Leaving behind Ittudale, the buckskin mare began her march toward the Battlefield of Wild Equines, where all official battles took place in the realm. She would be fighting for her freedom. Win or lose she would be proud of herself. She hoped she was getting her message across to not just Eleazar, but to all of the Dark alliance. The Versai were not to be messed with. They would fight back with everything they had. Trinity had released her moose companions, at least for the moment. She would not use them in battle. She would fight this battle fairly. She was determined to win but also understood that there was a risk of her losing. There was always a risk, but Trinity had to take some risks to get ahead in the game. There was no fear in the mare, only rage and hatred bubbling up into a dangerous concoction. The High Priestess understood that this was a dangerous game she was playing but she was willing to play it all the same. Eleazar would have to come and meet her on the Battlefield while his home was ravaged by blizzards and rain, hopefully becoming flooded and destroyed.
Her buckskin pelt was still dampened by the rain that had started to fall while she was in Ittudale, but the voyage to the Battlefield had warmed the chill that had started to develop in her bones. It was springtime, but it had already been evening by the time Trinity had made it to Ittudale and now there was a slight chill in the air. A breeze passed her by, making the dampened tendrils of her black mane and tail dance around her. She breathed in the scents of spring, the moonlight dappling her body as her steady pace carried her toward her destination. Her face was set in a look of determination. She was not deterred by the fact that it was now later on in the evening. The sky was clear, the stars twinkling, the moon a bright dappled gray orb hanging in the abyss above her. She had trained during the night before. She was confident that she would be able to survive this battle.
She wandered the desert-like Battlefield for a moment, the cracked earth showing signs of no rain for quite some time and tonight did not seem like it would be any different, with the skies clear with nary a cloud to be seen. She looked to find a mostly flat area, with as little cracks in the terrain as possible. There were no rocks strewn nearby that she could potentially trip over. Everything seemed perfect in this particular spot. Now all that there was left to do was wait for her opponent. Eleazar should hopefully be here soon. If not, he would forfeit the battle, and Trinity was free to go home to Lyrarcor, and the brute was free to return home to his damaged lands.
Terms: 4 days to reply, 3 hits, 1 dodge Hits: 0/3 Dodge: 0/1 Injuries: None
// WORDS - 491 | // TAGS - @hecate | // NOTES - here we go TIMELINE - 11 years 5 months, early spring, evening, about a week after coming to Ittudale to give Eleazar her warning, before Aurora is back in the Highlands
Name: Eleazar Breed: Irish Sport Horse x Paso Fino Age: Six Gender: Stallion Height: 17hh Alliance: Dark Health: 95% - previous injury on his right hip from a wolf.
Intermittent thuds hit the pliant topography with a stable thrice beat as the gilded steed moved with practiced ease, directing himself towards the infamous Battlefield. Prior to the last few months, Eleazar’s life had been relatively modest; he had remained under the radar, nothing more than a nomad. Countless years had passed in which Eleaar had put his trust in fate, allowing the intangible force to guide him through the twists and turns of life, eventually delivering him to the exact moment he had decided to take his destiny back. What a brilliant moment that had been. Life had undoubtedly been running at full speed since that exact moment; between the obligations of ruling Ittudale and the self-declared war he was now in against the Versai, the stallion seemed to be losing time – something he hoped to reverse with this battle. There would be no repetition for him if he happened to be on the losing side of today, he would not bother with revisiting the same issues twice; he’d finally be able to wash his hands of the Versai once and for all. His golden coat glinted beneath the illuminated stratosphere, adding an eerie radiance to his brawny carriage, and darkening the contours of his well-developed muscles as his skeleton shifted onwards, falling in pursuit of Allocen. He had gifted her all but a few minutes after she departed before he had commenced his own journey towards their destination, leaving Ittudale and its current disaster in his wake. Thankfully, their journey allowed the beast time to concoct his recuperation, ideas were already whirling through his brain matter. These ideas would put an end to her smugness, he would reinvent Ittudale to its former glory and should he win today, he would reinvent Allocen’s meaning of chaos. But for now; he stored them away for later use; he needed to redirect his thoughts to the issue at hand. Amidst the perfume of the earth, Eleazar’s nasal cavities tasted Allocen’s perfume; it was a sickly odour that churned hated in the pit of his gut. The velvet layer of his mandible wrinkled in disdain at the reminder of the buckskin harlot, but his handsome expression remained otherwise stoic.
