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Post by Sunfrost on May 14, 2023 11:27:57 GMT -7
Casi’s news had been…distressing. The stallion was leaving the Vigilum due to his lack of action in an affair in which he should have been impartial. His impartiality meant he no longer could be Vigilum. That meant Duramus now reigned as the longest-standing Vigilum, with Cassian as the second. They would need a third…but Duramus had barely processed the fact that Casi was leaving them. He and Cassian had barely had a chance to speak since the news had come through. They would need to speak now, but so much had been going on throughout the realm that they hadn’t yet had the chance. He and Cassian had been busy…incredibly so. Dur wondered if Cassian was even returning home to Omashu most nights given everything that was needed at Mount Vigilum. Just because a war was on didn’t mean other, uninvolved equines didn’t need their help with their own issues. Duramus found his work in particular to be tiring, but rewarding – he specialized in aiding equines with their mental ailments, be it nightmares all the way to handling traumas.
Given a war was on, they would need to play diplomat, too, and that was impossible with just the two of them. They would need to call for a third, but they had not yet. Dur wanted some time for he and Cassian to process, to handle the fact that Casi had left them, and to prepare for what was coming ahead. They would need to quickly bring their latest member up to speed, and that meant knowing everything that was going on even moreso than usual while still keeping abreast of their normal duties. The first step, as Dur liked to think of it, was actually speaking with Cassian, though, and seeing how he was doing. Given the war that was apparently now going on, Dur had been thinking they could also use an apprentice to help around the Mount – now, they just sincerely needed a third member.
The day was brighter than Dur’s mood. The bay draft mix looked up at the sun, trying to let the warmth of it sink into his limbs and relax him but finding very little relief. He needed to speak with Cassian, and soon. They needed to continue without Casi and accept change as well as the weight of their duties. They needed to be ready for what was to come. Their role as Vigilum was as urgent as ever. With that in mind, Duramus nodded to himself, finally choosing to call out over the Mount Cassian? He hoped the younger Vigilum was around and up for a conversation. It’d been a while since they’d had the chance to speak one-on-one, and there was a lot they needed to catch up on.
tagged// Pippin notes// As we discussed via Discord - some time for them to talk and have a heart to heart <3
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Post by Pippin on May 19, 2023 20:08:54 GMT -7
Cassian Cassians thoughts where in turmoil. When Casi had come to him and Dur and explained he could no longer be a part of the Vigilum his first reaction was to deny the other stallions proclamation. To give Casi the benefit of the doubt, to give him another chance. But he slowly realized they could not do such a thing. Part of their oath when drinking from the pool was to be neutral. Fully and completely, to help all sides no matter what. No matter what they felt was right or wrong. Casi had failed that oath and if others found out and then saw that Casi was still part of the order trust in them would be broken and their work would be even harder. His heart was broken by this fact, Casi was his first and dearest friend. But it wasn’t like he was losing that friendship, he still lived with Casi in Omashu even if the stallion had also stepped down from being herd lead.He was pulled away from the swirling thoughts of Casi as he heard his name called out with the voice of Dur. Cassian looked up and towards the cave entrance, he had come to the mountain earlier that day and was going though what stock they had and trying to make notes of what they needed to restock. Trying, because he kept losing focus and having to restart. Maybe a break was a good idea and he really did need to speak with Dur. They had to talk about Casi what was to happen going forward. Finding a third member. The war. His head spun with all they had laid before them. Leaving his work behind Cassian left the cave was shocked to find the sun well risen in the sky. It had been dark when he had arrived at the mountain this morning. How long had been trying to work and lost in his thoughts? Shaking his head the spotted stallion emerged fully into the sunlight, the warmth was a welcome caress against his pelt even though it was at odds with how he felt inside. Looking around he saw Dur a little ways down the path. “I am here.” He called to his other friend and then trotted over to meet him, giving the other stallion a weak attempt at his normal smile.
He stood quite for a few heartbeats, wondering what to say. How to say it. “So….” He dragged out the single word the sadness closing in about his chest, “Just the two of us for now..” It felt so wrong not to have Casi here. They didn’t have leaders, all members where equal in the Vigilum but Casi had been the most senior and they most knowledgeable.
