[fleabittengray]

Name- Trinity / Allocen
Breed- Appendix Quarter Horse
Age- Nine Years, Nine Months
Gender- xx
Height- 15.2
Alliance- Light / Versai
Health- 100%

The night was cool, a slight breeze coming from the west as the sun began set, the desert sky turning different hues of pinks and oranges. Small, fluffy clouds moved across the sky at a slow, steady pace, pushed along by the breeze that danced across the desert, picking up the quarter horse's mane for a moment as she walked over the sand. Her hooves pressed deep into the golden grains beneath her, leaving imprints that trailed behind her like a veil. A tumbleweed bounced across her path but her steps did not falter. She was searching for the best place to stop and wait for her opponent, her enemy. Salem. A new Helkaer bastard she had to worry about, and one that had already gotten on her bad side. He'd stolen a herd member from her, one that had been a member of her herd for over a year now and had been there for the birth of her baby boy, Xovad. Dragonseeker, or Seek as she frequently shortened her name to, was a good mare. Trinity liked her and thought she was sweet, even if she did still hold an ounce of bitterness towards her for bringing her mate, Husky, into the herd without asking permission from her first. Being a Versai, the buckskin minx could never be too careful about who she brought into her home, especially since her son had still been quite young at the time, just a handful of months old. To this day, months later, Trinity still did not know much about Husky. Really all she knew about him was that he and Seek had gotten together very quickly, much too quickly for the Sister's taste, and he seemed to be quite skittish. His presence still made the nearly ten year old mare uneasy, but thus far he'd done nothing to bring her or the Versai any harm, so it was the least she could do to fight to get his mate back. No pressure or anything.

A larger cloud passed across the setting sun, shifting the shadows and, for a moment, making the desert a tad bit darker. Trinity shivered, chills racing down the contours of her spine as she thought about all of the different battles that had been fought here, this personally being her second fight here. Her first had been for the return of her son when he was barely a month old. A mare by the name of Aldopha had tried to steal him, but Trinity had been successful in her fight and brought him back home. He'd been so young at the time, Trinity would not be surprised if he didn't even remember being stolen. Briefly, she smiled, just a ghost of the expression, corners of her velvet lips turning up before another breeze turned her slight smile back into a frown. The breeze brought with it the stench of death, a reek that seemed to dwell here in these lands. She could not even fathom the amount of bodies that had laid here in the sun or beneath the moon, rotting and wasting away. She wondered how many equines had taken their last breaths here. Looking around at all of the scattered bones that lay strewn across the terrain, she knew it must be in the hundreds. Thousands, maybe. She was determined not to become one of them.

This fight was going to be unlike any others she had ever fought. For one thing, she knew that Salem was a Cambion. She had heard rumors of the new Cambion to join the ranks of the Helkaer and, Salem being the newest Brother to join the Brotherhood, it had not taken much to put two and two together. Cambion. The word alone sounded ominous, but it had only gotten worse she she discovered what they could do. They spread diseases, deadly diseases, and what with this being a battle that would no doubt shed blood, it put her at risk of contracting whatever disease it was that Salem carried. That's why she had gone to Utopia, seeking out an angel to perform a miracle to protect her from this disease. She had rushed to Eden the moment she had found out about Salem being a Cambion, crying out for one of the Utopians to come to her, and she had been greeted by a kind angel by the name of Lateralus who, thankfully, had been able to assist her. She would be protected for this battle... but that protection did not extend to Seek. Trinity could only hope and pray that Seek would not contract the disease and end up infecting her whole herd. She would have to quarantine the mare when she was returned home, unfortunately.

As the sun sank another inch below the horizon, Trinity finally came to a halt, drawing in a deep breath and looking around, black tendrils dancing between her hind limbs. Yes, this looked like the perfect spot. There were no bones to trip over; nothing but flat sand which, though it would be slippery footing, was easier to navigate than piles of bones. She could only hope that her feet would not fail her and send her tumbling to the earth, vulnerable and unprotected. She had various training exercises over sand, knowing full well that the battle grounds were a desert. Hopefully that would prepare her for this fight. If anything, maybe it would give her an advantage over Salem. He was new to the Helkaer. Maybe he hadn't had much of a chance to train in the Outlands. Utopia guide me, she prayed, lifting her head and swiveling her ears to listen for an approach. He could he anywhere... Keep me safe and strong.

