word count | 405
tags | shorty with zephyr
muse | zero
music | stand up and scream album - asking alexandria
notes | complete. it's absolute shit though.

[Deleted]

ZEPHYR

Hate to twist your mind
But God ain't on your side
And old acquaintance severed
(Burn the world your last endeavor)

Name: Zephyr
Breed: Hispano Arab x Friesian
Age: Seven
Gender: Stallion
Height: 16.3 hands
Alliance: Dark
Health: 100%

It seemed that the storm that had plagued Carnevale Letale upon his challenged, had decided to follow him, as the electric like feel upon the oxygen was invigorating, as the low growl in the distance threatened the topography below. Cracks of brilliant ivory lightning streaked across the ink hued swells that covered the heavens, a deep haze casting the landscape into a fog like haze where the rainfall had already begun to sink down from the atmosphere. Oxygen whipped at the landscape, howling across the barren and parched domain. The cracked soil beneath his steel daggers, plumes of dust swirled around as the cracks were disintegrated beneath him, turning into a pile of dust formed to the same shape of his three quarter moon shaped daggers, their uneven jagged appearance from the years of wild roaming, never once seeing the neat roundness of a farrier. The small plume of dust quickly dispersed with the darkening wind, forever lost to the cool fingers. Thick whipcord was snapped between his hind limbs, the tips of his waved hair slapped violently against the underside of his carriage, as the trendles that hung from his thick napestry waved like a taunt flag, casting the left side of his finely tuned façade into ink stained shadows, as they concealed half of his handsome features. Cords strung beneath the russet tinted steed, as he strode forward, leisurely taking his time towards the battlegrounds. There was no rush upon the brutes movements, and there wouldn’t be such, regardless of the other party, he had little intention of letting a wild hair crawl up his ass and scramble to get there, that was simply a waste of energy, there was no sense in doing such when he would need it, sustained in order to prove himself the worthy opponent of the larger, yet less experienced stag.

Daggers pressed into the soil, smoothly drawing his languid movements forward with pure ease, the lightness of the Arabian in his blood, as well as the sturdy yet graceful stock of Andalusian made his movements seem effortless, like he was gliding upon the topography instead of simply trotting. His slender, yet toned limbs seemed to eat the ground lightly, as he let his muscle warm them, bringing them to the best and ready they could be, completely relaxed and fluid, he made sure that every conscious joint was in a subtle motion, as he slowed his movements, the center of the battleground quickly approaching. As his motion’s slowed, it was almost like he commanded the wind around him as well, as the oxygen settled around him, though the normally aqua tinted heavens were beginning to be formed by that of ink stained clouds, the threat of rain seemed apparent, though the brute slightly hoped that it would hold off till after the battle. However he was grateful for the relief it brought from the massive amarillo sphere in the sky. Here, upon the cracked earth, it had seemed like the sphere had been closer, more over bearing, for even in the months of fall, it seemed like the heat was still pungent, leaving only the faintest traces of sweat upon the hellions well-crafted frame. There was obvious signs that his opponent had reached the battleground before him, a little detail that had not surprised him, one because he had taken his time upon reaching the battlegrounds, and two because he had stopped by Lachen Brek, making sure to see his brother before leaving, as Osada had not liked the idea of him running off already so soon after being home, hopefully it would all be worth it.

Harks danced upon the steeds’ cranial piece, as he shifted himself forward, his pools following the massive spots that had been broken apart, their rounded indents showing the weight of the opposed making his way forward, the thick muscles upon his nape curled as the base of his jaw line brushed back against the soft flesh that encased his jugular, the characteristic arch that was given from his Spanish infused bloodline. Slightly feathered flints strode forward, as the musky, putrid scent of the behemoth blasted his nasal passages first, before his onyx stoned visionaries pelted themselves upon the equal toned hide of the gangly colt. The veteran smoothly allowed his frame to slip into the small flattened area, his gaze not bother to look upon the colt until he came to stand opposite of the stag, it was only when he had relaxed himself physically, did he allow his gaze to fall upon the steed before him. Soulless pools fluttered beneath the inky shadow casted upon the planes of his façade, the waved locks masking it for the most part, as he did not bother to remove them, his gaze was clear enough of the beast before him, he had no need to unmask them. Velvetines peeled apart, as the salmon infused snake peeled itself away from the roof of his chasm, as the voice back deep within his bosom began to vibrate, contorting his mocking lyrics into the still atmosphere before him. ”Well, shall we begin?” There was a slight taunt upon his tone, as the lyrics fell like black veiled honey, a slick serpent releasing itself from between his parted chasms.

