Life Is But A Dream...
Mad men define what mad is
|
he/she/they
|
15,044 posts
|
points
|
|
|
|
|
|
Moderator
|
Post by fleabittengray on Feb 7, 2014 8:48:14 GMT -7
The light rain has turned into a mild downpour that comes down faster than the sand can absorb and the sky is completely black. There is low visibility and though the ice has mostly melted, leaving behind puddles in the sand, there are still some patches of ice. The rain is cold and the wind has gotten stronger, so be careful rearing. The thunder is loud and thelightning is almost directly overhead. The storm is getting closer. The sand in the center of the ring is where the deeper puddles are. Some of them may be an inch or two deep so be careful where you step. Please include past injuries and somewhere in the notes section please say if you have lost before. Failure to do either of these things will result in loss of points. Remember that you must not go over 1000 words. Two posts each with three days to reply.
@horsehuggr will post first with Skindred and then me Nirvana.
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 8, 2014 11:07:20 GMT -7
The rain was falling in a steady downpour now, but she enjoyed the feel of the cold water. It stung her wounds but it soothed them at the same time, allowing the crusted over blood to be washed clean. Her mahogany bay hide darkened with the rain water, making her almost appear black in coloring. Her lavender eyes scanned the terrain, trying to figure out who exactly would be coming out of the battle arena next. Her previous victory hadn't been an easy one, and at the moment she had a fractured rib and a swollen hock to worry about. She kept her left hind leg raised a bit, trying to keep as much weight off of it as she rested. Her lungs burned each time she took a breath, and it felt like someone was repeatedly hitting her in her ribs and sides. Not only did she have a fractured rib, but she had many small cuts and abrasions on her left side from falling. This time around she would have to be more careful, she couldn't afford to fall again. She glanced up at the sky and a frown crossed her facade. It was completely dark now— this would definitely switch up the scenery. Skindred closed her eyes, allowing herself to focus on her breathing. Her nose was extremely sore with each breath and when she opened her eyes again she noticed that blood had begun to trickle onto the snow again. She fought the urge to curse at the fact that her body was wearing down; after all one could only withstand so much. Suddenly a clatter of hooves against the wet terrain caught her attention and she glanced up, watching as a fellow competitor exited the arena. It was her turn now. She moved forward hesitantly, her hooves feeling out the ground beneath her. The ground was severely wet and there were puddles in different areas, but hidden beneath the sand were even a few ice patches still. Son of a bitch. She cursed quietly to herself as she entered the arena, her occuli being able to catch a quick glimpse of her newest opponent. Her ears naturally pinned tightly against her skull and she eyed them carefully. At seventeen two hands she wasn't a tiny mare by far, but from this distance her nemesis seemed to be much bigger then her. The wind sent a sharp gust of the stranger's scent her way and she recognized it as a stallion, but she wasn't concerned in any way. She tossed her head in order to flick her forelock out of her eyes. The rain was a mild distraction as it spat in her eyes and on her skin. She reached a front hoof forward to paw the slushy sand and let out a snort; meanwhile blood clots spewed from her nasal passages. She would have to maneuver carefully or she would surely upset her injuries even further. She couldn't see her opponent very well at the moment so she was technically going into this blind. Hesitantly she pushed off her hind legs, her left hind hock instantly protesting in the process. Limping a bit she trotted closer, keeping her strides a bit slower. Her hooves splashed through a deep puddle sending mud and water flying, but it also suction cupped her hooves in the process. She wrenched her hooves free and as soon as she got close enough to see the brute she reached out, her ivories bared in an attempt to grab hold of his neck and mane. If she could grab him she wanted to wrench his skin from his hide. She kept her hooves planted as rearing could be pretty tricky, but instead she turned to her right. Leaning forward her hind legs lifted off the ground as she aimed for his left side, her right hind leg sending most of the hits due to her sore left hock. Her hind end didn't stay in the air long though. As soon as her hooves touched back down she slipped and she could feel her legs going every which way. With frustration she bolted forward, slipping on a patch of ice she slid a few feet before coming to a nasty halt in a puddle of mud. She stayed rooted in that spot, her hide quivering from the effort of lifting her hind legs and staying on her feet. She wasn't even sure if she had hit him, the rain was coming down hard enough that she could barely see anything. All she could do was hope and even though she tasted blood she wasn't positive that it was his; after all her nose hadn't stopped bleeding since her previous round. Skindred kept her eyes narrowed to try to see better and grim determination