Post by Potatosaurus Rex on Jan 24, 2020 1:45:43 GMT -7
So... I HATE doing this but...
I've already talked to icy.
I'm really REALLY not in a good place. Mentally. I'm still sick physically (been sick the whole of 2020 so far)
But now my mental health is declining. It's difficult to talk about cuz idk I don't wanna burden anyone. I tried commit suicide last week. And whilst I havent TRIED since... the thoughts are still there. I'm fighting it as best I can but idk.
I havent turned on my ps4, my xbox, my computer... my switch... nothing right now is getting looked at... Occasionally I'll watch netflix hulu or disney plus on my phone but even then I get 5 minutes into anything and shut it off. I just bought a sword (based off Altairs in assassins creed) as a way to guard myself from depression but it arrives tomorrow and after that I don't know.
Do I know WHY I feel like this? No. I dont. Maybe its cuz I dont feel good enough. For anything or anyone. I neglected WE... I neglect my games... I'm just... meh. My poor little cactus died... poor steve.... I feel alone. I feel numb to everything. I still go to work and fight to make sure I seem okay but I'm not and.. idk.
So for now.... I'm on hiatus. And I really hope I beat this. I hope I can climb out of this rut. If anyone needs me... you can email my side account that receives no mail