He did not bother to wait for a response, he was in no mood to hear some childish response from the much younger steed, regardless of his height, it had little imposed upon the mahogany stallions thought process. He was not afraid of the colt because he was taller and bulkier, the generic stereo – type of an equine being bigger and automatically being stronger and the supposed winner was a putrid excuse for a one track mind, and it was simply revolting to imagine there could be someone with such a small mind frame, however that was a topic for a later discussion. The lucid tranquility seemed to settle upon the thick built behemoth, though he let his mind stay sharp and clear, his gaze linking across the steeds frame finding his weakest points. He was assuming, that coming from straight on would be a near death sentence, given the size of the colt, regardless to his age, verses his own size, should the behemoth have a chance to press his weight down fully, it would all but kill the stag. No he needed to be practical, and practical he would be. This entire process took only a matter of a few seconds, before cords rippled within his shoulder blades suddenly; collecting his joints as his daggers shot his frame forward, propelling him with lightning speed of an agile horse. He allowed his frame to aim straight for the brute, though he did not make it clear upon his intentions, he kept his gaze locked dead upon the façade of the ebony toned beast, the mass of locks snapping away from his frame giving him completely clear vision. Coming within a stride of the brute, he skid to the left, being his opponents’ right, lunging without breaking his stride; as his front limbs pinned into the dirt beside the beast, his back daggers kicked outward, aiming two heavy blows straight for the brutes fragile rib cage and instead of aiming high upon the brutes shoulder blade, he aimed low, looking to give him a hard kick into the back of his elbow, where his shoulder and limb tied together, and where his barrel rolled into his shoulder blade. Though he was unaware of what the outcome of his attack was, he collected his haunches, drawing his hind limbs back down to the cracked soil, allowing for a couple of strides to separate himself and the brute. Cords collected as joints locked beneath the beast, skidding himself to a jarring stop, before his muzzle whipped around, causing his entire frame to follow suit. Daggers plastered themselves down with a heavy stomp, locking his limbs straight as the cords held taunt, expecting, waiting for the counter or the next, which ever it should be. Soulless pools never left the jagged outline of the ebon tinted beast, as the first crack of thunder enclosed the open terrain, the lands growing steadily darker as the ink stained clouds began to enclose the heavens above. Dial was held within an eased position, never faltering, as he waited patiently for the stags move.


STATUS: complete
WORD COUNT: 1,395
MUSE: Decent I suppose
MUSIC: Nightmare - Avenged Sevenfold
LYRICS: Nightmare - Avenged Sevenfold
TAGGED: Vin/Nile
NOTES: None
ATTACKS: 1 left.

first - He charged straight at Nile, at the last minute he broke to the left (being Nile's right) and kicked with his back legs, aiming for the lower part of his rib cage about half way down and then at the elbow joint behind his front limb.

DAMAGE: None yet.

[Deleted]

N I L E
watch your tongue I'll have it cut from your head!

Name- Nile
Breed- Shire x Friesian x Belgian x Vladimir Draft x Gelderlander x Tennessee Walking Horse x Schwarzwalder Fuchs x Irish Draught x Clydesdale x Anglo Arabian
Age- Three
Gender- Stallion
Height- 18.1hh
Alliance- Dark
Health- 80%
Notes- He is an undead character & he is infected with the West Nile Virus. The virus can only be spread through transferring fluids through biting.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick.