His colossal corpse soon breached the edge of the battle ground, his knives meeting the ochre grains of the desert, forcing them from their places under the sheer weight of his body. For a moment, his lids shut as he drew his sculpted chin to his chest, granting himself a moment of composure. This was his first ever trip to the Battlefield and there was no way of predicting what his next steps would be; no amount of confidence would be able to quell that tiny voice in his head that doubted his skills. Upon reopening, his brilliant orange spheres found the lesser mass of Allocen; it was here that his passages finally pulled to a halt, only feet away from the bitch. Eleazar allowed himself time to inspect her, an insidious ridge arching over his intense pools as he pulled the parched air deeply into his lungs. He was amazed that she had issued the challenge in the first place and even further so that she had arrived on the scene rather than disappearing: perhaps she was due for more credit than he had ever given her. Or maybe she was simply too ignorant to accept her fate. Ashen chops peeled towards his gums to reveal his barely stained enamel in a devious smile that failed to reach his tangerine hued voids. The muscles surrounding his right hip protested only slightly as he placed pressure on it; the wolves he and Amarantha successfully defeated had definitely left the two with their own share of sores; thankfully, it was mostly healed now and shouldn’t be too much of a hindrance in actions. Overlooking his own injuries, Eleazar placed focus on Allocen once again; twin peaks twisted rearward to lay flat against his dome piece as his thick cords bunched together for a few, intense seconds before exploding with movement. His huge frame moved with ease as he advanced at a skilful run, his nape pulling downward and his vision tunnelling around the smaller equine; his entire focus directed at his enemy. Drawing towards her left side, Eleazar felt the sand beneath his knives sliding in the dirt as his agile mass rose onto his primed hindlimbs, pulling his forelimbs into the air and striking out at her frame with piercing incisors, his goal to use his weight advantage against her and knock her to the ground.
Terms: 3 hits, 1 dodge and four days to reply Hits: 1/3 - He ran at a canter towards her left side, reared and then brought his body down on her in an attempt to knock her off her feet. Dodge: 0/1 Injuries: - Prior right hip laceration from a wolf. fleabittengray Speech
Standing beneath the gray hues of the moonlight, Trinity waited for Eleazar's arrival to the Battlefield. Her breathing was calm, steady, and even. She was going into this battle with confidence; how else should one approach a battle? She was still very aware that she could lose this fight, ending up a captive in Ittudale for who knew how long, but the buckskin was not going to allow herself to be afraid. She had fought many battles before. She'd had her fair share of wins as well as losses. She had survived every losing battle up to this point. She would continue to survive if she lost again.
As she had expected, it did not take long for Eleazar's arrival. She scented him first, his perfume wafting toward her on another gentle evening breeze. She breathed in his scent, her jaw clenching as she turned her head to sweep a narrowed brown gaze through the shadows. It was within those shadows that she saw his hulking figure moving in her direction. The sound of his hooves thundering across the cracked terrain in a three-beat lope echoed in her ears. She watched his approach with a cool gaze, eyes still narrowed. She did not try to dodge the attack but instead, braced herself for impact. She had been given time to get away from him, but in her mind, dodging the first attack would make her look weak.
The impact of the stallion's larger body coming down on top of her knocked the wind out of her. Her knees buckled and she squealed in annoyance as well as pain. Trinity managed to stumble forward instead of completely collapsing, though there was a twinge in her back. Her knees felt weak. She had to take another few hasty, stumbling steps forward to regain her composure. She took a glance over her shoulder, pain radiating through her neck and spine from the simple movement. Well, fuck. This was not how she had planned on this fight going at all. Swallowing down the pain, the High Priestess turned to face Eleazar. Her movements were slow, showing signs of her pain, and frustration was etched across her facial features.
But the show must go on.
Forcing herself into a wobbly trot, her nostrils flaring in a huff, the buckskin advanced toward Eleazar. Each bouncing stride sent a cascade of pain down her back but she would have to grit her teeth and bare it. She had suffered worse pain than this before.
