Life Is But A Dream...
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Post by fleabittengray on Apr 9, 2023 8:41:41 GMT -7
For somebody that I thought was my savior You sure make me do a whole lot of labor
Winter was coming to an end. The weather was warming up. It was almost time for her to retire. Xovad would be taking over soon, leaving her to raise Dahlia and live out the rest of her mortal life in retirement. She planned on staying in the Highlands, in Lyrarcor, to offer support and advice should any of the new generation need it. She hated to admit it, but Aurora was not in any condition to be giving advice to Seren or to Luna. Not even to Xovad. Aurora needed to focus on healing herself before she could be giving advice to the new generation of the Sisterhood. If she even could... Trinity had her doubts. Aurora had been through significant trauma, more so even then Trinity herself. Trinity had lost an eye, but Aurora? She'd lost the last traces of her sanity and confidence. That was going to be just as impossible to regain as growing a new eye was. In all honesty, the buckskin former High Priestess didn't think staying in the Highlands was going to serve any good for Aurora - but where else could she go? She was banned from the Light Kingdom. Would she be willing to go anywhere else?
Troubled by her thoughts, Trinity had a frowned etched onto her lips as she walked through the Bachelor Lands. She did not really enjoy coming here, because every time she came here she tended to run into some sort of trouble, but then again... trouble did always seem to find her no matter where she was. It was just her destiny, to have trouble find her. Perhaps she and Dahlia were not so different...
Thinking of her daughter turned her frown slowly into a small smile. Dahlia... Her Cambion child. She'd never thought she would see the day where she had a Cambion related to her, let alone her own child. Sure, her conception had been horrific and she never wanted to go through anything like it again, but she did love her daughter - despite her being twice as difficult to raise as her boys had been. She was just so rambunctious! Trinity was hoping she would calm down as she got older, but the filly was fully weaned now and she still had just as much, if not more, energy as she had started out with.
[Speech: #d8c2b2] [Tagged: Open] [Words: 391] [Character: Trinity / Allocen] [Notes: xxx] [Timeline: 13 years 7 months, late winter, late morning, after her threads with Cassian and Aurora, Dahlia is fully weaned]
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Post by Sunfrost on Apr 12, 2023 16:37:44 GMT -7
It was a rare day. The promise of spring in the air lent energy to Duramus’s hooves. He’d been feeling a bit tired more recently, probably because of the way the cold sank into his very bones and made him wish to hibernate. Yet the job of a Vigilum could never be over, and he had persisted in his duties throughout the long winter. Thankfully, nothing too catastrophic had occurred during the winter – everything had been more or less peaceful, but Dur knew in a calm-before-the-storm sort of way. He knew there was unrest throughout the realms, mainly caused by the two sides of the Afterlife having a disagreement and dragging the mortal world into it. Dur was not looking forward to what would happen in the near future. The conflicts of the immortal were no place for mortals. Who was he to talk, though? He had powers granted by an Afterlife entity, including the ability to heal wounds with a touch and to tell no lies. He could influence others more easily, and detect lies as they were spoken. So perhaps the intersection between the mortal and immortal world was inevitable.
Sometimes, though, Duramus wished he didn’t have to think about these things. It was his life’s work to think of them, to make up for how he had been in his youth, but the older bay draft mix wished sometimes he could devote his thoughts and time purely to his son, Ruse. Ruse was growing up quickly, time seemed to be flying, and Dur still didn’t know if his son would one day replace him among the Vigilum. He dreamed of that occurring, but didn’t know if it actually would. He hoped it would. Nothing would make the gray eyed horse prouder than to see his son rise to fill in the hoofsteps Dur had left behind for him. But that also didn’t mean he expected Ruse to rise to that occasion, not if he didn’t want to. Dur wanted him to choose to. He imagined Esalu would have no objection were it to happen. It was truly just up to Ruse to see if he would like to.