Tagged: Sunfrost Muse: Good Words: 459 Notes: I’m not ready for this. *sobs*
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Post by Sunfrost on Jun 2, 2023 18:53:44 GMT -7
I am here. It thankfully did not take long for Cassian’s voice to ring over the mountain, gentle and welcome. Dur turned towards the sound, a smile finally appearing on his face for what felt like the first time in days. His gray eyes rested gently on his friend’s, his fellow Vigilum coming towards him at a steady trot. Dur noticed the sadness in Cassian’s eyes and knew the same was reflected in his. They both smiled at each other, weakly, though Dur felt his smile strengthen as Cassian approached and joined him. Dur’s mouth felt dry, though, as though he didn’t know what to say or how to express what he wanted to. Why was this uncomfortable? Why couldn’t he speak? The bay draft mix almost never struggled with what to say…and he found he didn’t like the sensation of being robbed of his eloquence very much at all.
So…just the two of us for now. Dur held in his sigh of relief, not wanting Cassian to misinterpret it. Finally, someone had broken the silence, and it hadn’t needed to be him. The older Vigilum shifted, as though a weight that had been pressing down upon him was lifted off from his shoulders. For some reason, the silence that surrounded them didn’t feel as oppressive anymore. All that needed to happen was someone saying something. Rather than let the silence take root again, Dur spoke. Yes…just us he responded, his words quieter than they usually were, his gaze fixed on the horizon in front of him. I’m…glad he added, not wanting that to be the only thing he said. Glad that you’re here. There’s still us. He tried a smile then, though he knew it was weak, meeting his spotted friend’s eyes before looking away again.
We will need more than us because of the war, though he neighed, mind turning to how they were going to get through the next few months – or years, for all he knew. Time meant nothing to the Afterlife. They could fight for as long as they wanted, with none of it truly mattering to them. On the mortal plane, however, they would age…and conflict would become embedded in generations. Maybe even an apprentice, once we find a third member…my son, Ruse is too young to contribute. Ruse was barely even a yearling, and was often wandering with his mother, Esalu. Dur would have to get him to spend a bit more time on the Mount, learning what he could about herbs and healing over the following years before Dur retired. How are you, though, Cassian? he neighed, wanting to change the subject from everything clouding his mind. He didn’t want to dwell on unhappy things. He’d rather they talked, heart to heart, and not of politics and healing for a bit.
tagged// Pippin notes// Too sad
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Post by Pippin on Jun 18, 2023 14:55:22 GMT -7
Cassian Yes…just us Dur responded quickly, as if he didn't want the quite to linger and Cassian could understand that. His friend continued, speaking a more hushed tone than normal. I’m…glad Glad that you’re here. There’s still us. Cassian returned the weak smile Dur offered, his a little stronger this time. "I am glad for that as well." He didn't know what he would do if Dur had left so suddenly as well. But the older stallion spoke truth that for now they had each other, that was one think that for the moment would not change. He was discovering more and more that he did not like change, at least not the sudden painful changes that seemed to plague his steps. He had hoped nasty surprises had been something he had left in the past. But life always had a way of showing you up. We will need more than us because of the war, though Durs voice pulled Cassian away from the thoughts that risked dragging him down in an inescapable whirlpool. Yes, the two of them could not do this alone. Not before and epically not now with the afterlife war. Dur was still speaking and Cassian fought to latch onto the words to not let his mind dwell on all the bad right now. Maybe even an apprentice, once we find a third member…my son, Ruse is too young to contribute.