The challenger was treading lightly upon fragile territory now as Nile continued to wait. The young, undead king had very little patience. Very little patience. If he slit someone's throat and they did not bleed out quickly enough, he would slit it again and again. Some think of the saying "Only fools rush in" but was he such a fool if he was prepared before charging into this event? Was he such a fool if he had already formed his own strategies about this skirmish? Was Nile such an ignorant fool for being ready to defend his kingdom? He thought not. If this bastard wanted the land that Carnevale Letale rested upon so terribly that he was willing to challenge for it, would he not already be here and ready to make his best attempt against the young king? But yet, even as the king's amber-hazel spheres swept across the battle grounds for the seventh time since he arrived, the mahogany challenger was not in his sights! The horizon was empty and completely barren of any movement. The fact that his pools, yet again, failed to find any hint of his opponent pulled a rumbling snarl out from the depths of his lungs. Nares flared to quickly draw in oxygen to replace what he lost in his growl but it did not do anything to soothe his unsettling temper.

All this meant for Zephyr was that he best be ready to take up the true weight of his decision as soon as he stepped foot upon the battle field. Nile was not going to waste his breath to speak to the beast. He had absolutely nothing to tell his opponent. What was there to say beyond equine meeting equine in a vicious physical clash for the rights to a land? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Anyone with a brain within the confines of their skull knew that challenging Carnevale Letale in any shape or form was not a good idea. If they were bright enough to understand that fact, then they should be smart enough to know that once they trespassed the young king or the elder queen, their names were kept in a collection of targets and future victims. This individual, Zephyr, was no different. He had already rendered himself to such a level requiring little to no respect and to a life of torture. Zephyr didn't have to reside in Carnevale's cells to be tortured. No, they had much more personal means and methods to do such a thing. But regardless if Zephyr understood that or not, Nile had to be here to defend everything his parents had created and had passed on to him. If he wanted a future, he had to win. If he wanted to uphold his parents' dignity and pride, he had to win. Regardless of the fact his father lived in the Underworld as the Lord of Violence and his mother was the elder queen, he had to win for the sake of Carnevale's reputation. The weight of this battle was beginning to bear down on him and it made him wish for his opponent to show up that much sooner. This realization didn't help his mood any either.

Fortunately, he didn't have to wait long now. Harks snapped forward and hazel optics narrowed upon a disturbance along the horizon. Ah, Zephyr had finally decided to appear. Optics scrutinized every single inch of the beast as he neared the young king. The logical statistics of this battle were beginning to flash through Nile's think box as he observed his opponent come closer with every stride taken. Short versus tall, lithe versus bulky -- however Nile really wasn't quite that bulky yet, veteran versus a young soldier. The odds were not necessarily in Nile's favor at this point but he would never let that stop him. It would only alter his strategies and change the way he analyzed his opponent's moves. Apprehension crashed down upon the young king as Zephyr finally stopped opposite of where Nile stood. Chiseled and ivory marked crown lifted high above his challenger as hazel spheres narrowed once more. "Well, shall we begin?" The taunting tone was not lost on the prince but Nile kept his chasms closed. His reply would soon be voiced through his body when he executed his first attack against Zephyr.

Thunder snarled throughout the skies overhead as his opponent began to charge for him head on. Was he fucking stupid? If he wanted an immediate death sentence, Nile would let him have it. As Zephyr charged for him and came within barely two strides of crashing into the larger equine, Nile reared to his full height upon his hind limbs and violently struck out with his frontal knives as he already began twisting around for his second attack. As he catapulted his front end into the air, he was suddenly struck in the under belly. An audible crack was heard as one of Zephyr's kicks struck one of the fragile, 'false' ribs that made up his central frame. The ability to breathe was severed for a moment as Zephyr's kick knocked the breath right out of his lungs. When he had reared, he had missed the kick aimed for his elbow joint but instead, he had opened up his under belly to a more severe blow. Lungs heaved as they struggled to draw in copious amounts of oxygen to replace what had just been forced back out into the atmosphere and the intensifying pain was nearly blinding which each breath he struggled to take.

All of that was forced aside when Zephyr ducked to Nile's right just as the crown holder was already turning in that direction. Nile's fore daggers were slamming toward the earth with his full entire weight behind them as he pivoted as he had not expected his opponent to duck to the right. If he missed Zephyr's top line and spinal column completely, good for his opponent because if he did not miss, injuries were almost certain to be found. Nile never expected to find Zephyr right where he had been at that particular time as he was coming back down toward the earth. But regardless if Nile had made contact or not, he wasn't going to waste a second to survey the damage. Massive daggers struck the dried, cracked earth as eletricity split the sky in multiple, ivory prongs of light. Thunder rolled and roared as the storm was nearly upon the valley that housed Wild Equines' official brawls. Now that Nile was fully planted upon the ground, he forced himself to spin around and charge after his opponent that now stood a few feet away.