Dur found himself wandering the Bachelor Lands today, more out of idle curiosity than anything else. He’d been wandering the Freelands and the Royal Herdlands more frequently as of late, trying to keep tabs on everything going on. The Vigilum messenger birds were working particularly hard to keep up with his wanderings. The distraction of his mind didn’t rob him of his senses, though – it would be hard to miss the vaguely familiar buckskin mare present in these lands too. His eyes were drawn to her, his mind trying to remember – who was this? Had he met her before? He drew closer, trying not to startle her, just trying to think of who she was – and then it clicked with him. This was Allocen, of the Versai. No longer High Priestess, if what Luna had said upon her last visit to Mount Vigilum for training was anything to go by. Allocen was out wandering, seemingly alone and intentless. Dur wondered if perhaps she would like some company, and would remember their first and only one-on-one meeting many years ago. He’d come to Lyrarcor and admired the forests therein.
Good morning Duramus neighed, his tones hopefully soft enough to not startle the mare before him. Do you remember me? The Vigilum brand on his right shoulder should speak volumes if not, but Dur couldn’t help being curious. The brand should hopefully also put the mare at ease. Dur knew the Versai’s reputation was still in tatters, so long after the murder of one of the former Dark Kings.
tagged// fleabittengray notes// Thought this might be interesting! <3
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Post by fleabittengray on Apr 15, 2023 10:20:11 GMT -7
For somebody that I thought was my savior You sure make me do a whole lot of labor
Plodding along through the Bachelor Lands without any reason to be there, Trinity wondered if she should just turn around and go home. Lyrarcor wasn't going to be a land she ruled for long, however. Soon, it would be Xovad's turn, and she would be free to do with her time whatever it was that she wanted. She was going to have to get used to having free time, something she'd rarely had in many years. Ever since becoming a Versai Sister the second time around, Trinity had been keeping herself busy. It was strange, the idea of having nothing to do with her time other than try to relax and cope with her life choices. It was almost amusing, in a way, thinking how far she'd come only to fall off so quickly. And all it had taken was one mistake. Granted, murder wasn't really a mistake anyone could or should get away with... But at least she had owned up to it! She wasn't a monster. She was simply a woman who had let her emotions rule her, made her react too quickly, too suddenly, with hatred. Xerxes had not deserved to die that way that he did. And it was all her fault, too.
The thud of other hooves against the earth caused her to remove herself from her thoughts that were a whirlwind. The one-eyed buckskin lifted her head, looking in the direction of the other equine that was approaching her. He was familiar, someone she had met before, but for once, Trinity could not clearly remember his name. Still, she gave a soft smile at the stallion, dipping her head in a display of respect - especially as she spotted the Vigilum marking upon his shoulder. Trinity knew the Vigilum meant her no harm. Good morning. Do you remember me? A quiet chuckle fell from the mare's lips and she smiled sheepishly. "I remember you, but not your name, I'm afraid," she admitted, not wanting to pretend she remembered and make an even bigger fool out of herself than she perhaps already had. "Remind me again, will you, my friend?" And then, she hoped that he would not take offense to her calling him a friend, either, because most citizens of Wild Equines were far from friendly with the Versai at the moment.
Would the Vigilum as a group consider the Sisterhood to be friends, or at least friendly? So long as Casimiro was a member of it, she highly doubted it. Casi was not fond of the Sisters, and for good enough reasons, too. But that was a whole other can of worms she didn't feel like thinking about and opening just at this moment.
[Speech: #d8c2b2] [Tagged: Sunfrost ] [Words: 450] [Character: Trinity / Allocen] [Notes: Thanks for joining!] [Timeline: 13 years 7 months, late winter, late morning, after her threads with Cassian and Aurora, Dahlia is fully weaned]
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Post by Sunfrost on Apr 23, 2023 11:56:03 GMT -7
Dur didn’t notice that Allocen had only one eye left until he got closer, and privately berated himself for the oversight even as he continued to smile in a friendly manner at her. Horses with only one eye were more easily startled because they didn’t have the full vision that horses with both eyes did. It was a difficult adjustment to make. Dur had not worked with many horses before who adjusted to having only one eye, but he assumed it must have been difficult to make up for the sensory loss caused by the loss of an eye, especially given most horses were already prone to flight over fight. He wondered if during this conversation, he’d be able to enquire as to how she had lost the eye – Dur would have remembered if she didn’t have it before. The Vigilum stallion noticed the nod of respect she gave him and relaxed further, especially as she responded in a most courteous manner. I remember you, but not your name, I’m afraid. Remind me again, will you, my friend?