set in. She moved forward again, this time trying to approach the brute from his right side. She kept her eyes glued on him and moved at a careful pace, this time she knew she had to hit him somewhere. Skindred relied solely on her other senses, most distinctly her sense of smell. She could smell his musky scent and careened toward him, her body moving into a quick canter. Her limp was prominent but she pushed through the pain and attempted to slam into his right side. Her front hooves also aimed for his shoulder blade and elbow, hoping to hinder his movement a bit. The second time she landed pain shot through her front legs and she lurched backward. She inhaled a breath of air and moved away from him, putting a bit of distance between them. She knew he would retaliate so she stood tensed and waiting, squinting through the rain for him to come at her. Name• Skindred Breed• Hanoverian Age• 7 years Gender• Mare Height• 17.2 hands Alliance• Dark Mental Health• 100% Physical Health• 45% Record• 3-1 Hits•oo1. Reached out with bared ivories to wrench and tear a piece of his neck and mane. oo2. Turned and kicked out at his left side, hoping to make contact with his ribcage or any other body part. oo3. Came at his right side and aimed to slam into him, also used his body to rear upward for a moment so she could aim her front daggers at his right shoulder blade and elbow in order to try to hinder his movement. Dodges• None Injuries•Round oo1. Lacerations on her front pistons which have scabbed over. Bruised chest and ribs and missing a chunk of skin off of her mane/withers. Round oo2. Raw cheekbone, gaping neck wound by her jugular that bleeds occasionally, small incision on her neck that has scabbed over. Round oo3. Heavy chunk of mane ripped from her body that occasionally bleeds, wound on her ribs that has split open and multiple slash marks there that are bleeding, small gash on her already bruised chest that is bleeding. Round oo4. Bloody nose, fractured rib and sore side, multiple cuts on her left side and ribcage, bruised and swollen left hind hock and a small abrasion on her left cheek bone which is also bruised. Tagged• fleabittengray with Nirvana Notes• Good luck (: Word count• 981 (Just the post not the codes) staff edit: image removed due to not having propper credits on the image. @horsehuggr |
|
|
Life Is But A Dream...
Mad men define what mad is
|
he/she/they
|
15,044 posts
|
points
|
|
|
|
|
|
Moderator
|
Post by fleabittengray on Feb 9, 2014 8:18:27 GMT -7
Name- Nirvana Breed- Percheron x Shire x Frisian x American Saddlebred Age- 3 Gender- xy Height- 19 hh Alliance- Dark Health- 1 - bruised forelegs from deflecting switchblade's attack 2 - tear in his neck on the left about 4 inches long; mild bleeding 3 - left side of his face is bruised 4 - small chunk of skin removed from his right cheek; bleeding has stopped 5 - right side of his neck is heavily bruised making it painful to move his head 6 - bruised chest with a small laceration; bleeding has stopped 7 - chunk ripping out of the left side of his throat; mild bleeding 8 - skin pulled away from his left cheek; bleeding has stopped 9 - bruised stomach on left side Mental: Depression and intermittent explosive disorder
Black eyes belonging to a large behemoth looked around slowly, taking in the darkness. It was evening but it looked closer to midnight because of the heavy black clouds that blocked out any sort of light coming from the sun. This tournament had been going on all day. He was tired and he was sure all the others left were tired as well. He didn't know how many pairs were left to fight in the tournament but he knew the end was near. He wasn't sure how much more his body could take in all of these battles but he was determined not to quit. Only pieces of shit quit. All of those that had quit in the very beginning were worthless. Weak. This was basically like natural selection. Only the strongest would win. So far, he had only lost once which was pretty decent since this was, what, round five now? He was three to one - three wins, one loss. That made him smile and for a moment he almost looked happy. Almost. But then the smile faded into his normal, aggressive facade as he glanced up at the sky, cringing at the pain in his neck.
Rain fell into his eyes and he snorted, blinking the blue flecked orbs rapidly before trotting forward. His forelegs and chest were heavily bruised, making it difficult to move, but he kept his head held high as he entered the arena. Almost immediately, his hooves got stuck in a puddle and he . growled to himself, wrenching them free and snorting. So on top of the battle he also had to worry about goddamn quicksand? Lovely. Grumbling quietly, he approached the center of the arena and stood there, looking for his opponent. It had gotten so dark he could hardly see her but once his eyes locked onto the bay female he refused to let her out of his sight. He took note of her limp and smirked, almost saying some smart ass remark, but she reached for him and he snapped his teeth at her, quickly lifting his head away from her. He hissed in pain from the bruised side of his neck but he didn't have time to think about it as she was suddenly kicking out at him. He sidestepped away but could not stop her hooves from slamming right into his stomach. He let out a whoosh of air, struggling to get his breath back.