Each breath he took felt like he was swallowing razor blades and they were in a grinder in his lungs but he had to keep fighting. Adrenaline rushed and for a split second in time, he was able to block out the pain as he adapted Zephyr's previous tactic however he wasn't going to duck away at the last second. Chasms parted to reveal yellow and crimson stained enamels as Nile lunged his entire form toward Zephyr from the side. Hooves thrashed and struck out as he tried to viciously dig his knives into any part of his opponent's form that he could as his nape coiled to release an onslaught of savage bites in rapid succession regardless if he actually managed to clench any meat between them.

It didn't matter what part of Zephyr he so viciously attacked, it was just the hope that he did at least to do some sort of damage to his older opponent. He didn't want Zephyr to walk away easily. He wanted him to hurt just as much, if not more, than he would. With his first and second attack completed, his part was now through. Nile gasped for breath as the pain along his ribs sharpened with each continuing breath thereafter. He was certain now that he had inflicted more damage to himself with his second attack. Once his knives reached the ground again, he braced himself for Zephyr's next assault.



terms | 2 hits, zero dodges, no min or max word count, 4 days to respond between posts, winner gets Carnevale Letale.
word count | 1,386
tags | shorty with zephyr
muse | none
music | hail to the king - avenged sevenfold
notes | complete. i will post the evaluation of his injuries after you post.
attacks |
1. he reared to meet what he thought would be zephyr's head on attack and struck out with his front hooves at zephyr's head or neck. he began to turn away to come down from his attack and was going in the same direction that zephyr ducked into and potentially came down upon zephyr's top line / spinal column.

2. he charged zephyr from the side and struck out with his front hooves to maintain his balance and in hopes of hitting zephyr while he tried to bite zephyr several times.

damage sustained | two false ribs are broken and some internal bleeding.

[Deleted]

ZEPHYR

Flesh is burning
You can smell it in the air
Cause men like you have
Such an easy soul to steal

Name: Zephyr
Breed: Hispano Arab x Friesian
Age: Seven
Gender: Stallion
Height: 16.3 hands
Alliance: Dark
Health: 75%

Given the chance, the behemoth allowed his cranial piece to peel back through exactly what had just happened. Upon his russet frame entering the domain, it seemed his onyx challenged fiend was not quite impressed, though Zephyr cared little for his piteous thoughts upon himself. Should this young mongrel believe Zephyr to be something of a pest, he would learn quickly that Zephyr was serious upon his challenge. He was tired of living within the shadows that his family had presented him; it was his time to pull into his own name, his own chance. He supposed that after seven years of life, he was entitled to make himself a life he could enjoy. Just because he had set his first gaze upon Carnevale Latale, was nothing personal, just the first land to catch his fancy. Upon entering the chosen battle grounds, it seemed that his taunt had fallen upon deaf ears, as the opposed mutt gaze little expression, as he merely craned his massive cerebellum higher into the oxygen. A quick thought retreated through the cerebellum of the mahogany steed, as his raven toned voids locked upon the primal design of Niles gargantuan façade, did he feel superior because he could put his cranial so high upon the atmosphere? It would seem that way from the vantage point that Zephyr had stood, as it seemed he did it upon seeing Zephyr both in the lands of Carnevale Letale and now here. Should this have been a normal encounter, one that he had met the stud under different circumstances, than he probably would have inquired upon such a notion; however he had little time to heed the mysterious interests that lay crooked within the massive bastards frame. He had little concern for the pleasures of the mongrel before him, and thus would not entertain his thoughts upon such. He was more concerned with completing his mission, the very same that had brought him with the decision to bring him to these lands, to pit himself against the thicker stage. Granted he was obviously young, his frame not filled out like it would with time, though there was no denying the distinct difference that lay there already. Though Zephyr was a seasoned vet, toned and battle ready, the years of testosterone filled out his frame to make him thicker, as well with the help of the Friesian blood that claimed half of his hide, there was a mistakable difference between the pair. The muscle encased within the handsome think box of the stag did not dwell upon these facts for more than a fraction of a second, the young brute’s size did not daunt him, and nor would he allow it too.

