[Deleted]

Name- Jaylin
Breed- American Paint
Age- 4
Gender- Mare
Height- 16hh
Alliance- Neutral
Health- Physical; 100% | Mental; 85% (dissociative identity disorder)
Terms- 7 days to reply, two hits, one dodge, winner gets Jaylin

The day itself was picturesque; the sun beamed down and bathed the lands in its warmth as it attempted to ward off the negativity that roamed within the confines of her delicately structured skull and the atmosphere held a welcoming warmth that consumed her - nature was wishing her luck for the next few hours. Obsidian fell across her facade acting as a veil, masking the anxiety that burned through the damsel's pale blue spheres. She was afraid, she was tense and by god, she was confused. She hadn't stuck her nose in anywhere it shouldn't of been; but somehow she had attracted the unwanted attention of some elite stallion who wanted to force his presence on her. The thought alone was enough to send the mare into a mind-numbing session of worrying the flesh the lined her maw, unaware that she had drawn blood and the metallic sensation was oozing down her larynx. Delicate, onyx dipped hooves met with hard, cracked down that should lead her to her destination, it was well-worn - an obvious indication that many others had walked the same path that she was set out to. Jaylin could so easily envision other equines treading this exact path, the difference is that each one would be excited for their upcoming blood bath, the adrenalin would be coursing their veins and fueling their excitement. Jaylin however, was on the opposite side of the spectrum; she didn't crave the spill of blood and the taste of flesh in her mouth - but she had to do this, she was forced to lay out this challenge. Her freedom was at stake. She would never willingly want to risk her health by confronting a problem in such a physical manner, but this stallion had stolen the rights to her freedom, and Jaylin was not going to go down without a fight.

An exhalation fell from her laburnums, weighed down by all the worries in her world. Copper Cove was now in the hands of Oakley, her Beta matron who more or less didn't like other women. It was difficult to leave her abode with such an unknown figure, but Jaylin feared if she didn't respond to the steal - this Helkaer person would come after her. His name was Contagious, and his identity was unknown - probably just some juvenile who wished to up his credibility with his cult of egoistic individuals. Gradually, her slender pillars crossed the borders of her destination after a hesitation on her behalf; it was blatantly apparent that Jaylin wanted to leave here and not participate in such barbarous activities, but she knew, when push came to shove, she would carry out her duties and fight to the nail. As she arrived on scene, the damsel allowed her movements to reached a progressive cease, silence overtook her and she remained immobile. Any onlooker should be capable of identifying the lady as a serene sight - but little did they know that her day was about to be tainted with unspeakable actions - she was about to partake in activities that she never dreamed of happening. Inwardly, Jaylin could sense a presence that could only be Lina; her other half, literally. You have no chance of winning this. The voice sneered, teasing the already anxious mare with the thought of failure. Just let me fight for you, we both know I have better odds at victory. The thought was tempting, but quickly disregarded; Jaylin had something to prove here - to herself and her home. Copper Cove had only fallen into her hands recently, and the previous occupants there knew very little about her - so what better to establish the foundations of a relationship with them by proving herself worthy of the position? The smallest of smiles graced her orifices at the thought of conquest, boosting her self-esteem by a marginal amount; hopefully enough to last the oncoming combat.

word count | 654
character | jaylin
notes | <3 good luck
attacks | 1 2
dodges | 1
injuries | 
tagged | @dingdong

"Speech"
Lina's thoughts in Jaylin's mind

[Deleted]

Toxic/Contagious.!

Name- Toxic/Contagious
Breed- Quarab
Age- 5 yrs
Gender- Stallion
Height- 16.3
Alliance- Dark/Unallianced
Health- 100%

Being a Helkaer was an art of thievery and something Toxic took advantage of any chance he got to cause havoc. He ruined many lives without much thought, not giving a fuck if he took someone's mate, to taking a child. But, Toxic would never harm a child. It was a lowly thing to do in his opinion. But, overall, Toxic was not very nice. He was often described as a monster. Which Toxic really couldn't complain about, he wasn't a nice guy, nor did he play fair. As a Helkaer, it wasn't expected of him to be very nice. If nice at all, after all, there was many versions of nice. There was the protective father nice, Toxic was perhaps the only Helkaer stallion that was incapable of killing a child, even if it was the offspring of a light mare. He was a very big believer that a child's personality did not depend on its parent. But, other than that, Toxic was not someone anyone really wanted to meet. They had to be dark and evil minded like him to even hope of being in his league. Krieg Partei was pretty good at scaring away any dumbasses, who thought it would be fun to trespass, or even challenge him. The ghosts under his command did a very good job of scaring them away, their creepy laughter could be heard from miles away.