By the time he caught his breath, she had run away from him. He sent a glare her way, squinting, and all of a sudden she was coming at him again. He was ready for her this time, though, so when she came at his right side he danced away, pushing forward off his hind daggers and sprinting forward. He got only two strides away before slipping on ice and nearly falling to the ground. Grunting, he righted himself and turned to face her. He pinned his harks back and charged at her, careful to step over the ice he had just stepped on. He went for her left side, running right at her in hopes of pushing her over with his chest. He then turned slightly and kicked out with a hind dagger at her lower hind left leg. He had seen her limping before and he was pretty sure that was the leg that was giving her problems. Pleased with his attack, he danced around her, trying to ignore the pain of his bruised body.
tagged: @horsehuggr w/ skindred words: 586 notes: he has one loss already. good luck!
attacks: 1 - ran into her left side, hoping to knock her over with his chest 2 - kicked out with a hind leg to try and kick her left lower hind leg
dodges: 1 - dodged her grab for his neck/mane 2 - bolted forward to get away from her second attack
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 10, 2014 17:53:30 GMT -7
The rain was becoming a continuous hindrance as she stood contemplating on whether to keep moving or to stay rooted in one spot. Her ears flicked atop her well chiseled skull and she could feel small beads of water rolling down her sides. Water was everywhere. It was rolling down her facade, spitting in her eyes, and gathering in puddles at her hooves. The ground was becoming more treacherous by the second and Skindred knew that she would have to be careful when it came to maneuvering across the terrain. Her ears flicked forward as she tried to get a gauge on where the stallion was at, but by the time her eyes caught a quick glimpse of his monstrous body it was too late. He was close enough that she could reach out and grab him, but it seemed that they were doing a strange tango on the battlefield instead. For his large mass she was surprised that he could move so briskly on his feet, and he managed to evade her first attempt at grasping his neck. Fortunately enough though she felt her hind hooves make solid contact with his body, where she was unsure though. Skindred wanted a bit of space between them now though; she wanted to be able to watch him as best as what she could. When she lurched forward to put a bit of distance between them her hooves slid beneath her, and she instantly fumbled a few feet forward. She was nearly brought to her knees with the slide but miraculously she was able to stay standing by sheer willpower. By this time she hadn't paid attention to Nirvana's location and soon enough he was upon her. The contact of his broad chest with her fractured rib was enough to make her see splashes of color in front of her eyes, and her breath came in a shattered gasp. All she could do was react as she turned her skull to snap aggressively at his face and muzzle. Her hooves slid in the mud but she was only pushed a few feet to her right thanks to the bit of traction she had gained from the shove. Each breath burned and it felt like she was swallowing glass. She could smell blood and could feel it bubbling from her left side and spilling down her body. Her fractured rib was irritated and swollen, and she knew the rest of her ribs had been severely bruised. Anger coursed through her veins but she said nothing, this was a battle and Nirvana was simply going for her weaknesses. Throughout this battle her sore hind hock had not gone forgotten, and she had a feeling she would have to work hard to protect it. She felt his eyes on her and soon he was coming at her again, but this time she was determined to evade him. Scrambling forward she was able to get her hooves beneath her and just barely make it out of the way, but she wasn't unscathed during this process. She felt the sting of her flesh tearing as his hind hooves sliced into her left flank, but her hind hock was safe so far. It was her turn to retaliate though! Turning she had only little time to plan and extending her pistons she closed the gap between them. While sliding toward the stud she simply hoped to slam her chest into his side, and her blood stained ivories reached out for the right side of his neck once again. This time she aimed for the sensitive skin under his jaw and close to his jugular, if she could reach it. She knew rearing was out of the question, so when she turned to retreat she leaned forward carefully allowing her hind legs to lift off the ground. Her right hind aimed for Nirvana's right hind hock and the precious tendons in his leg in hopes of maiming him somehow. When she landed her left hind protested instantly and she had no choice but to keep weight off it as she limped away. Her breaths came in ragged gasps and she could hardly see through the rain; every attack had been a complete shot in the dark, literally. But it was the best she could do with the circumstances. Skindred