Once she had reached Eleazar, given he did not move away from her, she reached out with a parted maw to try and grip at his windpipe. The older mare was out for blood. She was not here to play games or to pussyfoot around. She was here to win. She sought to grab a hold of Eleazar's throat and bite down, hard. Not a little nip, but a bite that was meant to make him choke. To reach where she needed to reach, however, she had to stretch up a bit, considering Eleazar was several inches taller than herself. She felt the twinge in her back again and closed her eyes to try and block out the pain.
Terms: 4 days to reply, 3 hits, 1 dodge Hits: 1/3 - Turned and trotted toward Eleazar and went to bite at his throat Dodge: 0/1 Injuries: - Slightly sprained back, will hinder all future movements for the next few days
// WORDS - 536 | // TAGS - @hecate | // NOTES - here we go TIMELINE - 11 years 5 months, early spring, evening, about a week after coming to Ittudale to give Eleazar her warning, before Aurora is back in the Highlands
Name: Eleazar Breed: Irish Sport Horse x Paso Fino Age: Six Gender: Stallion Height: 17hh Alliance: Dark Health: 85% - injuries listed below
Burnt apricot spheres surveyed the tan harlot before him as her weakened limbs buckled, sending her smaller carriage staggering forward uncontrollably upon the dried earthen field, the agony-induced choke that broke the silence appeared to echo inside the confines of his mind, Allocen’s pain ringing over and over in a cheery beat. A savage smirk warped the velvet flesh of his ashen lips as Eleazar felt the earth beneath his hooves once more - a feeling significantly more disappointing than her back had felt. Immediately, he propelled his frame backwards as he retreated out of the immediate reach of the femme, she may have been down for the count for this moment, but he was not about to underestimate the seemingly invincible High Priestess. The gilded steed did not have a direct line of sight to the femme’s face, but every single fibre of his brain matter knew he would find pleasure in the pain that would unquestionably be engraved upon her aged features. He had age on his side in this battle, he knew she had to be a number of years older than himself so surely her body would have been somewhat weakened after being put through that many years, perhaps her heart would give out from this stress; he could only hope for such a fate. In a matter of moments, Allocen appeared to gather her balance, turning to confront him with obvious symptoms of irritation marring her dial – she had been hurt after all. Intense voids narrowed once again on the figure of his adversary as she advanced at an unsteady speed, appearing to struggle with finding a fluid pace as she drew closer and closer. Though he tensed in preparation, a small part of his mind expected the femme to fail at her approach, expecting to watch her fall to ground at his feet. By the time that he realised he had indeed underestimated the bitch, all that Eleazar could do to avoid her attack was pull his dome piece upwards, dragging any crucial regions away from her bared enamel. Thankfully, their height difference appeared to be on his side as the beast felt two rows of fangs attach themselves to the pliant at the point of his upper breast. Eleazar’s mandible clenched tightly to stop the unruly howl that threatened to break free from his vocal cords – he would not let Allocen be aware of any pain she inflicted on him. A golden appendage curled towards his brawny chest, every muscle in his body tensing from the white-hot pain that shot through his physique. Retracting for only a moment, the steed shot his limb outwards towards her, hoping the sheer force of his kick would snap the thing in half.
For a moment he thought she would pull away, but she lingered, and he could feel the crushing weight of her bite threaten his gulping inhalations. Making the fast decision to pry himself from her clutch, the warrior twisted his cranium upwards and away from the obsidian tendrilled spright, a feral snarl finally ripping from his jowl. The soft flesh of his boa tore at the mercy of her incisors and warm blood instantly gushed from the deep wound; splattering and soaking across both of their gilded coats and pouring upon the ground beneath them. Heavy breaths heaved through his chest at the sudden explosion of pain scorching through his torso, but the perspiring stallion did not allow his movement to falter as his body twisted in pursuit of his cerebrum. He would have liked to amount this to sheer strength and determination, but even he could admit that the adrenalin coursing through his veins was his current source of vitality. His turn was fluid, his weight shifting despite the protest of his right hip threatening to break the ease of the movement as he turned to face away from Allocen. Throwing his weight onto his unscathed forelimbs, Eleazar felt his hind hooves lift from the ground, flicking them upwards with whatever strength he had in a brutal buck, hoping it would cause detrimental damage as his appendages flew in the direction of her throat and face. Tangled and bloodstained dreadlocks cascaded in matted waves down the hefty planes of his serpentine as his dinner-plate flints tunnelled into the blood-soaked dirt beneath his skeleton. The handsome leviathan pulled away once more in a spiteful dance, mocking the Versai bitch and hoping she would be forced to use the damaged back muscles for every move she would make against him. He shifted in a semi-circle to study the damage he had inflicted, the muscles around his gaping wound were already tender and solid with bruising as Eleazar struggling to a catch a full breath, the pain flaming and agonizing the moment any muscle near the gash trembled. This rare moment of solace was spent gathering his breaths as Eleazar struggled to find a steady rhythm; he could feel the adrenalin slowly fade away from his system, and he knew he would need some energy to spare, so for now he remained still, examining the bitch’s next movements.