He had been up to his devious ways recently, and stole a neutral lead mare named Jaylin. Sassy little minx, at least he hoped so. They were always a lot of fun to mess with, and quite frankly, he needed to liven up his life a little. Or was the minx innocent and naive? He would like to think of a herd leader as strong and stubborn, but he could be wrong. Either way, it was a good way of stirring up some drama, especially if he won this battle. He wasn't quite sure what he wanted with her, he had just stole her for the fun of it, knowing that it would lead up to a battle. And, he needed a good dose of fun. Battle was in his opinion, considerably fun, it got his adrenaline pumping. Many were revolted by the idea of battle, avoiding it if they could. Toxic willingly participated in it, as did most of the Helkaers. He didn't know much about Jaylin, he was hoping she wasn't battle experienced. Much as he loved battle, he also wanted a good chance of winning this battle. He wanted to keep the little minx for two weeks, which in that period of time he could do whatever he wanted with her. Toxic had a pretty good idea what he wanted, it was what every male wanted.

He flared his nostrils, taking in the scent of his opponent, along with some dirt. He snorted, ridding himself of the dirt irritating his nostrils. His stomach inflated and deflated in a pattern as he breathed. He allowed himself to move at a trot, knowing that his energy wouldn't deflate that fast. The feminine form of his opponent finally came into view, a pretty bay overo minx. He let himself take her in, oxygen quickly moving to his groin area. He controlled himself though, knowing that being sexually aroused during battle was perhaps not the greatest idea. Well, he controlled it much as he could. He still had images of mounting her, and doing sweet heavenly things. Her scent was sweet too, which was enough to drive any stallion mad. He allowed himself to get closer to her, stopping ten feet away from her. "Nice ass, sweet cheeks." A cocky smirk appeared on his face, quickly disappearing into a hardened line. The mare did not have the same amount of scars he did, which led Toxic to believe she didn't have any experience. Would she be able to hold her own against a much more experienced warrior? He didn't really care, he was determined to own her ass.

He gathered his momentum before charging at her with full speed, prepared to make his first attack. His Quarter horse blood working quite well, coming to a stop in front of her. His front feet flew into the air, kicking out at her shoulders, or at least attempting to. If he managed to make contact of any kind, it would hopefully cause some painful bruising, or even a large gash. Soon as his feet hit the ground, Toxic with all the energy he had left, lunged for her throat. He wasn't particularly aiming for the artery, he had no wishes of killing her, and it was considerably hard with him being taller. He just wanted to take out a considerable amount of flesh, which would no doubt leave a lot of pain, he just hoped he had succeeded in doing so. His veins was pumping with too much adrenaline for him to focus and notice the wounds he caused, or the wounds inflicted on him.

Words: 848
Muse: Good
Tagged: @halo with Jaylin
Character: Toxic
Attack One: He struck out with his front hooves, hoping to make contact with her shoulders.
Attack Two: He lunged for her throat hoping to take a chunk

[Deleted]

Name- Jaylin
Breed- American Paint Horse
Age- 4
Gender- Mare
Height- 16hh
Alliance- Neutral
Health- Physical; 75% (see below for details) | Mental; 85% (dissociative identity disorder)
Terms- 7 days to reply, two hits, one dodge, winner gets Jaylin