blinked rapidly a few times to try to clear her vision and she snorted once to rid her nasal passages of the blood and goo. She wasn't here for shits and giggles, this was very important for her. She wished she could have done better with her attacks, but it was all she had left at the moment. Her body was wearing down on her, it was just another fact that she wasn't invincible. She sighed once, hoping Terrivel Beleza would be proud of how far she had come. But the battle wasn't over yet, and she could only pray that she could pull through somehow. Name• Skindred Breed• Hanoverian Age• 7 years Gender• Mare Height• 17.2 hands Alliance• Dark Mental Health• 100% Physical Health• 43% Record• 3-1 Hits•oo1. Reached out with bared ivories to wrench and tear a piece of his neck and mane. oo2. Turned and kicked out at his left side, hoping to make contact with his ribcage or any other body part. oo3. Came at his right side and aimed to slam into him, also used his body to rear upward for a moment so she could aim her front daggers at his right shoulder blade and elbow in order to try to hinder his movement. oo4. Turned her head to snap at his face and muzzle aggressively. oo5. Slid on the water and basically used her momentum to collide with him. She then aimed to rip a piece of the sensitive flesh under his jaw right by the top of his jugular. oo6. While retreating she kicked out with her hind legs (mostly her right hind) at Nirvana's right hind hock and the tendons there in an effort to maim him. Dodges• oo1. Lurched forward in an attempt to avoid the full hit to her left hind hock. Injuries•Round oo1. Lacerations on her front pistons which have scabbed over. Bruised chest and ribs and missing a chunk of skin off of her mane/withers. Round oo2. Raw cheekbone, gaping neck wound by her jugular that bleeds occasionally, small incision on her neck that has scabbed over. Round oo3. Heavy chunk of mane ripped from her body that occasionally bleeds, wound on her ribs that has split open and multiple slash marks there that are bleeding, small gash on her already bruised chest that is bleeding. Round oo4. Bloody nose, fractured rib and sore side, multiple cuts on her left side and ribcage, bruised and swollen left hind hock and a small abrasion on her left cheek bone which is also bruised. oo1. Severely bruised ribs besides her fractured rib and the skin has split there and is bleeding. oo2. Laceration on her left flank. Tagged• fleabittengray with Nirvana Notes• I had to re-type this whole post because my phone deleted the first one D: Word count• 826 (Just the post not the codes) staff edit: image removed due to not having propper credits on the image. |
|
|
Life Is But A Dream...
Mad men define what mad is
|
he/she/they
|
15,044 posts
|
points
|
|
|
|
|
|
Moderator
|
Post by fleabittengray on Feb 11, 2014 11:24:28 GMT -7
Name- Nirvana Breed- Percheron x Shire x Frisian x American Saddlebred Age- 3 Gender- xy Height- 19 hh Alliance- Dark Health- 1 - bruised forelegs from deflecting switchblade's attack 2 - tear in his neck on the left about 4 inches long; mild bleeding 3 - left side of his face is bruised 4 - small chunk of skin removed from his right cheek; bleeding has stopped 5 - right side of his neck is heavily bruised making it painful to move his head 6 - bruised chest with a small laceration; bleeding has stopped 7 - chunk ripping out of the left side of his throat; mild bleeding 8 - skin pulled away from his left cheek; bleeding has stopped 9 - bruised stomach on left side 10 - bruised ribs on right side 11 - chunk taken out of the right side of his neck near jugular, heavy bleeding 12 - incision on the back of his right hock, moderate bleeding Mental: Depression and intermittent explosive disorder
Everything hurt. His body was being overworked and he knew it. Everyone involved in the tournament had only minutes to rest their bodies before being thrown into the next round. It was intense, and it probably would have been a good idea to train before entering into a tournament like this. Nirvana hadn't expected for it to last this long but he wasn't about to admit defeat. He had gotten far in the tournament, only the best were left. If he lost now... he could try again next time. If there was a next time. The real question was would anyone else be willing to do this again? He observed Skindred, wondering just how wounded and sore her body really was. Both of them were limping, her because of her hind leg and him because of his bruised forelimbs and chest. His heart was hammering in his chest and if it hadn't been raining be probably would have been covered in a thin layer of sweat. His legs were shaky and his mouth was dry. He would have to find some water after this battle. His nares flared with each heavy breath; getting kicked in the stomach hadn't helped with his ragged pants but at least he had gotten his breath back. He glared at the female, reluctantly thinking to himself that she was a worthy opponent. He tossed his head, wincing as the right side of his neck protested, but he did his best to ignore the pain as he silently looked over the mare.
