[Deleted]

[atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,false][atrb=border,1,true][atrb=width,500,true] [atrb=background,http://i43.tinypic.com/10dfe6w.jpg,true] SEMPITERNAL

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Name- Sempiternal
Breed- Andalusian x Welsh Cob x Mustang
Age- 3
Gender- Stallion
Height- 16hh
Alliance- Light
Health- 100%

Sometimes in life one had to take something from another to give a better prize to a different individual. In this case, an empire was to lose its queen in order for another empire to gain her as a gift and segue into the ranks of their alliances. It was not going to be easy for Sempiternal to do this. There was a high chance that he would not exit this scheme in one piece. And he wasn't even talking about the battle that was ahead of him for the day. Just the simple thought of entering a dark land such as the one he wanted to forge a red hot alliance with sent the color draining from his frame. It would be incredibly easy for the matriarch of the dark territory to cut his throat and let him drain out just the same. If that was his end, he would accept the scythe blades at the tips of her flints. Sempiternal could be judged with the minor pride that he had spoken to such a deviless at least once. At least, that's what he could wish for if she gutted him. She didn't necessarily have to speak to him to kill him, did she?

The minx he was challenging for ownership of was Reth, the empress of Dark Woods. It was common knowledge to the public, and to anyone that knew Necropolis, that Carnevale Letale and Dark Woods were not friends. So what gift would be more satisfying and appealing to the organization, that piqued his interests more, than a key figure in their enemy's territory? Although, Necropolis could name her charge and she would receive it if it did not kill the russet and ebony beast first. He could still send it her way even if he was then being sent through purgatory though. Sempiternal wasn't the type to accept defeat well, if at all, and death was the only acceptable excuse for failure. The unholy queen already governed his life in unclear ways that would eventually be revealed to the public. But not today. Soon, cracked labrums curled back in disgust at the smallest thought of failing his personally designed mission. Perhaps failure was not an option and death was not a viable excuse now.

Golden spheres rolled in a hostile manner in their sockets as ebony dipped stilts rose and fell in long strides, carrying the beast toward the battle field. Muscles were sewn into every plane and curve of his masculine frame as he galloped easily. Pelvis and blades rolled in smooth succession like the guillotine blades in a mass execution while the shadowy russet and obsidian czar propelled himself faster. Ebony tendrils slashed at the invisible atmospheric currents around his frame in violent motions and oxygen soon became scarce in his lungs before his paper thins flared further, struggling to gulp down adequate amounts of air to feed the sinews' demand.

Crooked and cruel thoughts began to race through his think box as he continued his drive forward. His think box was a wreck, he couldn't slow his thinking processes down long enough to even recognize what he was thinking. Anxiety crept through his veins and a shadow flew overhead, sending his voids rolling and his knives striking at the atmospheric currents in a vicious aggression instead of fear. It had only been a song bird flitting away to another tree. Sempi snarled under his breath in frustration as another shift in his thoughts began to overcome him. His thoughts were changing and the shift was coming with a wrecking ball attached to it. A sharp toss of his jeweled crown suddenly silenced his think box before a wave of new scrutinizing thoughts crashed into his brain pan.

He could not fail this operation. Failure was NOT acceptable and he would demand Blackavar or Caidas to send him back to mortal earth to carry it out if he foolishly chose to die. There was too much on the line. He was holding a key pawn piece between these two territories in this scheme and the results could spin their fates in a beneficial or disadvantaging direction depending on the victor. If he was the winner, he was sure that Necropolis would allow him into the ranks of their alliances even though he was already on her good side. This would further push him up into her sights though. He wouldn't be just some lowly soldier on her list. His arrogance would voice that he was doing her a favor by wanting to ship her enemy to her front door but his softer humility refuted that statement quickly. Necropolis could do as she pleased to anyone she so chose. If she really wanted to fuck with Dark Woods, she would have ripped the territory apart by the blood roots. They were lucky she had yet to do that although he didn't put it past her fragile emotional state for her to fly off the handle soon.

The sixteen hand baron soon came upon the cracked and rough terrain of the battle field and his hind end dropped toward the unforgiving earth as he slid to an abrupt halt. Charcoal scalpels scraped at the earth before a sharp exhale was forced from his lungs and into the atmosphere. The blowing audio created an echo throughout the shallow valley of the empty battle field. Hm, well, where was his opponent? Late to a battle was never proper manners in Sempi's book. The monarch didn't have all day to spend here though.

muse | good
status | complete
word count | 920
notes | none
tags | for ebon & reth
music | circle of tyrants - opeth
conditions | 2 hits, 1 dodge, 300 word minimum, 5 days to reply.