Anxiety ate at the inside of the damsel; consuming her mind as it threw visions of failure in her face. Images of being raped and being forced into a cell taunted her cognizance, and instead of adding alcohol to the flames to aggravate her further, it had the opposite effect and imposed even more fear into her systems. A cold air washed over her, prompting goosebumps to form all over and sending chills running down the length of her spine - it wasn't the temperature that caused these reactions, but the rigidity in the atmosphere surrounding her. She was truly skeptical of her ability to end the day with her freedom in tact, but was equally determined to prove herself to the world - she wasn't going to be weak and vulnerable. Inhalations were deep and paced, her worries being expelled with each exhale as the damsel found herself lost in thought. The constant flow of sun eventually had it's impact on the two-toned vixen, dampening her coat with a thin layer of perspiration that would only act as a factor of agony when the physical exertion begun. Traveling here, the atmosphere had been in her favor - but entering the Battlefields brought no mercy to anyone, no matter how innocent they were. The welcoming vibe had long dissipated and the dry wind worsened the conditions even further, carrying no moistness to inhale and temporarily mend her problems. The back half of her gullet throbbed in a dry agony, the mare forced herself to swallow mouthfuls of her own bodily fluids in unproductive attempts to ease her discomfort but her saliva was unable to satisfy her needs.

Nice ass, sweet cheeks. The words, clearly directed at her, fell deaf 'pon her towers as the muscles in the bruja's anatomy tightened. What was supposedly a compliment in his mind simply degraded Jaylin to a level that she had never wanted to catch sight of. In his mind, she was an object, a prize to obtain - probably the furthest thing from a human being. He had ceased movement a good few feet away from her, and this was the first time light blue spheres had ever come into contact with the brute who dubbed himself Contagious. Disgusting was an understatement, he was a plain, old obsidian paint with eyes slightly darker than her own - the air that followed him reeked and those factors were enough to send the damsel shying away two paces back - wanting as much space between them as possible. His words were left unanswered, a small act of defiance on Jaylin's part as she planned on resisting him any opportunity she had. The distance was not long-lasted as the rapid acceleration of the bulkier equine was propelled forward, the masculine headed in her direct path; making distance quickly, Jaylin was faced with little time to maneuver away from him and thus was confronted with his full-frontal assault. Frozen in fear, Jaylin watched the brute stop before her, almost instantaneously raising the front half of his body, allowing room for his knives to swing out at her, hitting the supple flesh of her shoulder, cutting into the skin and prompting a steady flow of blood to drip from her inside. 

Sent stumbling backwards from the force of the first attack, the vixen was gifted with enough air space to think her tactics through briefly as the hessian rained down on her with more of his abuse - his enamels aimed at her larynx as he threw himself forward. The proximity between the two was hard to suffer through, he stunk of sweat and blood - two things that the minx despised. Three out of four appendages seemed to be in use for the minx to utilize, the fourth seemingly out of order for now. Throwing herself sideways, Jaylin felt the teeth of the abuser graze against her flesh, but not enough to cause serious harm - a moment of triumph was spared at her expense before the lass realized it was her time to attack. Wasting no time, the damsel took advantage of the close proximity between the two and her positioning of half facing him to spin herself in his direction, her ivories bared in a way she would of not thought of as possible for her. Throwing her full body weight behind the lunge, Jaylin felt herself magnetized towards his body, her attack directed in the path of his poll in hope of making contact. Onyx fibers fell in front of her facade, the sweat already formed acted like a glue and stuck the mare's stray forelock against the contours of her delicate skull. Like a snake, Jaylin felt herself pull backwards, following the assault with a 180 degree rotation to buck out at his underbelly - with the intentions of making contact with his rib cages and wanting to fracture them, or at least bruise them badly. A small protest of pain originated from her aching shoulder at the pressure she was placing on the bruised shoulder, forcing the minx to release the duties of the bone and limp away - her breaths quick and shallow as she fought to gain control over her respiratory system; hopefully it would be over now. 

word count | 876
character | jaylin
notes | <3 good luck
attacks | 1 2
1 | she tried to bite out at his poll
2 | she bucked out at his ribs/underbelly
dodges | 1
1 | the first attack sent her backwards a few paces, allowing her time (and room) to move sideways and avoid his second attack
injuries | 
1 | badly bruised shoulder
2 | wound from his hooves, steady flow of blood
tagged | @dingdong

"Speech"
Lina's thoughts in Jaylin's mind

[Deleted]

Name- Toxic/Contagious
Breed- Quarab
Age- 5 yrs
Gender- Stallion
Height- 16.3
Alliance- Dark/Unallianced
Health- 75% (See below)

Its not really required for me to make another post I dont think, So I will just post Toxic's injuries.