His charged toward her left side had been a success. He smirked as he heard the ragged breath, chuckling to himself. He had wanted to make her topple over onto the ground but all he managed was to shove her a few feet to the right. He watched her trying to get her footing, feeling the adrenaline started to race through his body. For once, he didn't feel angry. He felt alive. There had been no struggle with his depression since he had gotten here and his anger at the world had fizzled out and become... what? Not happiness, he didn't feel happy, but it was a nice feeling. He was content and that rarely ever happened for the massive brute. Perhaps he should that Skindred for making him almost kind of happy... Nah. He may not be depressed and angry right now, but he still wasn't a nice guy. Nice guys finished last and all that jazz. Instead, he focused on his attacks. His second attack hadn't landed where he had wanted it too but she had received a nice wound to the flank and he would take that. That was a good thing. Doing as much damage to her already hurting leg was his plan. A horse without its legs was weak. And Nirvana enjoyed making others feel weak.
During Nirvana's thinking, he had taken his eyes off the mare just for a second and he paid for that. He tried to bolt forward before she could ram into his side, but it was no use. His hooves got stuck in the sand and when she finally crashed into his side he grunted, feeling the area bruise... and also feeling himself start to topple over. Scrambling, he rushed to get his limbs under himself again, splaying them out like a colt just learning how to walk. And then he felt the bite. Skindred had gripped onto a chunk of skin just millimeters away from his jugular. Momentarily panicking, the draft mix yanked his neck away. He felt the skin tear and blood instantly streamed down his neck and onto the ground. He managed to scamper forward a step before feeling the tip of one of her knives slice into his right hock. The blood started flowing, though not as harshly as his neck wound, but now three out of his four legs were bad.
Suddenly, he began to feel his anger again. His teeth bared and without thinking he charged forward, blindly running toward the mare. The pain in his limbs was excruciating, making him off balance, and he stumbled just a few feet away from her. Getting back up onto his feet, he continued his charge toward her right side. Slamming into her at this speed would hurt both at them, especially since his chest was already bruised, but he didn't care. When he could, he reached out for her withers and back, trying to bite along her spine before trying to grip onto her left flank. He was too enraged to think about what he was doing. All he wanted to do was hurt. Kill. He wanted to taste blood in his mouth. He wanted to bash her skull in. He wanted to leave her corpse in the middle of the arena to rot; a warning to others to leave him the hell alone. But all he could hope for now was that his attacks were good enough to make her feel excruciating pain.
tagged: @horsehuggr w/ skindred words: 844 notes: he has one loss already. good luck!
attacks: 1 - ran into her left side, hoping to knock her over with his chest 2 - kicked out with a hind leg to try and kick her left lower hind leg 3 - charged at her right side 4 - multiple bites to her withers and spine 5 - gripped onto her left flank
dodges: 1 - dodged her grab for his neck/mane 2 - bolted forward to get away from her second attack
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 11, 2014 11:50:34 GMT -7
Name• Skindred Breed• Hanoverian Age• 7 years Gender• Mare Height• 17.2 hands Alliance• Dark Mental Health• 100% Physical Health• 40% Record• 3-1 Hits•oo1. Reached out with bared ivories to wrench and tear a piece of his neck and mane. oo2. Turned and kicked out at his left side, hoping to make contact with his ribcage or any other body part. oo3. Came at his right side and aimed to slam into him, also used his body to rear upward for a moment so she could aim her front daggers at his right shoulder blade and elbow in order to try to hinder his movement. oo4. Turned her head to snap at his face and muzzle aggressively. oo5. Slid on the water and basically used her momentum to collide with him. She then aimed to rip a piece of the sensitive flesh under his jaw right by the top of his jugular. oo6. While retreating she kicked out with her hind legs (mostly her right hind) at Nirvana's right hind hock and the tendons there in an effort to maim him. Dodges• oo1. Lurched forward in an attempt to avoid the full hit to her left hind hock. oo2. Moved backward to avoid him gripping onto her flank. Injuries•Round oo1. Lacerations on her front pistons which have scabbed over. Bruised chest and ribs and missing a chunk of skin off of her mane/withers. Round oo2. Raw cheekbone, gaping neck wound by her jugular that bleeds occasionally, small incision on her neck that has scabbed over. Round oo3. Heavy chunk of mane ripped from her body that occasionally bleeds, wound on her ribs that has split open and multiple slash marks there that are bleeding, small gash on her already bruised chest that is bleeding. Round oo4. Bloody nose, fractured rib and sore side, multiple cuts on her left side and ribcage, bruised and swollen left hind hock and a small abrasion on her left cheek bone which is also bruised. oo1. Severely bruised ribs besides her fractured rib and the skin has split there and is bleeding. oo2. Laceration on her left flank. oo3. Multiple bruises and the skin has split and is bleeding on her right side. oo4. Piece of skin on her withers has been ripped and bleeding and there are multiple smaller bites on her back. oo5. Slash mark on her underbelly from moving backward to avoid Nirvana gripping onto her flank. Tagged• fleabittengray with Nirvana Notes• Good luck dear and thank you so much for the fight! Status• THIS CAN NOW BE JUDGED!
staff edit: image removed due to not having propper credits on the image. |
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2014 6:20:55 GMT -7
I will judge this.