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[+ ebonite +]

reth

Name- Reth
Breed- Appaloosa x Andalusian x Arabian x Thoroughbred x Quarter Horse
Age- Six
Gender- Female
Height- 16 hands
Alliance- Unallianced
Health- 100%

When she had left Wild Equines it had been for purely selfish reasons. It wasn't as if she didn't like her father and his family, but she had felt the calling toward greener pastures outside of Wild Equines. Lashka had still been young at the time and Reth had figured the outside experience would be good for her little girl. The years outside of her birth home had been good ones. Relaxing and refreshing. It had been just her and her little family. Reth never said it much, but being around the entirety of her family tree was disconcerting and she often didn't know what to say to them. Not to mention one of her half brothers had nearly raped her. She snorted. That wasn't a particularly shining example when it came to her extended family. Still, it was good to be home. It seemed she'd arrived just in time, too. She knew that her father had been getting old when she had left, but now that she was back, it was evident that he wasn't as fit a ruler as he used to be. The whole drama with Schism sounded traumatic and she was a little glad that she hadn't been around for the whole ordeal. After she heard that he was taking up the crown again, she'd immediately volunteered herself - and to an extent, Spike - to take the crown for him. Even he knew that he was getting too old to run the herd any longer and had been grateful, though his gratitude had been partially concealed by his pride. Pride was an interesting thing - something that Reth didn't really have a grasp of. Confidence was one thing, pride was another.

It was a long trek from Dark Woods to the Battlegrounds, but Reth occupied the time with composing different battle strategies. She didn't know many things about this stag - only that he was the same height as her, claimed to be a Light, and intended to sell her as some sort of prize to the highest bidder. Perhaps she should have expected it, being the Queen now, but she hadn't expected it to happen so soon. She'd barely sat on the throne a week before this Light decided to whisk her away. Lateralus had been far from happy and Spike even less so. However, she'd insisted on fighting the battle herself. Not only would it hone her fighting skills, but it would also further prove herself as Queen. She knew that a lot of the herd members didn't know who she was - mostly due to the amount of drama and mild chaos going on at the moment - and this would make herself known. She did not care for this stallion or his motives. His antics bored her. The only thing she wanted out of this fight was a good collection of battle scars and a victory to take home. If she did lose, then she would honor her end of the bargain and go where ever this stallion wanted her. Likely a darker and edgier land that sought to provoke and start some petty revenge plot. Which also bored her. Why waste time with revenge when one could further their own lives?

Despite the chill in the air, it wasn't a bad day. The sun was shining and Reth could hear birds calling out to one another in the sparse trees that grew on the edge of the Battlegrounds. The land here was barren, the grass scuffed and torn from frequent fights, and the littering of various bones giving it an appropriate desert feel. Idly, Reth wondered how many horses had died here, fighting for their causes. However, she was not worried about becoming one of them. This was not a battle to the death. She cantered farther into the borders of the Battlegrounds. She could smell the scent of her opponent not too far away. She followed it until she could see his figure illuminated by the weak winter sun. He was bay, as tall as she was, not particularly draft-like. He clearly had some Andalusian lines in him by his build. She leaned more toward the Quarter Horse and Thoroughbred in her lines, resembling her mother's more stocky build rather than her father's Arabian features.

The grullo vixen faced Sempiternal and she gave him a short nod of courtesy. Although she had no interest in him, he had decided to challenge for her and therefore she could afford to pay him the respect an opponent deserved. Reth was not so arrogant as to underestimate her opponents nor did she seek to belittle them while raising her own status. This would be a good clean fight and whoever won would be allowed to gloat over their victory. Until then, Reth would treat him as an equal.

She did not waste time with words. This was a day for battle, not banter. As it was, she didn't have much use for speech anyway. The two of them knew what the terms were and she had no interest in spitting out some insult like an ill-minded infant. Arguments were for children. Without further introduction, Reth quickly scanned her spheres across the frame of her opponent, calculating where his point of weakness would be. His shoulders were broad and well-muscled, as well as the arch of his nape. His legs were less so, but still battle-trained. His face would be an ideal target and although the dangers of her being bitten in return was strong, wounding him in the eye or breaking his jaw would be a definite game-changer. However, his legs were also a point of weakness, as a broken bone, or even a limp would greatly inhibit a counter attack. During her analyzing, Reth had begun to pace in a bit of a half circle. Standing still during a battle was unwise and left one prone to a surprise attack. Even while deep in thought, Reth would still have enough momentum to try to move out of the way as opposed to if she was standing still.