An apprentice. Cassian had also had such a thought, but his mind snagged on the mention of Durs son. Dur was much older than Cassian, he would most likely retire before he himself did. The fear of losing Dur was a sudden and shocking terror in his heart. Don't be silly, he scolded himself, the boy is much too young and Dur won't be leaving for a long time yet. He shock his head and nodded "Yes.." He spoke but his voice fell flat and he cleared his throat and tried again. "Yes an apprentice would be a very good idea." That way if the time ever came that they where short a member again someone would be ready to fill the void. Maybe they should have been looking for an apprentice well before now, but no one could have seen this loss coming. "Even if your son is still too young you should bring him around the mountain some time, let him see and learn as he grows." He offered another smile, this one stronger than before. He really did want to meet Durs son.How are you, though, Cassian? Dur asked, shifting the conversation away from work and Cassian was suspired to be glad about the change. "Well besides feeling sad about Casi I am mostly well." He answered and then on a whim continued speaking. "I've been feeling lonely lately... Like I keep trying to find someone who is..." He trailed off embarrassed now for speaking but knowing he couldn't leave the words half spoke. "A mate.. someone to love and be loved by but... I don't think there is someone like that for me. I keep making connections and then... nothing." He let out a sad sigh and shook his head. "How about you? How are you?" Tagged: SunfrostMuse: Good Words: 535 Notes: <3 Image by Fleur-De-Liason
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Post by Sunfrost on Jun 26, 2023 2:44:57 GMT -7
Cassian seemed to draw some strength from Dur’s attempts at being strong, for which the older Vigilum was grateful. He, in turn, found himself growing stronger as well, happier, from Cassian’s mood lifting. It was funny, how two horses otherwise miserable could help each other feel better simply by exuding positivity towards each other. I am glad for that as well. Dur’s smile strengthened, a sense of rightness settling back into place for the first time since Casi had left their order. Unfortunately, thoughts of the war never strayed far from his mind, and such was the case now as Dur mentioned it, and how they would need to replace Casi sooner rather than later. The thought of replacing Casi…Dur knew the brand had likely already faded from Casi’s skin when he had made the decision to leave, and that this truly wasn’t as much about replacing as finding a new member, but it stung. The words needed to be said, though.
Cassian spoke, agreeing, but his tone flat. Dur suppressed a flinch, worried suddenly for Cassian. He’d never heard the horse sound so…emotionless, before, so defeated. Cassian said a few more words, agreeing with the idea of finding an apprentice, his tone a bit more alive, and Dur found himself relaxing slightly at the tone. He hadn’t liked hearing Cassian sound so…dead. The tone did not fit the younger Vigilum. Duramus made a note to himself to carefully watch Cassian in the months to come. They would have to take care of each other, recover from this news, and bring a new Vigilum back into their ranks. Hopefully a proper candidate would appear as they needed him or her, and a candidate for apprentice as well. Cassian added that even if Dur’s son was too young, he should come around the mountain and see how things were. A smile broke out on Dur’s face at the thought. I will! I’d love for you to meet him, actually. He spends a lot of time wandering with his mother, which is why he hasn’t come around yet. I’ll bring him he promised, excited at the thought. It was about time Ruse got to know the mountain, after all.
Dur asked Cassian then how he was – said, of course, but mostly well. Lonely. He seemed embarrassed to admit it, as though wanting a mate was something to be embarrassed about. He sounded sad and ashamed. Dur made a soft sound of understanding. It took me a while to find Esalu…she’s over twenty years old, and I’m almost twenty he confessed. That’s most of our lives. Sometimes it just takes time, and circumstance. You’ll find a mate, Cassian. It’ll happen one day. He privately added “Find Cassian a mate” to his private to-do list…he’d love to find someone who would care for Cassian, and who Cassian would in turn care for. Cassian certainly deserved happiness. I’m okay…sad about Casi as well, but determined to get through this war and bring the Vigilum through intact. Though I worry sometimes about not appearing as impartial as we’d like. It’s hard to keep being seen as impartial in times of war, when we will help both sides equally, and both will likely be insulted by it he confessed. It was…complicated. They couldn’t NOT help, but they couldn’t help how it would be perceived.
tagged// Pippin notes// He literally might start searching for a mate for Cassian LOL
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Post by Pippin on Sept 3, 2023 10:04:00 GMT -7
Cassian I will! I’d love for you to meet him, actually. He spends a lot of time wandering with his mother, which is why he hasn’t come around yet. I’ll bring him Cassian smiled at the response. He knew that Dur had most likely caught the drop of his voice and the panicked emotion that had oven taken him for a heartbeat. But the older Vigilum did not comment on it. For which Cassian was grateful. How was he supposed to say 'The thought of you bringing on your son as an apprentice fills me with dread of the inevitable passage and time thus the changing of all things.'? Well of course he would have no choice but to just say it, since he could not lie. But still, he wasn't ready for that conversation. Granted he wasn't too thrilled about this topic either but he felt more ready to be vulnerable about this than the other topic. He had brought it up after all. It took me a while to find Esalu…she’s over twenty years old, and I’m almost twenty That’s most of our lives. Sometimes it just takes time, and circumstance. You’ll find a mate, Cassian. It’ll happen one day. He didn't know how he felt about the possibility of having to wait a lifetime to find that kind of love. On one hoof he knew you could not rush connections like he was so desperately seeking. But on the other hoof he was certain if he didn't at least start seeing positive results to his seeking he was very likely to just give up. "I hear you..." He said, and let out a long sigh before forging ahead with his words, "But I don't know how much rejection my soul can take before it does finely happen." He found it so hard to open up to others and then when hurt after hurt resulted he was slowly withdrawing back in old habits of just locking everyone out, no matter what. He sighed again.