"Speech Speech Speech"

Tag: A z z y
Comments: she is receiving a miracle here to not be affected by salem's cambion disease.
Terms: 3 hits, 1 dodge, 4 days to reply. Fighting for the return of Dragonseeker played by Wolf Heart
Hits:
1 -
2 -
3 -
Dodge:
1 -

[A z z y]

Name- Salem
Breed- Thoroughbred x Andalusian x Holstein x Shire x Arab x Nonius x Friesian x Percheron x Hanoverian
Age- Six
Gender- xy
Height- 18.1hh
Alliance- Dark/Helkaer
Health- 100%

let me feel my palms around your throat

Salem

let me feel the pain of lost control

His life had been one of relative simplicity. He was birthed from the great night mother, at the time, the queen of the hell fire, the most prestigious and revered temptress in all of wild equines. Artemisia was and still remains to be a formidable witch, her lack of title a mere formality, at least in the eyes of her son. It had been many months since he had been in her presence, both of their lives taking unexpected twists and turns, driving them perfectly to whatever moment they currently resided within. His upbringing was an interesting one. Raised solely by his father, The Surgeon, he had lived in the tunnels beneath the asylum, venturing out only at night to feed beneath the light of the moon. He had scaled the islands alongside his father, the sparring lessons he received were taken place in the most fascinating locations. The Surgeon was a seasoned fighter, he had conquered many and lost a handful and was keen to pass such knowledge on to his son. The slopes of the rolling mountains, the mouth of a cave, the great hall of the asylum, the beach amidst a tempest. Salem had become an image such as his father was, yet where he had eyes of the brightest rubies, Salem had pools of liquid tar, bubbling, black abyss that swallowed and consumed all those he dared to cast his gaze upon.

He had chosen his target well enough. A simple mare that was of no importance to him. Yet he had successfully gained the attention of Seek's leader. Salem was fully aware of the tax the harlot had implemented upon his father, and that was but a mere irritation to him. Oh no, he had simply wanted to draw their attention away from the monotonous of their lives, focus their blinded vision onto the brotherhood once more, remind them of exactly who they were. Salem would not be a member who sat pretty, resting on their laurels, oh no. He would reinvent the meaning of chaos. Idly, the black beast made his way gracefully to the battle grounds. Amidst the cologne of the reaper, his nares incarcerated Trinity's perfume, it was sickly, the velvet veneer of his mandibles wrinkled in disdain, but aside from that, his handsome facade remained stoic, emotionless almost. His knives met ochre granules, the jagged ivory memories of the land protruded from the contours of the land, their shadows elongated as the sun delved into the horizon, the sky illuminated with pastels of every hue. Salem moved onward, taking his time, allowing the shadows to stretch, allowing darkness to take more of a hold.

His gargantuan frame soon breached the edge of the battle ground selected by his opponent. His lids shut briefly, drawing his chin to his chest, a silent thought to the black beast Diavolo and two paths of fire emitted from the groud, rushing around them, encircling them. It was a tight space he had given himself to work in, his larger size may make it difficult to navigate within the fiery perimeter, yet why play with fire if you're afraid of being burned. The two beasts were illuminated in crimson and gold, their hides warmed by the flames. Salem allowed himself a moment to survey the smaller being, an insidious brow arched above his abyssal pools as he inhaled, holding the breath within his bosom before releasing it easily. Something was shielding her, something was covering her, defending her from his disease. Perhaps she was due more credit than he initially gave her. Or perhaps, she was fearful, unready to accept her fate. mentally, he shrugged it off, allowing the roar and the crackle of the fire around them to fill the silence. Obsidian labium peeled back along his gums to reveal a shining set of pearly whites, a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. His body moved like that of a serpent, easy, fluid like, his body compacted, his nape drew to his bosom as he advanced at a controlled thrice beat, his lobes flat against his poll. He met her left side, his knives sliding into the dirt, dishevelling the loose sand on top to seek traction of the earth below. His mass rose onto hind pillars, folding his forelimbs against his chest as his onyx chassis met hers, his aim to land upon her, to knock her off balance. In the throes of his attack, he bared his fangs once more, a devilish grin creeping along his kissers as he aimed to bite down at the base of her nape. Blood filled his mouth, the impact of his teeth against the well muscled bitch could have split his lip, it could have broken a tooth, whatever damage he may have done to himself was blinded by the dull ache in his jaw from the impact alone.

Words: 813
Tag: fleabittengray
Comments: fire was not used as an attack, more of a mood setter.

Attack: 1/3

1- advanced in canter, reared up on her left side, aiming to brace his weight on hers, potentially knocking her off balance whilst biting down on her lower neck.

Dodges:

0/1

[fleabittengray]

Name- Trinity / Allocen
Breed- Appendix Quarter Horse
Age- Nine Years, Nine Months
Gender- xx
Height- 15.2
Alliance- Light / Versai
Health- 95%
1. Bite in the middle of her upper left neck, minor bleeding, area around the bite is bruised.