Abruptly, Reth dug her back hooves into the ground and launched herself at Sempiternal. Her pistons lashed out at his face, aiming to tear any flesh they could reach before she twisted herself around and aimed a last kick for his jawline. She completed the turn in a cloud of dust and other matter, her shoulders tense and her legs rigid and prepared for his counter attack. She had tried to make sure none of her back had been exposed for too long while she had been spinning and hoped that it had been effective. Her opticals scanned his face for any signs of damage, waiting with baited breath for any blood to appear.

muse great
count 1125
notes so, if sempiternal wins, he gets reth and if reth wins he can never challenge for her again? sound good?
hits one two
dodges one
attack front legs tried to slash his face before she spun around and attempted to injure his jaw with a kick from her back legs.

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[Deleted]

[atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,false][atrb=border,1,true][atrb=width,500,true] [atrb=background,http://i43.tinypic.com/10dfe6w.jpg,true] SEMPITERNAL

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Name- Sempiternal
Breed- Andalusian x Welsh Cob x Mustang
Age- 3
Gender- Stallion
Height- 16hh
Alliance- Light
Health- 80% - broken nasal bone/bridge of his nose & abrasion over his right eye that split his eye lid in two

Ashen gray streams of winter sunlight trickled through the shifting clouds above the horizon and a chilly burst of air rushed past the beast with sharp needle pricks into his pores. Hypodermic needle points etched across his flesh and his sinews flexed instinctively against the frigid air. Ebony rimmed satellites swiveled and honed in on every possible direction in search of the empress' audible movements.

Soon enough, the divinity filth herself arose upon the horizon in swift motions toward him. It was a shame in his spheres. An unallianced witch ruling over a supposedly dark land? Where was their true leader? Where was their devil master? Now granted, he did not believe that every dark alive had to be shooting daggers with every stare and exhale caustic lyrics with every breath but, a hint of the shadows were nice. However, it wasn't his land to criticize but that didn't mean he couldn't remove the weakest link and allow better things to happen. In his opinion, he was helping them out. It was a dark land. Why would it be ruled by anyone other than that? It just didn't make sense to him.

Then the question of what he was going to do with such a creature if he ended up with her arose. It was simple. If anyone in Wild Equines had the gift of eavesdropping, they knew that Dark Woods was not liked by a particular dark land. If he could successfully get a hold of Reth and then hand her over to her enemy, would that not whet Necropolis' appetite for his services as her spy? Yes, the young czar was in cahoots with one of the most influential lands in Wild Equines. Would karma eventually catch up to him over this? Probably so. But for now, the lead of Gray Pine Valley would do his best to play his cards right. With Necropolis as the dealer, he was putting all of his chips in on this one just as he would go all in for anything else he would do for her.

The shadowed beast let his conditioned frame steel up in apprehension for her attack as the minx began to directly charge toward him. She had given a curt nod before beginning to display her investments in strategies and war tactics. He did not have any personal quarrels with her beyond this and he was not here to bring her to her knees in agony and suffering. A few lacerations would be sufficient for this skirmish. It would be a shame for him to offer Necropolis a gift that was already torn up and needing mending. The deviless suddenly sank back on her hocks and rose up toward his crown with her long feminine limbs. However, her maneuvers were far from lady like. If he had not been aware that she was a female, he would have presumed her to be a stud from her prompt gesture to take a crack at his skull.

Sempiternal rose upon ebony dipped hind limbs as well and met her half way but she held more power behind her assault than his defense. Wide flints clawed for the thin flesh of his cranium and he snarled as soon as one of her flint edges caught the bridge of his muzzle. The marrow that protected his nasal passages easily cracked and splintered beneath the force and power behind her striking flints. Blood soon began to pour from his paper thins and slowly dripped to the ground. It felt like there was whirlwinds of fire inside his sinus passages now. In response to her hit, his own knives struck out toward her blades and fore limbs as they continued thrashing at his crown and he took another blow to his skull. This time a flint of the queen's left a nasty abrasion over his right golden sphere and through the thin film of flesh of his eye lid. Golden spheres rolled skyward in their sockets for protection and he ripped away from the minx in blinding pain. Tears ran down from the corner of his voids in a natural attempt to free his visionaries of the grit and grime that had been on her flints. A sharp shake of his skull hurt like hell but he had to so he could see better. Daggers touched back down on the ground and ebony stilts carried him in a circle around the minx as he slowly cleared his vision. Russet plumes of dust began to rise from the battle ground floor around her and temporarily masked her from him.