Duramus didn’t need his Vigilum ability to detect lies to tell that there were no lies in Allocen’s words. The Versai mare indeed did not remember his name, but did consider him a friend. That was…nice, in a way. Like he had been greeted as an equal of some sort, a confidante, rather than as someone who could perform a service for whoever he was speaking with. Too often, the Vigilum were seen as problem solvers above anything else, as horses that could render a service rather than simply be. Being called a friend by someone he had never performed a service for, but who he had simply conversed with…it was nice. I’m Duramus he introduced, the smile never wavering from his face. I met you once in Lyrarcor…we talked of the beauty of Lyrarcor’s forests, as well as the dangers that could lie within. That was the most of what Dur remembered from that conversation, anyway, as well as how guided Allocen had been, seemingly beaten down by everything that had happened with the Versai more recently then than now. Despite the fact all of that had occurred years before, it was clearly still negatively impacting the Versai.
How have you been, Allocen? he asked, his tone still gentle. Duramus’s observant gray eyes picked up more than he let on – Allocen had been battered in some way. But the fact she was out here, wandering, could be a good thing – venturing beyond the Highlands had proven good for the Versai thus far. Dur would have asked more specific questions, but felt perhaps not yet at this point in time – he wanted Allocen to more fully remember him first.
tagged// fleabittengray notes// <3
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Post by fleabittengray on May 19, 2023 19:41:04 GMT -7
For somebody that I thought was my savior You sure make me do a whole lot of labor
The mare's one eye blinked slowly at the Vigilum stallion, not wary but more curious. She had a vague memory of him, something distant and not quite solid, but she knew that the Vigilum meant her no harm - except for maybe Casimiro. The former Versai ally probably thought she was worse than the Devil, but she couldn't blame him. Did he even know that she had been friends with his mother, before the accident with Oath? She had mourned the death of Lanathia just as much as anyone else. She had met Casimiro and Mariposa when they were kids, once or twice, given that she had been so close with Underoath back in the day. Before... well. Before the truth came to light about all the wrongs he had been doing. Trinity could not tolerate sexual assault. Not by him or by anyone. It had devastated her to know she had given her trust to a man that did such disgusting things to women. Where he was now, she had no idea. Trinity almost hoped he was far away from Wild Equines, never to return.
I’m Duramus. The introduction drew her out of her thoughts and she smiled, giving a soft sigh of remembrance and nodding. I met you once in Lyrarcor…we talked of the beauty of Lyrarcor’s forests, as well as the dangers that could lie within. She laughed lightly, quietly, and focused her singular gaze upon the brute. "Right, yes, of course. My home." A look of bittersweet fondness crossed her face and she sighed again, heavier this time. "I won't be lead of Lyrarcor much longer, however, Duramus. But it will always be home." So long as her son allowed her to live there, which she couldn't imagine Xovod telling her to leave. There passed a moment of silent, calmed like the morning breeze that danced between them. How have you been, Allocen?
His tone was gentle, but still she tensed, ears twitching slightly backward despite the smile remaining in place on her face. "It could always be worse," was her answer, a slight shrug of her shoulders given as she did her best to avoid the topic. She would be fine. Everything would be fine, just like it always was.