Next was his attack, as he had charged straight for the massive behemoth, his charge was met by a massive rare, as the feathered daggers thrashed madly towards his cranial piece. He was still a strides reach out when he ducked his cranial, allowing the daggers not to make their target upon his dial, though as he twisted, he realized too late, that Nile had turned in the same direction. Though there was a gratifying sound of a cracking bone, as well as the gratifying feeling that his daggers made in impact upon the latent flesh of the stags barrel, he tried to quickly remove his haunches, though the gravitational pull upon the massive brute was far greater than his reaction time. As he collected his hind quarter beneath him, he felt the mass of the stag crash down upon him, his daggers slicing down the sides of his haunches, as the thick mass of his bosom struck down upon the steeds haunches, he felt his hocks buckle beneath him, as his daggers skid out from underneath his frame, from the sudden impact of the massive brutes weight upon him. There was a sudden fire that ripped through the studs frame, as he strained, dragging his frame out from beneath the stag, scrambling a few strides away, settling himself lightly as he allowed his mind a moment to process what had exactly happen. The sickly sweet scent of crimson blood was stagnant upon the oxygen, the salty brine was pooling down the sides of his haunches, were the massive steeds daggers had collided upon the sides of his haunches. There was a burning upon his cannon bones, and his haunches didn’t seem to want to move at his command, though they when they did he found himself forcibly clenching his jawline, grinding the massive incisors within his chasm grind from the force of the effort, though he was given little time to dwell upon these facts. The thundering of the gargantuan fluttered through the beasts cranial, as a fork of jagged lightning cracked above the now darkening atmosphere, lighting up the charge from the massive steed. Harks plastered themselves against the russet beast cranial piece, becoming lost in the mass of tangled onyx locks that swept around the massive steeds napestry, the oxygen had begun to whip up once more, masking parts of his façade within the deep, ink stained shadows once more.

The thundering beast came at him broadside, as he extended his massive frame outwards, while his gapping mouth came forth in a jagged line, plastered against the bruise like atmosphere above. Strings coiled beneath the baritones frame, as he quickly revaluated. Quickly he swung his frame around to face the beast head on, forcing the pain of his hind limbs from the base of his cranial piece; he forced himself to lung coming alongside the backside of the mahogany stained steed. As they came within feet of colliding, the russet behemoth dodged to the right, being Niles left side now, as he missed a crushing blow from the massive steeds daggers, he felt the flesh upon his nape tearing, as the ivory enamels sliced through the flesh. A bugle of fury bellowed from the steeds frame as he twisted his cranial piece around, his own jowls gaping massively as he aimed to take a hunk of flesh off the baritones façade, before planting his back daggers, launching his bosom from the topography, his front limbs sliced through the toxic oxygen wildly, as his jaws aimed to grab any sort of flesh upon the baritones face or neck and hold it, he hoped his daggers would make their mark somewhere on either the shoulder blades or barrel and back of the beasts frame. Fury propelled the beast, as he forced all his strength down into the movement, before breaking off, forcing himself to shift away from the gargantuan, his frame hobbling slightly as the searing pain rippled once more from his fetlocks up through his hocks, the metallic crimson life source that was still oozing from his haunches slowly, seemed to start crusting where it met his hide and the open oxygen. There was a large gash down the length of his nape, from just behind his jawline, down to nearly where his shoulder and nape tied together at the point. It burned furiously, as well as the blood that oozed from such created a more pungent scent then before, though his onyx pools landed once more upon the massive steed, they were ever void of emotion, though the rage still pumped through his veins like fire, burning through him with a massive fury. His gaze settled upon his opponent, as the fat droplets began to release from the purple hued atmosphere, quickly soaking everything below. It was done.