Terms: 3 hits, 1 dodge and four days to reply Hits: 3/3 - He ran at a canter towards her left side, reared and then brought his body down on her in an attempt to knock her off her feet. - While Allocen was biting him, Eleazar lashed out at her front leg with his in an attempt to break/dislocate it. - After he pulled backwards (tearing his flesh off), he spun around and bucked at her neck/face Dodge: 0/1 Injuries: - Prior right hip laceration from a wolf. - Deep laceration to the base of his neck/upper breast; a large chunk of flesh is missing and he is bleeding steadily, there is also significant bruising around this wound. He will need to visit the Vigilum to find assistance in healing this. fleabittengray Speech
Eleazar did not immediately react to her meek charge, much as she did not react to his initial charge toward her. It was only at the very last second that the larger horse lifted his head away from her, though the High Priestess was pleased to feel her teeth sinking into his flesh despite his efforts to avoid the attack. Once she felt her teeth make contact with his body, she bit down harder. This was not just a quick bite, one where she dove in, nipped at the skin, then let go. She had a point she wanted to drive home - mess with the Versai, and you might just end up with more than you could handle. The Sisterhood was not to be underestimated. Not ever again.
It was purely by luck that, when Eleazar kicked out at her front leg, the kick missed her. With her teeth still latched firmly onto the larger horse's body, Trinity awkwardly took a stumbling step sideways. She could feel the whoosh of air where the stallion's hoof went by her leg, slightly above her knee. Her sidestepping had gotten her out of the line of fire, but it had also allowed her firm hold on his skin to start to slip free. It was at that moment that Eleazar twisted away from her. His skin tore as he ripped himself out of her clutches, leaving the older mare with the taste of blood hot and metallic against her tongue. She grimaced, having never been a fan of the taste. The scarlet substance splattered against her face as it spewed from the deep laceration she had succeeded in making. She had a moment of satisfaction, watching as the younger equine heaved with each breath, though it was only but a moment because Eleazar was quick to retaliate.
He spun away from her and she noticed a slight hindrance in his right hip just before she realized that, shit, he was going to kick out at her. She could not move out of the way fast enough, any sudden movements making her back seize up painfully. Even just trying to lift her head out of the way of Eleazar's large hind hooves was not easy and she was not quite successful. A strangled wheeze left the mare as one of Eleazar's hooves kicked her in the side of the head. She saw stars, instinctively going to jerk her head away from the impact which caused the pain in her back to flare up. Her front legs buckled and she fell to her knees with a grunt. Her ears were ringing as she panted, daring to close her eyes amid the battle to try and calm the spinning of her head. She could feel the area bruising.
It took some time for the older mare to get back up onto her feet, her eyes reopening slowly. Briefly, she could have sworn she saw two Eleazar's but a few quick blinks of eyes and her vision centered on the stallion. She took a faltering step forward, bloodied teeth bared at the man, and when she found that she could walk, she walked as quickly as she could toward Eleazar. Her movements were irregular and clumsy, but once she'd approached the stallion, she reached out with her teeth once again, this time attempting to sink them into his right hip. She aimed for where he was already injured, sloppily rearing up onto her hind legs to more properly reach his hip area.
Her back legs wobbled and shook, her back screaming in pain. This bite, if it landed, would not be nearly as severe as the one she had first attacked with. She could not hold the rear for very long and when she came back down onto all fours, she very nearly fell to her knees again, gritting her teeth before she made a split-second decision to, if he did not get away quickly enough, reach down toward his right hock, using her teeth a third time to try and tear the sensitive area open.