When he thought he was near her right flank, he suddenly lunged for her top line with bared enamels and thrashing flints in an attempt to crash his weight upon her spine or even into her side. Enamels snapped together repeatedly and flints thrashed and struck out as until he was on solid ground again. The sixteen hand stag departed from the dust cloud and whirled around to protect his own spine. Harks swiveled rapidly in all directions in an attempt to figure out where the minx was now as the dust began to settle in his wake. He had no idea if he had dealt any damage to her at all. He hoped so, at least for the sake of winning. It wasn't fair if he was the only one to go home with trophies upon his hide.

muse | bad
status | complete
word count | 899
notes | yes that's fine.
tags | for ebon & reth
music | bone palace ballet album - chiodos
conditions | 2 hits, 1 dodge, 300 word minimum, 5 days to reply.
attacks | 1. struck at her chest and fore limbs 2. tried to lunge/jump onto her back/side and tried to kick and bite her in the process of doing that. no attacks left.
dodges | no dodges used.

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[+ ebonite +]

reth

Name- Reth
Breed- Appaloosa x Andalusian x Arabian x Thoroughbred x Quarter Horse
Age- Six
Gender- Female
Height- 16 hands
Alliance- Unallianced
Health- 80% - has a large gash upon her left flank, several other small lacerations along her barrel and significant bruising

Between the adrenaline coursing through her veins and the pounding of her own heart, Reth did not notice that she had narrowly escaped the thrashing of Sempiternal's flints at her chest and forelegs. She involuntarily sneezed as the cloud of dust worked its way into her nostrils, but quickly shook her head and recovered from it in time to see the Light stallion thrashing in pain. Blood dripped from his nares and a nasty laceration cut through the flesh above his right eye. Reth was pleased that her attacks had made an impact on the stag, but she did not betray her feelings with even a single curve of her lip. She had not won yet and then and only then would she celebrate. Winning was quite important to her - though admittedly, not as important as it was to him, she supposed. If she won this battle, she would get to return home and resume what she was supposed to be doing. Sempiternal would then have to report to whomever he was trading her off to that he had failed and she guessed that they would not be pleased with his answer. She figured that the highest bidder was Carnevale Letale, seeing as they would be the ones most interested in the Queen of Dark Woods. The runner up to that spot would probably be Romeo himself. Reth did not understand why this Light stallion wanted to become friends with either of them, considering both of them had expressed hatred toward the Light alliance. It seemed like a fruitless task, but she could do nothing if this stallion was determined to cement an alliance between them. It was just inconvenient that she had to be the bargaining chip.

She was glad that he had not said a word to her during their very brief introduction. Any insults or petty psychological games to unnerve her would go unnoticed and unanswered. She had taken note that he had not returned the nod she'd given to him in the beginning of the battle, but she figured that was more out of planning a defense than a lack of respect. She had judged him a worthy opponent and the least he could do was afford her the same courtesy. She tossed her skull briefly to rid it of the thoughts clouding her brain and instead focused upon when the stallion would chose to attack next. The adrenaline laced in her blood made every second feel like an eternity - every moment of the battle was crisp and drawn out in exquisite clarity and detail. The blinking of her orbs sounded like the crash of a thunder clap and her breathing was like the howling winds of a squall. She glanced left and right, her muscles still rigid in anticipation. The dust made it difficult to see and Reth wished that the two of them had chosen a better spot with less debris.

Her harks pricked as she picked up the sound of approaching hoof beats, but the dust in the air made it difficult to determine where Sempiternal was coming from. There were several exposed parts of her body that he could aim for. Would he lunge for her face as she had done, or would he aim lower and decide that her legs were an easier, better target? Time seemed to stretch on, but when the bay hued beast sprung forth, it suddenly seemed too fast. His ivories were bared and his knives lashed forward, aiming for her flank. Reth tensed and tried to escape, but it was a moment too late.