I’m okay…sad about Casi as well, but determined to get through this war and bring the Vigilum through intact. Though I worry sometimes about not appearing as impartial as we’d like. It’s hard to keep being seen as impartial in times of war, when we will help both sides equally, and both will likely be insulted by it He nodded his head, it was up to both of them to make sure the Vigilum didn't fall. To prove they could remain natural in a time when everyone was looking for support. "It's going to be hard." He agreed, "If we do succeed in being completely impartial, we will possibly end up making both sides our enemies by the end of this war." This war would be their biggest test. "I think we need speak with both Utopia and Underworld leadership, and soon." Tagged: Sunfrost Muse: OkayWords: 477Notes: Sorry for making you wait for this reply. Image by Fleur-De-Liason
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Post by Sunfrost on Sept 29, 2023 6:03:00 GMT -7
Duramus nickered softly as Cassian admitted that he understood where Dur was coming from, but was unsure how much rejection he could take before something happened. It was all the bay Vigilum could do to avoid giving Cassian a good headbutt of affection or a gentle nudge to ground him. I cannot imagine a soul rejecting you he neighed softly, gray eyes looking elsewhere, sensing Cassian’s discomfort and wanting to relieve him of some of the attention of it by looking away. This worked a lot with horses who felt uncomfortable, at least from what Dur had found and seen so far. He hoped it would help Cassian feel more at ease, too. For those who have…true happiness would not have been found with them. Your mate will come. Dur added finding said mate to the top of his list, after all of his Vigilum duties. They all deserved happiness. He also made a note to definitely get Ruse and bring him to the Mount…it was past due for him to meet Cassian.
Dur listened as Cassian agreed that it was going to be hard, and that impartiality could make an enemy of both sides before the end of the war. As a result, Cassian felt they needed to speak with the Lords and Ladies of Utopia and the Underworld, and soon. Dur agreed whole-heartedly and had already been thinking along similar lines. I hope we don’t make an enemy of all by being a friend of none, but we don’t necessarily have control over that he neighed, tone thoughtful. Speaking with Afterlife leadership is a good first step, but what else can we do after that? Can we hold summits? Get those not of the Afterlife who are feuding to make peace with each other? What incentives can we possibly offer them for doing so? Peace for the sake of peace was a Vigilum concept, and exceedingly rare. All of the kingdoms and the groups had their own motivations and goals. They wouldn’t set those goals aside for the sake of peace.
I am happy to speak with the Underworld, if you would like to speak with Utopia he offered. You still live in Omashu, right? I don’t want the Underworld thinking you are biased because you make your home in the Light Kingdom, even though to my knowledge the Light Kingdom has not yet picked a side. That could change at any moment, though. Keeping up with the news these days had proven absolutely critical, but difficult beyond belief. Between the two of them, there was too much to do.