[Speech: #d8c2b2] [Tagged: Sunfrost ] [Words: 375] [Character: Trinity / Allocen] [Notes: xxx] [Timeline: 13 years 7 months, late winter, late morning, after her threads with Cassian and Aurora, Dahlia is fully weaned]
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Post by Sunfrost on Aug 11, 2023 7:10:34 GMT -7
Duramus noticed her soft sigh as he introduced himself – ah, perhaps that meant that she remembered him. It was nice to be remembered, but by no means would Dur judge if she had not. The Versai always seemed to be going through something these days. He knew the mental toll of anguish over past actions – he felt it every day, and it had motivated him to become a Vigilum in the first place. She laughed as he spoke of her home, a look of fondness crossing her face. The bay stallion wondered how long Allocen had lived in Lyrarcor – had it been her whole life? What was that like? These days, Duramus wandered at will, calling no place home – only base camps. His closest home was Mount Vigilum, yet no Vigilum resided there. They could live elsewhere, but not necessarily there, which was interesting. His attention turned back to Allocen as she revealed that she would not be lead much longer, but it would always be home. He blinked, acknowledging her words and the gravity of them. Oh he neighed, his tones remaining soft and non-judgmental. Are you stepping down from the Versai, Allocen? He supposed it might be about time, but didn’t know if Allocen had a child ready to take her place, or would be leaving the Versai entirely with no legacy except the memory of her alias and the Versai’s most infamous deed. He asked her then how she had been, receiving an almost defensive response in terms of her body language. The smile remained fixed to her face, but Dur did not miss the tension in her shoulders, in the tilt of her ears, how her smile and gaze seemed bereft of true warmth expressing genuine emotion. She remarked that it could always be worse – Dur supposed it could be, but that wasn’t exactly an encouraging response. Dur pondered how to respond. Allocen had no reason to trust him, yet his Vigilum heart couldn’t help but want to reach out and bridge the gap in emotional distance. The Vigilum are sworn to be neutral he neighed, his gaze switching away from her almost as though he was trying to take the pressure off. Things could always be worse, but that doesn’t mean that what you’re currently experiencing isn’t something worth…processing. Discussing. Change is hard. A lot has happened with the Versai…enmity and revenge among them. If you ever wish to talk, Allocen, please know that my ears are as neutral as they can be, and I will listen. The Vigilum could not lie, and he hoped Allocen could detect the notes of truth within his voice as he spoke. tagged// fleabittengray <3 notes// Super rushed, many apologies as I'm dashing to get a plane and wanted to avoid a strike if I can!
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Post by fleabittengray on Dec 27, 2023 5:56:31 GMT -7
For somebody that I thought was my savior You sure make me do a whole lot of labor
It was strange to think that in just a few weeks she would be retiring. She was no longer High Priestess, having stepped down to allow Luna to take the lead. Her time in the Sisterhood was coming to an end. It was such an odd feeling, after so many years of serving in the Versai. She had dedicated the vast majority of her life to the Sisterhood. They had given her hope and a home and a purpose, things she never imagined she would ever have. She had gained friends, as well as enemies, and though she was vastly misunderstood these days... she still felt like she had done some good in her life. Even if it was just small things and one massive mistake, at least she had done some good in her lifetime. She knew she was starting to get older. She was slowing down more these days, not as quick or strong as she used to be. She still took part in training, especially now with Valfrid about to step up as a full Brother of the Versai, but she also had Hymn to help train, and Dahlia would be ready for physical training lessons instead of just learning history in a matter of months... Her children, Lirana too, were all growing up and though she loved to watch them grow, it still brought an ache to her chest.
Oh Duramus stated after she spoke of no longer leading Lyrarcor, adding on shortly after, Are you stepping down from the Versai, Allocen? She chuckled, soft and sentimental, and nodded. "I have already stepped down as High Priestess. Luna is now the High Priestess of the Sisterhood," she explained, figuring it was time to start spreading the news, anyway. The world would find out eventually. "I am retiring fully come the spring and my son, Valfrid, will be promoted to a Brother of the Versai. Eos is also retiring in the spring and her daughter, Oleander, will be promoted to Sister. Times are changing. It's time for the next generation of Versai to make their mark on the world. I pray they are successful in their endeavors." She smiled, but there was a sadness to it as well as a fondness and pride. She was proud of Luna and Val and Ole, the three of them had been working hard and deserved this moment. Spring was going to bring a lot of changes, but she was preparing as best she could for them. Honestly? She just didn't know what she was going to do with all her spare time now.