Agony exploded in her brain as her flesh tore beneath his ivories. Great clots of blood trickled down her stifle and along the curve of her leg. His lashing pistons cracked at her ribcage and left significant bruises and small lacerations of their own. His entire frontal weight crashed into her side then, sending her staggering to the point where she had to take giant steps in order to prevent herself from falling over. She managed to keep her balance after several seconds and settled back down into her position to assess the damage. The leaps she had taken had increased the flow of blood. Her biggest injury was a large bite taken out of her flank, very near to the stretch of skin and muscle that connected her leg to her back. The flesh had been torn clean by Sempiternal's teeth, exposing the softer tissues and muscle underneath. Reth didn't know how deep it was, but it was still bleeding heavily. In addition to that, his hooves had made several other lacerations along the outer part of her barrel. The cuts were not deep and bled sluggishly. Already the flesh around them was hot and swollen from the bruising. The fact that his weight had smashed into the wounded area had not helped either and Reth factored in that she might have a bruised rib or two.

She said nothing to remark on the injuries she'd sustained, neither swearing aloud in pain or cursing the stallion's name. It was pointless when injury was to be expected. Instead, she focused on planning another counter attack. By now, Sempiternal had had enough time to recover from his attack, so she had lost the element of surprise. She began to walk slowly, testing her pain tolerance and how much damage she'd done. She winced and gritted her teeth against the pain, as her leg muscles tugged at the torn flesh and bruised areas. With a look of grim acceptance, she realized that the injuries she'd received had greatly compromised her ability to attack. Any sudden movement could injure her further, but she didn't see another option. Trying to both steel herself and mentally stimulate her adrenaline, she began to pace again, fueling her thoughts with images of Spike and their daughter. If she lost this, she would have to leave them behind and no doubt Spike would start a cycle of revenge that would ultimately be no good for anyone. She could not leave her daughter behind, even if she was well old enough to take care of herself. Her herd needed her to be strong and the way she could do that would be to win this and prove herself worthy enough to call herself a Queen.

With a sharply inhaled breath, Reth abruptly launched herself at Sempiternal, this time aiming for one of his legs, reaching out with her ivories to crunch down into lean tissue. She tried to wheel backward as fast as she had come forward, but came to a halt when her leg nearly gave way. She squeezed her eyes shut against the involuntary tears pooling against the backs of her eyes as the pain became blinding. She opened them again, exhaling the breath she'd been holding and turned back to study the injuries once more. Her abrupt movement had caused the bite wound to open further and it continued to bleed. The cuts had stopped, but they stung fiercely in the open air. She turned back to face Sempiternal, straightening herself out as much as she could manage. There would be time to clean the wounds later. Right now, she was waiting to see how this ended.

muse good
count 1205
notes none
hits one two
dodges one
attacks rushed at him and attempted to bite his right front leg with her teeth
status finished

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[Deleted]

[atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,false][atrb=border,1,true][atrb=width,500,true] [atrb=background,http://i43.tinypic.com/10dfe6w.jpg,true] SEMPITERNAL

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Name- Sempiternal
Breed- Andalusian x Welsh Cob x Mustang
Age- 3
Gender- Stallion
Height- 16hh
Alliance- Light
Health- 70% - broken nasal bone/bridge of his nose, abrasion over his right eye that split his eye lid in two & bone bruise on his left hock joint

Once the dust began to settle, he realized in a vague and fleeting thought that he had failed to return her polite gesture. How rude of him to ignore a lady's politeness. Even in his bloodied and pained glory at this point, Sempiternal was not absent of pleasant thought or relative kindness. He was still a light underneath the near Hitler complex and intense desires for murder and malice. Sempiternal was not as vicious and blood thirsty as his brother, Shadow Moses. The king of Gray Pine Valley was perfectly capable of coming to this fight without malice befalling every breath or hatred motivating every stride. He did not hate the empress. He did not particularly want to harm her but it was a necessary evil in war and battles.

His previous actions had determined that there would be a battle regardless if he did not want to hurt her. She was not going to come willingly and this was the only way to fairly take her by force if he would win. If he did win, then he would most likely be much more appealing in Necropolis' sights and perhaps would be allowed greater responsibilities and much more valuable missions. If he lost, he would still be at the bottom of the totem pole where he was currently standing. The reward for his transgressions was not nearly as great as it would be the temptress if she got her enemy without much provoking.