Terms: 4 days to reply, 3 hits, 1 dodge Hits: 3/3 . Turned and trotted toward Eleazar and went to bite at his throat . Reared up and tried to bite his right hip where he was already injured . Reached down to the right hock to bite at it, seeking to tear it open Dodge: 1/1 . Moved her leg out of the way of the kick Injuries: . Slightly sprained back, will hinder all future movements for the next few days . Kick to the right side of the head, will cause a concussion and bruising
// WORDS - 679 | // TAGS - @hecate | // NOTES - here we go TIMELINE - 11 years 5 months, early spring, evening, about a week after coming to Ittudale to give Eleazar her warning, before Aurora is back in the Highlands
Name: Eleazar Breed: Irish Sport Horse x Paso Fino Age: Six Gender: Stallion Height: 17hh Alliance: Dark Health: 75% - injuries listed below
A persistent pain tore through his entirety as Eleazar sucked in an intake of oxygen only to hiss it back out from between clenched enamels, his pinnacles pressing even further against the crest of his dome piece. Wine-coloured fluids leaked from the jagged cut than ran across Eleazar’s gilded torso, saturating every fibre it could take hold of. He dared not look down to inspect the wound, unwilling to risk spreading his attention any further than Allocen and whatever attack she would try on him. Silently, he was thankful for the briefly moment he had to compose himself, despite the searing agony that shot like an electrical current along the muscles of his gullet. Forced tears brimmed in the corners of his apricot voids, threatening the clear vision he had before him before he rapidly blinked them away, fixating his violent glower on his adversary once more. His shoulders squared, with objection that he decided to ignore, and his attractive crown lifted to its peak as a wickedly callous smile pressed upon his bloodied jowls, the salmon flesh of his tongue snaking through his parted enamel to taste the metallic substance decorating his otherwise handsome façade. He watched her shaky limbs buckle, her upper half crumbling to the earth in a mess of honey and obsidian – the thought crossed his mind to end it now, to strike out at the fragile bones of her skull and finalise her time on the earth and in that moment, it was as if the entire world held its breath in wait of his next move. But he did not make that move. He did not end whatever miserable existence Allocen chose to live. For he found far more enjoyment in the idea of punishing her for years to come: to kill her children and her children’s children, leaving only one survivor every time to allow his ritual to prosper. Perhaps he would be more sympathetic towards the situation further down the line when he had time to forget the smug look on Allocen’s face as she attempted to obliterate his homeland. He seriously doubted it, but anything was possible at this point. The virile pushed the appetizing thoughts behind the drape of his subconscious as the aged sorceress before him roused from her position on the ground to face him once more; he would give her points for persistence.
His tangerine hued lanterns glistened in the cold light of the moon as Allocen stumbled towards him, he was amazed that she could still walk at all with the beating her back had taken; there could not be many who’s spine was able to survive such a weighted attack. She truly was the cockroach that would not die. Her speed was sluggish as she approached him, almost as if she were unable to support her own weight – but she was seemingly on a direct path for him. With the idea of protection his already wounded neck in mind, Eleazar felt himself pull to the side, away from the staggering mess that was Allocen and whatever half-hearted attack she could enforce on him. Alas, the witch seemed to have fate and speed on her side - a credit to her smaller stature - as she slipped towards his side, lunging for the wounded skin of his hip. Her enamel penetrated where the wolf had only days before, opening up the freshly healed wound. An aggravated snarl slipped from the behemoth’s chops at the burning sensitive of his flesh being torn away from his chassis as her body fell away from his, sabotaging her own attack. Hot liquid spattered from the site of the wound, the two of them now covered in the substance of his body. She had dealt more damage than he ever expected, the only crimson in sight seemingly coming from his life form. Bitter rage seethed from his entire being as his haunch muscles flexed beneath his gilded hide, forcing his appendages to move sideways, pulling himself away from Allocen. He was not about to let himself fall victim to the water-bending witch’s third bite – which seemed to work as he heard the sound of her snapping oxygen with her mandible. Finally, Eleazar turned his infuriated stare to the femme, his fire-hued eyes dancing with the same wrath that bubbled in every iota of his being – focusing all of it on this one vix. ”Pathetic.” Every syllable that constructed that single word was underlined with the agony that devoured him, though the physical aftermath mattered very little to him at this moment, he just wanted Allocen to suffer for her actions and to remember that she too, was mortal.