The Vigilum are sworn to be neutral Her ears twitched, listening quietly as the Vigilum spoke with such kindness and softness to his words. It made her eye begin to water and she was quick to blink away the forming tears. She was thankful that, at that moment, Duramus happened to look away from her. Things could always be worse, but that doesn’t mean that what you’re currently experiencing isn’t something worth…processing. Discussing. Change is hard. A lot has happened with the Versai…enmity and revenge among them. If you ever wish to talk, Allocen, please know that my ears are as neutral as they can be, and I will listen. Trinity took a deep breath, inhaling until it hurt and then letting the breath out slowly. Trying to ground herself and process the words. It was... strange... having someone offer to listen. She felt like no one wanted to listen to her anymore.
"Thank you, Duramus. I appreciate that. It's nice to know I have at least one horse in this world I can go to." Her lips quivered slightly and the tears were threatening to appear again. She cleared her throat, sniffling softly. "Kinda feels like the world hates me, honestly. Haven't had many to talk to, outside of those in the Highlands, in a long time it feels like. I know I've made mistakes, and I have many regrets, but... I'm not some devil. I... just feel like hating us is the popular thing to do these days, I guess."
[Speech: #d8c2b2] [Tagged: Sunfrost ] [Words: 685] [Character: Trinity / Allocen] [Notes: So sorry for the wait! <3] [Timeline: 13 years 7 months, late winter, late morning, after her threads with Cassian and Aurora, Dahlia is fully weaned]
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Post by Sunfrost on Jan 10, 2024 11:46:54 GMT -7
The chuckle she gave then, sentimental and softer than she expected, told Duramus all he needed to know. The bay Vigilum wasn’t surprised when Allocen confirmed that she had stepped down as High Priestess, allowing Luna to take over, and that she was retiring this spring to be succeeded by her son, Valfrid. She went on to also reveal that Eos, her fellow Sister, was also retiring and being succeeded by her daughter, Oleander. Dur’s mind raced as he worked through the implications of this news. Luna had been active around the realm generally doing good things, from what he had heard. He didn’t know Valfrid or Oleander as well as he should, but it was incredibly newsworthy that the Versai were transitioning ranks like this. Dur wondered how Luna would take to leadership. He nodded in agreement as Allocen finished her words by commenting how the times were changing, and it was time for the Versai to make their mark on the world. She prayed for their success.
Dur mirrored her smile, which was slightly sad but proud. I have a son, Ruse he decided to reveal. There was no harm of it. I hope that one day he will succeed me in the Vigilum, but there is never a guarantee that that is what he will want to do. I think he has the aptitude and talent for it, but at the moment he is more interested in being young. Dur didn’t comment on his age or how that made him feel most days. You must be immeasurably proud of Valfrid for succeeding you. I cannot imagine how you feel, though I hope to feel the same way in a few years if my son does decide to take my position in the Vigilum. Though I can’t imagine retiring! What would I do with my time? He chuckled, unknowingly mirroring Allocen’s thoughts on the matter, but it was true. Dur had no home and spent his time wandering and solving problems, never able to lie, always healing others. Without that purpose, how would he live?
The Vigilum extended his offer to talk whenever Allocen would like to, acknowledging the difficulties of change and how it all needed to be processed gently and with time. He heard her breathe in deeply and exhale slowly, the breath drawn out as though it was precious. Without needing to look at her, Dur could feel that his words had had some impact on her. That, more than anything, brought a gentle smile back to his face, even as he listened to her next words thanking him for being willing to listen and revealing the true depths of her emotional state. She claimed it felt as though the world hated her, and she’d had no one to talk to outside of the Highlands. She acknowledged her mistakes and her regrets, but that she was not some devil. In the end, she concluded hating the Versai was a popular choice these days. She’d clearly given up hope to change that.
When I was younger, I made a lot of choices I wasn’t proud of. Becoming Vigilum felt like the only way to make up for the things I used to do and the crimes I committed. Who you are in the past does not have to be who you are today. I think you know that, and anyone with a functioning brain knows that, but the general world has trouble seeing it. I can see why you would not want to leave the Highlands at any point for that reason alone, and that feeling of judgment. Please know you are always welcome at Mount Vigilum. None of the Vigilum will judge. Dur spoke the words confidently and truthfully, as he was bound to. He hoped Allocen would take up the offer one day – it would do her some good to be out of the Highlands, and out and among the world. He added As time passes, I’m sure Luna, Valfrid, and Oleander will do what they can to improve the Versai’s reputation. In time, you may feel less hated than you do now. It will come. He hoped she would find his words reassuring.