Injuries: Jaylin managed to grab ahold of his poll, in result a large nasty bite wound, that could get infected.
Injury 2: Jaylin made contact, he has one cracked rib and several bruised ribs.
Dodges: 0
Attacks: striked out at her shoulders, tried to take a chunk out of her throat.

[Deleted]

Name- Toxic/Contagious
Breed- Quarab
Age- 5 yrs
Gender- Stallion
Height- 16.3
Alliance- Dark/Unallianced
Health- 75% (See below)

Its not really required for me to make another post I dont think, So I will just post Toxic's injuries.

Injuries: Jaylin managed to grab ahold of his poll, in result a large nasty bite wound, that could get infected.
Injury 2: Jaylin made contact, he has one cracked rib and several bruised ribs.
Dodges: 0
Attacks: striked out at her shoulders, tried to take a chunk out of her throat.

[Deleted]

I will tally.

Waiting on judge collection: yes
Judge 1 Collection: found - results in
Judge 2 Collection: found - results in
Judge 3 Collection: found - results in
Tally-ing Scores: yes | results will be up tonight!

[Deleted]

Roleplayer & Character: @halo w/jaylin
Quality over Quantity: 15
Comments: Enjoyed reading Jaylin's thoughts, good description throughout.
Each post had good lengths and enough quality to back it up.
I never grew bored with your posts and everything seemed relevant to the battle without rambling unnecessarily. For the word count, the quality was very good.

No God Modeling or Power Playing: 15
Comments: Nothing was found or brought up.

Realism of Attack: 14.5
Comments: Realistic enough, would have liked more detail.
I could see these attacks easily played out in the wild.
For her conformation and minor size difference to Toxic, her attacks were very realistic and thought out.

Attack Compared to Opponent: 14.5
Comments: Strong, although both seemed matched.
It seemed like Jaylin was making a lot more effort in her attacks, especially when she was retaliating.
I felt like her attacks were equal to Toxic's, not the same but the amount of potential damage was the same and very well balanced.

Completion of the Form: 15
Comments: Forms will filled out and nothing was missed.

Spelling and Grammar: 13
Comments: A few little errors and mistakes.
There were at most four run on sentences but other than that, the spelling and grammar were quite excellent.

TOTAL SCORE: 87

---

Roleplayer & Character: @dingdong w/ toxic
Quality over Quantity: 12.5
Comments: Felt a better final post could have been delivered, maybe him leaving the battle ground?
First post had good length and an equal amount of quantity to it but I really would have liked to see a second post.
Granted there had only been one post to base my scoring off of, which may have hurt your score a bit sincere there wasn't a chance for you to make up any lost points, I didn't really feel like your post needed to be as long as it was with the information that was in it. Making your posts a bit more concise and to the point may be best.

No God Modeling or Power Playing: 15
Comments: None where found.

Realism of Attack: 14.5
Comments: The two mixed attacks seemed to happen in one motion, most horses would attack then move.
I could see these attacks happening in the wild.


Attack Compared to Opponent: 13.5
Comments: A little less thought out and seemed rushed.
Strong attacks but I felt like Jaylin's were stronger and with more effort put into them. The attacks seemed a bit rushed.
Both attacks were balanced in comparison to Jaylin's and fit the level of intensity shown through his opponent's attacks.

Completion of the Form: 14.5
Comments: Could have been filled out a little bit better for the physical health section and I believe that Helkaers are technically their own alliance.

Spelling and Grammar: 12.5
Comments: Few grammatical mistakes, words used in wrong context, e.g His veins was pumping with too much adrenaline for him to focus and notice the wounds he caused, or the wounds inflicted on him....was should be were.
Numerous run on sentences. Read each line out loud and if you run out of breath before the sentence is over, it needs to be broken up or find another way to build the sentence structure so that it is less work to read. I'm not saying make simpler sentences but your readers shouldn't be struggling either. The coherency of your post was poor. Some of it just simply did not make any sense. My suggestion for that is try reading your posts out loud and if it doesn't sound right, it probably is not. Prepositions don't belong at the end of sentences in intermediate to professional grade writing and WE is an intermediate to advanced rpg. Be careful of changing tenses throughout your posts, it makes it confusing and hard to follow.

TOTAL SCORE: 82.5

CONGRATS TO HALO W/ JAYLIN!