STATUS: complete
WORD COUNT: 1,252
MUSE: died at the end from RL drama
MUSIC: Nightmare - Avenged Sevenfold
LYRICS: Nightmare - Avenged Sevenfold
TAGGED: Vin/Nile
NOTES: none
ATTACKS: 0 left

1st. He charged straight at Nile, at the last minute he broke to the left (being Nile's right) and kicked with his back legs, aiming for the lower part of his rib cage about half way down and then at the elbow joint behind his front limb.

2nd: He spun to face Nile and charged back, ducking to the right (now Niles left. When  Nile caught his neck he tried to dig his teeth into Niles face or neck and reared to kick his front legs hard at Niles shoulder/withers/ or barrel.

DAMAGE:

first: Niles first attack while Zephyr was trying to collect himself from kicking Nile, Nile's frame crashed down on his hind quarters, his hooves slit open both sides of his haunches, as well as his chest came down on Zephyrs rear, causing his fetlocks to sprain severely, and pulled the muscles in his cannon bones.

second: Niles teeth ripped a large gapping mass from his neck where it connects to his cheek down a jagged line to the tip of his throat and shoulder blade, as well as infecting him with West Nile in the process. Will leave a severe scar.

Can be judged as soon as Vin posts about the injuries Nile sustained.

[Deleted]

Name- Nile
Breed- Shire x Friesian x Belgian x Vladimir Draft x Gelderlander x Tennessee Walking Horse x Schwarzwalder Fuchs x Irish Draught x Clydesdale x Anglo Arabian
Age- Three
Gender- Stallion
Height- 18.1hh
Alliance- Dark
Health- 75%
Notes- He is an undead character & he is infected with the West Nile Virus. The virus can only be spread through transferring fluids through biting.

Nile's ooc collective evaluation of damage sustained:

- two false ribs are broken and some internal bleeding.
- has a bite wound on his skull, between his ears and another just behind his ears.
- has 2-3 deep hoof gouges to his shoulder and the flesh around his withers is shredded off the top of the bone.

[aliyaah]

I'm gonna tally this one.

Waiting on judge collection: Yes
Judge 1 Collection: Done
Judge 2 Collection: Done
Judge 3 Collection: Waiting
Tally-ing Scores: No

[aliyaah]

VIN WITH NILE

Roleplayer & Character: Vin with Nile
Quality of Quantity: 14.5
Comments:

• I gave you a 4.5 because I was very, very impressed by your second post. It was a big surprise after the disappointment of the first one. You may want to try to be a bit more consistent with the size of your posts, especially when it comes to battle threads.

No God Modeling or Power Playing: 15
Comments:
Realism of Attack: 14.5
Comments:

• Attacks where original and using the head to knock upon the other was cool as well, but I wasn't as impressed as Jen's attacks.

Attack Compared to Opponent: 11.5
Comments:

• He could have attack a couple of other places besides the typical places that horses attack.
• I liked your attacks with Nile, but they felt much more rushed and not as thought out as the ones Zephyr made. Maybe next time have him think a tad more before he makes attacks? Like in your comments you said that he struck out in hopes to keep his balance but I didn’t see that in your post.

Completion of the Form: 15
Comments:
Spelling and Grammar: 14.5
Comments:

• Some spots needed one of these , as I found myself out of breath while reading some lines.

TOTAL: 85.5

SHORTY WITH ZEPHYR

Roleplayer & Character: Shorty with Zephyr
Quality of Quantity: 15
Comments:

• Both of your posts are beautiful! Good job keeping them close to each other word count and quality wise.
• I seen some words that are not used on average. It seem's that you put a lot of work into these post.

No God Modeling or Power Playing: 15
Comments:
Realism of Attack: 14
Comments:

• Went well with attacking while Nile had attacked. Kinda like a double edged sword, something I don't see often.
• I thought your attacks were quite realistic, but the second attack confused me as it all seemed quite cluttered together. But otherwise, a good job!

Attack Compared to Opponent: 15
Comments:

• I just feel like Zephyr thought out his attacks much more than his opponent and seemed to play along with the other’s movements.
• I like the whole attacking while being attacked move. It was cool and I don't see it to often

Completion of the Form: 15
Comments:
Spelling and Grammar: 14.5
Comments:

• Minor spelling mistakes

TOTAL: 88.5

CONGRATS TO SHORTY WITH ZEPHYR