Once you officially leave the Versai, do you think you’ll go by your real name again instead of your Versai name? he queried, curious. He had a distant thought that going by her real name could help Allocen distance herself from what she’d done as a Versai, but didn’t voice that thought for now.
tagged// fleabittengray notes// such a heartwarming thread tbh, I love it <3
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Post by fleabittengray on Jan 23, 2024 8:32:16 GMT -7
For somebody that I thought was my savior You sure make me do a whole lot of labor
There was a sense of nostalgia as she talked about retiring from the Versai. She had literally spent nearly all of her life living in the Highlands, either as a Versai Sister, or a member of one of their herds. She had lived in Rosemonde at first, before climbing the ranks and becoming a Sister herself, which was when she claimed the lands of Lyrarcor as her own. So many years she'd spent dedicated to the Sisterhood. She hated to think that she had been wrong all of this time, despite all of the good she had done with her position, but Trinity... she just felt so much hatred from others cast toward herself and the others that called themselves Versai, or friends of the Versai. It was impossible not to feel at least an inkling of doubt, growing and festering like an untreated wound. She did not want to relay this all to Duramus, did not want to bother him with her woes, but goddamn, would it feel good to get this all off her chest.
I have a son, Ruse The information was, in general, unimportant but Trinity treated it with as much attention as she would give anything else. "Oh, how lovely! I didn't know. How old is he?" she asked, wondering if Ruse might be of a good age to befriend any of her own children. She often felt bad that, due to her mistakes, they were often outcasted by the rest of society. I hope that one day he will succeed me in the Vigilum, but there is never a guarantee that that is what he will want to do. I think he has the aptitude and talent for it, but at the moment he is more interested in being young. The one-eyed mare chuckled softly, grinning. "I got lucky with Val. He wanted to become a Versai from the moment he was old enough to know what it was." And also as a way to further distance himself from his father, Vyreth. Trinity could not blame him for wanting to make it 100% clear that he was nothing like his father. She could only hope that Dahlia would do the same and want nothing to do with Ragnar, nor her grandfather, Xerxes.
You must be immeasurably proud of Valfrid for succeeding you. I cannot imagine how you feel, though I hope to feel the same way in a few years if my son does decide to take my position in the Vigilum. Though I can’t imagine retiring! What would I do with my time? Time. Always moving, a constant in all of their lives, but they would never have enough of it. A chill ran down her spine, as it always did when she began to think too deeply upon the concept of time. "I'm worried I'll be so terribly bored!" she admitted, laughing. She had spent so many years doing something that now the thought of not having to do anything was almost maddening.
Then came talk of their pasts, and past mistakes. Trinity listened, intent and quiet, as Duramus spoke, encouraging her to reach out to the Vigilum, stating that they were neutral and would not judge - however, she found that hard to believe. She would always be judged. It was just in the nature of beings to be judgmental. As time passes, I’m sure Luna, Valfrid, and Oleander will do what they can to improve the Versai’s reputation. In time, you may feel less hated than you do now. It will come. But would it? It felt so far away, out of grasp, out of reach. Xerxes certainly would not forgive her, so why would any else? Once you officially leave the Versai, do you think you’ll go by your real name again instead of your Versai name? She gave a one-eyed blink at Duramus and then snorted out an amused laugh. "I don't think so. My 'real name' doesn't feel so real anymore. It's not who I am. It hasn't been for several years now..." She trailed off, trying to shove aside the nagging questions that were gnawing at her. Finally, after chewing anxiously at her lip, the buckskin maiden spoke.