The ebony dipped russet czar began to circle around the dust cloud he had created as he tried to protect himself at all angles if the empress dared to attack him blind just as he had, to her. She had yet to utter a single syllable to him but it was quite fine with him that she had kept it this way. Words were really of no use here at the moment. They both knew the set terms and they had no real personal squabbles to inflict any verbal assaults upon each other. Sempiternal had dealt his double assault and he could no longer attack her but even if he could, he did not feel the need to tear her apart like a rag doll.

As that thought passed through his think box, the dust finally completely settled and Reth aligned herself up for her next attack. With quick and sharp movements, she lunged for his lower limbs with jaws spread wide ready to splinter vital marrow. Ebony dipped pistons jolted underneath his muscular frame and forcefully propelled his damaged vessel away from her gnashing fangs but, he was not completely successful. Her jaws snapped down on his hock joint which sent pain straight through his spine and slammed into his think box like a sledge hammer from the sheer intensity. The wall of pain caused him to stumble forward and he hobbled away on three sturdy limbs as his fourth limb shot up toward his barrel to alleviate the agony. The bay baron awkwardly limped around into a crooked circle to face her now that their skirmish was through.

"It may seem odd but I apologize for hurting you. I wish you good luck, m'lady." Relatively pleasant tones rolled out in smooth succession as he paused to allow his gaze another once over for her. In all honesty, he was checking to see if she would be safe to make it home to her home land while they waited for the judgements to pass. It was a strange notion for someone who had just basically smacked her around but that's just how he worked.

muse | bad
status | complete
word count | 605
notes | THIS CAN NOW BE JUDGED.
tags | for ebon & reth
music | bone palace ballet album - chiodos
conditions | 2 hits, 1 dodge, 300 word minimum, 5 days to reply.
attacks | 1. struck at her chest and fore limbs 2. tried to lunge/jump onto her back/side and tried to kick and bite her in the process of doing that. no attacks left.
dodges | single dodge used.

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[Deleted]

I will tally.

[Deleted]

Results

Vin playing Sempiternal

Quality Over Quantity - 14
No God Modeling or Powerplaying - 15
Realism of Attack - 14
Attack Compared to Opponent - 14
Completion of Form - 15
Spelling and Grammar - 13
Total - 85 points.

• I thought that the length was perfect. Didn't seem forced. They weren't so short that it seemed hurried but not so overbearingly long, either.
  
• I like the detail put into how Sempiternal took each hit and how it affected him. Some people wouldn't do that for IC reasons, like the character's pride.
  
• The attacks were very realistic. The second attack was pretty cool, though. ;]
  
• Sempiternal's attacks seemed to have more "oomph!" than Reth's, if that makes sense. They seemed to be more purposful.
  
• I ran each post through a grammar/spell checker. Everything was perfect! Good job!
  
• Wonderful writing. My only issue was that when I was reading about the second attack, I actually couldn't figure out what he was trying to do until I read the OOC. So much of the equine vocal was being used for pretty much every other word at this point it kinda took me a couple of tries to read it through to understand.
  
• I liked how rather than just thrashing/flailing he tried to use his body weight to gain an advantage over her.
  
• A couple of run on sentences but otherwise good.
  
• Perfect lenght of posts. Made me excited to go read the next post.
  
• Made me excited to go read the next post. Interesting attacks that came out very well.

Ebon playing Reth

Quality Over Quantity - 15
No God Modeling or Powerplaying - 15
Realism of Attack - 13
Attack Compared to Opponent - 12
Completion of Form - 15
Spelling and Grammar - 14.5
Total - 84.5 points.

• Again, perfect word count, to me. Didn't seem hurried and it didn't seem like you were trying to get more words out.
  
• The thought that went into her initial attack was awesome! It seemed like she was really analyzing and thinking about it before just rushing into battle in a haphazard blur of teeth and claws.
  
• Her second attack seemed a bit weak compared to Sempiternal's.
  
• Again, I ran each post through a grammar/spell checker and everything was perfect.
  
• When it came to the actual battle posts, writing wasn't wasting upon reflecting on her past or anything, as so many role-players do to get more words in. I really liked how the sole focus was the present, the pain she felt, her reaction to him, etc.
  
• I like how she considered his frame and what his points of weakness would be, rather than just attempting to injure wherever
  
• Wanted to read more about how she did the first attack. It was kind of rushed off.

Congrats to Vin with Sempiternal

[Deleted]

Spike will challenge for her in two weeks time.