Terms: 3 hits, 1 dodge and four days to reply Hits: 3/3 - He ran at a canter towards her left side, reared and then brought his body down on her in an attempt to knock her off her feet. - While Allocen was biting him, Eleazar lashed out at her front leg with his in an attempt to break/dislocate it. - After he pulled backwards (tearing his flesh off), he spun around and bucked at her neck/face Dodge: 1/1 - He dodged her last attack by stepping away after she fell. Injuries: - Prior right hip laceration from a wolf. This injury was re-opened by Trinity's second attack, this resulted in wound dehiscence. This wound is now bleeding steadily and will take a while to heal as the muscle/tissue is scarred. The Vigilum will also need to assist with this wound. - Deep laceration to the base of his neck/upper breast; a large chunk of flesh is missing and he is bleeding steadily, there is also significant bruising around this wound. He will need to visit the Vigilum to find assistance in healing this. - The reopening of the wound on his right hip, details explained above. fleabittengray Speech
Notes; I assume this is finished and ready to judge now? I had no attacks left, so I don't see the need of you posting her final form? Sorry I'm not sure how it works x.x
Cohesiveness: 11 Comments: - I took off a point here because on several occasions, I feel like there was not enough description to understand what was going on. The first example for this is when Eleazar made his first attack, coming to Trinity's left side and pushing her down. There was very little description here on how this happened to her, as it was just sort of written as "he attacked her". He was heading towards her, and then he was suddenly there, and it was difficult to understand what was going on from Trinity's point of view. The second example is later on, when Trinity tried to bite Eleazar's neck. It was written that she aimed to bite his windpipe, and while he raised his head back, she still bit. But it only says Trinity bit his body - where? His head, his neck, his shoulder? Would have liked to see more of a description here. - I didn't remove points for this because it's not a critique, just something to think about for future battle posts. I found it very odd in the second Trinity post, when Eleazar was making his first attack. She braced herself for it instead of dodging it, having this thought in her mind ahead of time. However when he attacked her, it was written as though she was almost surprised it had happened, and that the battle was not going the way she wanted it to. That felt very strange to me seeing as she entirely accepted that she was going to be hit this time around. - Overall the posts are okay. The flow of each post isn't great. While spelling/grammar is okay, there are several sentences and paragraphs that are just redundant. Repeating itself with no purpose. In one post she talks about Eleazar's arrival in two paragraphs. In another paragraph, she says almost the same thing three times. - Some spelling and grammar errors and some parts of the posts repeated themselves, such as Trinity worrying about winning/losing and the Versai, but they were cohesive and didn't ramble. Examples of disruptive mistakes: "She would not use them in battle. She would fight this battle fairly. She was determined to win but also understood that there was a risk of her losing. " "She watched his approach with a cool gaze, eyes still narrowed. She did not try to dodge the attack but instead, braced herself for impact." - In Navi's post, Eleazar stops in front of Trinity before making his attack. Here, Gray makes it seem like he went right into the attack from his approach. "Each bouncing stride sent a cascade of pain down her back but she would have to grit her teeth and bare it." - Bare should be bear "His skin tore as he ripped himself out of her clutches, leaving the older mare with the taste of blood hot and metallic against her tongue" - Should be a comma after blood and metallic i.e. "the taste of blood, hot and metallic, against her tongue" "Briefly, she could have sworn she saw two Eleazar's but a few quick blinks of eyes and her vision centered on the stallion." - missing a her before eyes i.e. "her eyes"
Realism: 13.5 Comments: - While I completely understand Trinity's need to take a moment after a kick to the head, I don't feel as though it is realistic to expect falling to one's knees, taking a breather, and not have one's opponent take advantage of that. While I understand Eleazar did not technically have any attacks left at that time, I don't feel like realistically an equine in battle would allow themselves that moment of vulnerability. - I don't know about you, but when I'm hit from the side, I generally don't stumble forwards. - Very realistic. Trinity is at a disadvantage with height, and takes that to her advantage, picking out weaknesses she noticed( wolf bite). - Personally, it does not make sense to me that Trinity would simply stand there and take Eleazar's first attack without attempting to dodge.