"I worry for my daughter, Dahlia. She is a Cambion. Xerxes is her grandfather." She swallowed, her throat dry and her words shaking. The trauma was still fresh, though the physical wounds she'd suffered from Ragnar had long since healed. "Xerxes was there when she was born. And I have promised him that he is allowed to be a part of her life, if that's what Dahlia wants. But I..." She frowned, not quite sure how to say what she wanted to say. "I am afraid that he and his son, Dahlia's father, will not be satisfied with just that. Xerxes already hates me, and rightfully so, I will admit, but I am so scared of what that will mean for Dahlia. She is just a child..." And now, a tear did trail down her cheek and she looked away, closing her eye and taking in another deep breath. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to ramble on about this. I'll figure it out. Always do."
[Speech: #d8c2b2] [Tagged: Sunfrost w/ Duramus ] [Words: 867] [Character: Trinity / Allocen] [Notes: I really do love this thread a lot <3] [Timeline: 13 years 7 months, late winter, late morning, after her threads with Cassian and Aurora, Dahlia is fully weaned]
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Post by Sunfrost on Mar 17, 2024 16:57:44 GMT -7
Duramus knew that Allocen was likely thinking much more than she would say. They didn’t really know each other, after all. However, he was happy that she was willing to speak even a little bit with him about whatever was on her mind, and he was more than happy to share what he could with her. He started to speak about Ruse, to which Allocen asked how old Ruse was. Ruse is almost two he neighed, feeling himself feel slightly surprised at the thought. He hadn’t realized Ruse was as old as that – it felt like Ruse had been born just the other month, not nearly two years ago. He smiled as Allocen chuckled, saying she had gotten lucky with her son and his calling. When did he first understand what it meant to be Versai? he asked, curious. Ruse seemed like he was old enough to understand, yet Duramus had the feeling the true meaning of the role remained unclear to him. I’m not sure Ruse understands yet what being Vigilum is he added, deciding he might as well explain his question. Perhaps in time, and with more experience, he will. That was all Duramus could hope for, anyway.
The bay draft mix switched the topic to retirement, which could be a touchy topic depending on life circumstances. He was heartened when Allocen chuckled, echoing his sentiments about potentially being bored in retirement. Me as well he agreed. I don’t know how to stop being Vigilum…being able to lie, after so long of telling the truth…distancing myself from the affairs of the world, after so long married to it…I suppose meaning will have to be found elsewhere. He tried not to dwell on that for too long, as he had no idea what that other meaning would be. Without the authority that was vested in being Vigilum, would anyone even listen to or believe him?
Duramus had no idea how Allocen would react to him delicately suggesting that she reach out to the Vigilum to talk. The Versai were so judged that Dur would not blame her for feeling as though no neutral place existed for them. He asked her about her name and whether she would go by it once she left the Versai, and listened intently as she discussed how her real name didn’t feel like who she was anymore. He stayed quiet, sensing there was more on her mind than what she was saying, watching her chew at her lip before speaking again. He paid ever more attention as she described how Dahlia, her daughter, was a Cambion, and Xerxes was her grandfather. Duramus hadn’t know that…and he had no doubt, suddenly, that this was an unwilling pregnancy and unwilling child. How else could this have come about? He stayed quiet as Allocen described how she’d promised Xerxes he could be part of Dahlia’s life if Dahlia wanted, but was worried that that would not be enough for Xerxes and his son. A tear escaped her eye, and she seemed embarrassed suddenly at the outburst.
The stallion knew that Allocen’s concern was not unwarranted. It had been enough for her to offer Xerxes a chance to be involved in his granddaughter’s life given she was likely a product of rape…but such fear was in Allocen’s words, reflected in her voice and actions. Dur was actually uncertain how to respond, and couldn’t remember the last time he hadn’t known what to say. Even now, after so many years as a Vigilum, he didn’t always know how to react or speak. Your concerns are warranted he neighed, deciding to start there, with the simple and unvarnished truth. Especially with the war going on, and the Underworld’s interest in all Cambions…Has she been threatened yet by Xerxes or her father? he questioned. He considered whether the Vigilum could play a role in mediating any dispute that arose, and how they could protect the child…Dahlia’s wishes needed to be honored, and he would not want her forcefully put on a different path. But would helping her be seen as bias against the Underworld and in favor of the Versai? There were multiple layers to unwrap.
tagged// fleabittengray notes// Slightly rambly, many apologies! Was very distracted throughout. Hope it makes sense!
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