tagged// Pippin notes// no worries! and I really will bring Ruse around at some point // go on a mate hunt for Cassian haha. Poor guy <3
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Post by Pippin on Jan 20, 2024 22:49:13 GMT -7
Cassian I cannot imagine a soul rejecting you he neighed softly For those who have…true happiness would not have been found with them. Your mate will come. Cassian considered Dur's words about rejection, finding comfort in the idea that true happiness wouldn't have been found with those who rejected him. A faint smile played on his lips, appreciating his friends attempt to ease his discomfort. "You're right, Dur. I'll try to be patient and not lose hope," Cassian replied, a genuine warmth in his hazel eyes.As they discussed the challenges of maintaining impartiality during the war, Dur brought up the idea of holding summits and encouraging feuding parties to make peace. I hope we don’t make an enemy of all by being a friend of none, but we don’t necessarily have control over that Speaking with Afterlife leadership is a good first step, but what else can we do after that? Can we hold summits? Get those not of the Afterlife who are feuding to make peace with each other? What incentives can we possibly offer them for doing so? Cassian nodded in agreement, realizing truly for the first time the complexity of their task. "It won't be easy, but we can try to facilitate communication and understanding. As for incentives, perhaps we can appeal to their shared interests, emphasizing the benefits of peace for both sides. We might need to act as mediators, finding common ground and fostering cooperation," Cassian suggested, contemplating the intricate dance they were about to engage in and wondering what if anything would satisfy the Underworld in a bid for peace. I am happy to speak with the Underworld, if you would like to speak with Utopia You still live in Omashu, right? I don’t want the Underworld thinking you are biased because you make your home in the Light Kingdom, even though to my knowledge the Light Kingdom has not yet picked a side. Dur's offer to speak with the Underworld while suggesting that Cassian handle Utopia resonated with him. "Yes, I still reside in Omashu. I'll make arrangements to speak with the Utopian leadership and convey our commitment to neutrality. It's crucial to maintain trust on both fronts. I also wonder if the Light Kingdom might support us in seeking peace since it does seem like they are remaining natural." Cassian responded, appreciating Dur's strategic thinking. He wondered at the Light Kingdoms decision to not pick a side. Why? The spotted stallion took a moment to gaze at the expansive landscape around them, the weight of their responsibilities sinking in. "We've faced challenges before, and together, we've overcome them. I believe we can navigate these turbulent times as well. Let's do our best for the Vigilum and for the realms we serve," Cassian said, determination flickering in his eyes. Tagged: Sunfrost Muse: Decent Words: 466Notes: <3 Image by Fleur-De-Liason
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Post by Sunfrost on Feb 2, 2024 18:38:58 GMT -7
You’re right, Dur. I’ll try to be patient and not lose hope. Dur nickered warmly in thanks and encouragement, hoping that his words had indeed helped Cassian feel better. Concurrently, the Vigilum stallion mentally sketched out what kind of horse he’d try to find for Cassian. The mare would need to be gentle, loving, supportive of Cassian’s diplomatic duties and position as a Vigilum, understanding of his need to be unbiased, non-judgmental…the list seemed endless, but Dur resolved himself to try. No horse deserved an amazing mate more than Cassian. Dur was determined to be the one to find the mare and make this happen. Said mare would have no idea how lucky she was to have Cassian, at least until she met him and realized it.
Duramus brought up summits and their potential drawbacks and benefits, and listened keenly as Cassian commented how it wouldn’t be easy, but their job was to facilitate communication and understanding. Dur agreed, sharply nodding as Cassian continued to describe incentives, such as laying out shared interests, emphasizing how peace benefits everyone, and acting appropriately as mediators. I agree. I just hope we can actually bring all parties involved to the table…maybe if they end up in a stalemate, where neither side is winning? Though I suppose we should also plan for what it means if one side wins the war… He trailed off at the thought, gray eyes turning to the sky in contemplation. If one side won, would their position of neutrality be compromised? Would it even be allowed, as the barometer shifted in the direction of whichever side won? Duramus was used to things being relatively balanced around Wild Equines. The idea of them becoming unbalanced…it made him uneasy.
The bay draft mix listened to see how Cassian would react to his suggestion about who they each should talk with. He nodded as his fellow Vigilum confirmed that he still lived in Omashu and would speak with Utopia soon, though he also pondered how the Light Kingdom might support them in this endeavor as well. That’s an interesting idea he commented, intrigued. The Light Kingdom would, theoretically, be aligned with Utopia, but they had chosen not to be. And as far as Duramus knew, the Versai remained relatively neutral as well. Meanwhile, the Dark Kingdom and the Helkaer had chosen to align with the Underworld. Interestingly, it was the Neutral Kingdom that was professedly more Utopian in nature. Duramus wondered what that said about the meaning of alliances and presumptions.
Duramus smiled as Cassian affirmed that they would be able to do anything together, and they should do their best. He leaned forward, touching his nose lightly to Cassian’s shoulder in one of his relatively rare displays of physical affection – he was usually much better with his words – but no words could adequately explain the depth of his agreement with Cassian’s commitment. They would do their best, as they always had and always would.
tagged// Pippin notes// I think one more reply from you to end it? I've LOVED this thread!
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