Movement: 14.5 Comments: - I very much appreciate how much time you took to address Trinity's injuries throughout the entire thread, constantly referencing back to it, and how it hindered her movements. - While the attacks are realistic and smart in picking out weaknesses(wolf bite, height disadvantage), Trinity is said to be out for blood and I feel the attacks are bleak. I feel she is well written in being affected by the attacks thrown at her, but her attacks back seem bland and lacking power. Lacking the fire the posts feel she has. - Addressed their height difference in her attacks - Addressed her injuries very well, which I enjoyed a lot. They impacted her next attacks.
Completion of the Form: 15 Comments: - Completed, no issues.
TOTAL: 54 Points
Roleplayer & Character: @hecate with Eleazar
Cohesiveness: 13 Comments: - There were some minor grammatical errors, a couple of lengthy sentences, but I did not find that they hindered the flow of the posts. - Overall the posts were good, but there were several mistakes that just became distracting and I had to stop reading to figure out what it meant. - Posts were focused on the battle. There were some spelling and grammar mistakes that disrupted the flow of the posts, especially during tense moments. Examples of disruptive mistakes: - "His huge frame moved with ease as he advanced at a skilful run, his nape pulling downward and his vision tunnelling around the smaller equine; " - skillful is spelled wrong and tunneling. - "pulling his forelimbs into the air and striking out at her frame with piercing incisors," - this is a little confusing, as incisors are teeth, I wouldn't consider them his hooves so it sounds like he's going to bite at her but is just rearing/crashing down on her. - "a small part of his mind expected the femme to fail at her approach, expecting to watch her fall to ground at his feet."- this should be 'expecting to watch her fall to the ground at his feet". - "Thankfully, their height difference appeared to be on his side as the beast felt two rows of fangs attach themselves to the pliant at the point of his upper breast." - this sentence is hard to read and incorrect as pliant is an adjective not a noun, so it doesn't make sense. - "Silently, he was thankful for the briefly moment he had to compose himself," - briefly should be brief. - "An aggravated snarl slipped from the behemoth’s chops at the burning sensitive of his flesh being torn away from his chassis as her body fell away from his," - sensitive should be sensation. - "His tangerine hued lanterns glistened in the cold light of the moon as Allocen stumbled towards him, he was amazed that she could still walk at all with the beating her back had taken; there could not be many who’s spine was able to survive such a weighted attack." - Who's should be whose - "With the idea of protection his already wounded neck in mind, Eleazar felt himself pull to the side, away from the staggering mess that was Allocen and whatever half-hearted attack she could enforce on him" - Protection should be protecting - "He shifted in a semi-circle to study the damage he had inflicted, the muscles around his gaping wound were already tender and solid with bruising as Eleazar struggling to a catch a full breath, the pain flaming and agonizing the moment any muscle near the gash trembled." - Struggling should be struggled - "An aggravated snarl slipped from the behemoth’s chops at the burning sensitive of his flesh being torn away from his chassis as her body fell away from his, sabotaging her own attack." this, in combination with the dodge description "He dodged her last attack by stepping away after she fell." implies that Trinity fell, which she did not - she very nearly did.
Realism: 15 Comments: - I really liked that you addressed Eleazar making assumptions in his thoughts as he watched Trinity approach for her first attack, and then had her strike because he had made a mistake in his thinking. I believe that was really good to note that he likely wouldn't have had enough time to think all these things and completely avoid her. - Each attack was realistic as can be. Immediately rearing, lunging/biting out, then spinning around to buck at them. I think they were well thought out. - Attacks all felt realistic, especially using his height advantage in his attacks.
Movement: 14 Comments: - There are a couple of instances where you described Eleazar as stopping only a few feet away from Trinity, but then being able to take up a full run at her to make his attack (for example, in his first attack). I imagine that a few feet would be easily covered by one stride for an equine of his size, so maybe something to think about in future posts that he likely wouldn't have that much time to gain much momentum if he is already starting from so close to her. - Attacks were well thought out, not only were they counteracting but they were attempting to hit key body structures. - Used his height to his advantage as well as using Trinity's own attacks to retaliate.
Completion of the Form: 15 Comments: - Completed, no issues.
TOTAL: 57 Points
Congratulations to the winner @hecate with Eleazar!