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2014 7:40:31 GMT -7
@horsehuggr with Skindred Battle Form Completed Each Time: 10 Comments: all good. Health gets lowered each time and I enjoy seeing the % gives more feeling how the mare is truly hurt ! No Powerplaying/Godmodding: 9 Comments: First post: used aim, hope and all the words that makes you not know if the attack went through or not. Which is very good! Second post: "she turned her skull to snap aggressively at his face and muzzle" the only attack I found a bit powerplaying/godmodding. The rest was extremely good at saying hoping, aiming and all those good words needed in battle. 1000 Words Or Less: 10 Comments: First post 970, second post 833 (according to WE counter so all good) Correct Setting: 10 Comments: Scenery and past injuries were listed very well. Realistic Attacks: 10 Comments: Good and realistic attacks. Very well described and you could feel the power Skindred put into the attacks. Thought out attacks and did not feel rushed off. Made sense and easy to follow. Realistic Dodges: 10 Comments: Realistic dodges, 1 dodge from each post opponent made so not over doing dodges. Realistic Injuries: 9 Comments: Realistic injuries but in second post it could be described better the injuries her opponent was giving her that time. Former injuries VERY WELL described and used in both posts. Outstanding job there. Spelling/Grammar: 9 Comments: mild grammar and spelling errors Total Score: 77 fleabittengray with Nirvana Battle Form Completed Each Time: 10 Comments: it is fine. More injuries got added to health in each post (just a hint though, it looks better having a % when it comes to physical health so the opponent can also see where you are at) No Powerplaying/Godmodding: 8 Comments:First post: first attack was fine. Second "He then turned slightly and kicked out with a hind dagger at her lower hind left leg." not followed with anything that he wasn't sure if the attack had been a hit or no words that said he aimed to hit that leg. Second post: "he continued his charge toward her right side" no aiming or hoping to hit her right side. Second attack in this post was fine since the word trying was used. Last attack was also fine. 1000 Words Or Less: 10 Comments: First post - 586 Second post - 844 Correct Setting: 10 Comments: Setting was fine. Realistic Attacks: 8 Comments: First post: Out of the entire 586 words that post was 36 words were used to describe the attacks. ". He went for her left side, running right at her in hopes of pushing her over with his chest. He then turned slightly and kicked out with a hind dagger at her lower hind left leg. " Extremely rushed off, could have been described much better to get a more realistic feeling from the attacks. Second post: His attacks felt much weaker compared to his opponent. Rushed off and lacking all power when describing them. Making them less realistic then they could have been. Realistic Dodges: 8 Comments: Dodging 2 attacks out of 3 is not very realistic, also in the same post. The dodge part was all very confusing. Below you say attack one and two were dodged though in the post it looks like attack two hit him in the stomach and in three it says "he danced away". So dodged do not make sense. Realistic Injuries: 8,5 Comments:First post: can't say it was realistic since only one attack was a hit from his opponent and it felt rushed off described how it happened and almost no description of if it would effect him or not. Also former injuries were poorly described and felt rushed off as well. Reading the post it felt more like he had been in round 3 not round 5 of the tournament. Second post: Mention of the injuries that was given in the first post = good. Injuries more described in this post but description still feels week compared to opponent. Spelling/Grammar: 8 Comments: Weird sentences that was hard to follow. Few one word sentences that would have been better with , instead of one word in a sentence. "and he . growled to himself, " to much space and the . should not have been there. "hurt both at them" should have been "hurt both of them. " Total Score:70,5 Congrats HH with Skindred ! You are going to the next round.
|
|
Life Is But A Dream...
Mad men define what mad is
|
he/she/they
|
15,044 posts
|
points
|
|
|
|
|
|
Moderator
|
Post by fleabittengray on Feb 13, 2014 8:10:31 GMT -7
congrats hh! <3
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2014 8:18:13 GMT -7
Thank you deary! And great job! I was so nervous xD
|
|