Steadily, the shadows increased around her, a chill coming down around her bodice. Her warm breath began to form small clouds in front of her nares and her toned frame began to shiver. She frowned, snorting and giving her head and neck a rough shake. She had forgotten just how cold the desert could get at night. Damn. Better keep moving, then. She let herself shiver again before her pillars began to move once more, carrying her buckskin figure slowly back and forth. She would walk a few strides to the left before turning around and heading back the other way the same amount of strides. Again and again she repeated this, keeping her muscles warmed up and ready for the impending battle. She knew the dangers of allowing herself to get too cold right before she would have to fight. She had to keep her body ready. A few minutes of pacing and she was starting to feel warm again and focused her attention once more on the surrounding area, listening for the approach of Salem, looking for any approaching figures that lingered in the shadows.

She spotted him quickly enough. He was a large brute, not easy to miss, though his ebonite hide made him blend in more with their surroundings. Had she known he was black as the night that surrounded them, she would have picked an earlier time to come to the battlefield. Oh, well. She would make due with what she had. There was nothing she could do to change it now. I didn't know how big he was. Even at this distance, she could tell that he towered over her by at least two hands. She swallowed nervously but didn't let it show on her face, not even as flames suddenly erupted around her, causing her to have to abruptly stop her pacing, head flinging up and back. She expelled a harsh snort as orange flames began to twist and dance just in front of her. How fancy. She collected herself, brown eyes blinking and adjusting to the new light around her. She had been prepared for darkness, not for sudden brightness from the fire, so even though she could hear the sound of Salem cantering towards her, her eyes had not adjusted quickly enough to see what side he was coming from.

Too late, she realized he was at her left side. She watched in slow motion as he reared and her eyes widened before she twisted herself to the left, her smaller bodice lifting up onto her hind legs to match his rear. It was sloppy and unbalanced, but it was all she could think to do in the heat of the moment. His teeth came upon the middle of her neck, ripping out bits of mane and flesh, causing the mare to grunt in pain as she tore her neck away and kicked out with her front legs at Salem's exposed underbelly. She was smaller than him, making it the easiest spot to attack at the time. She kicked with her left leg, then the right, then the left again, seeking to tear into his flesh with her hooves, before his weight leaning against her became too much and she began to wobble, unbalanced, and quickly came back down onto all fours.

Immediately after landing on her feet, she darted away, hopefully not leaving the Helkaer enough time for an attack. She could feel a bit of blood trickling down the left side of her neck and she shuddered, thankful for have Utopia's blessing. It was a relief to know that his disease would not spread to her during this. Thank you, Lateralus, she sent a silent prayer up to him, spinning around to face Salem again, tail whipping against her sides as she stretched her neck out and down, teeth bared and ears flat against her skull. About a foot behind her, the fire that encircled them roars and crackled, illuminating both equines and making their shadows dance. Come and get me, Salem.

"Speech Speech Speech"

Tag: A z z y
Comments: she is receiving a miracle here to not be affected by salem's cambion disease.
Terms: 3 hits, 1 dodge, 4 days to reply. Fighting for the return of Dragonseeker played by Wolf Heart
Hits:
1 - She reared up to meet Salem's rear. It was unbalanced, but she kicked out three times with her front feet at Salem's underbelly before coming back down on all fours and darting away.
2 -
3 -
Dodge:
1 -

[A z z y]

Name- Salem
Breed- Thoroughbred x Andalusian x Holstein x Shire x Arab x Nonius x Friesian x Percheron x Hanoverian
Age- Six
Gender- xy
Height- 18.1hh
Alliance- Dark/Helkaer
Health- 95% - lacerations received to pectorals and underbelly

let me feel my palms around your throat

Salem

let me feel the pain of lost control

It had been her blood, the chunk of flesh remained lodged between his molars, the hairs snagging on the enamels as he consumed the meat, swallowing the mouthful with ease, his pupils dilating as he did so. Alas, the clandestine euphoria of devouring a slither of his enemy blinded him. his mass lifted from hers, giving her ample time to retaliate. Her knives met him, several blows offered, all tore the epithelium that shrouded his muscles pectorals, that covered his sternum. Three crimson lines crossed and ripped, the skin tearing in ribbons, blood dribbling down his entity, pooling at his feet as his knives met the turf gingerly. Dull pain shot through his forelimbs and thudded in his chest in time with his pulse. A deviant leer crept along his labium, obsidian pools twisting onto her being with a devious intent. She had put space between them once her blows were delivered, a distance that she may take four strides in, he could manage in two. As soon as she made a break for it, he span on taught hind quarters, leaping after her with graceful yet deliberate intent. She halted, turning to face her opponent without realising the close proximity he was in. Salem leered, his lobes pinned to his poll, his hind limbs collected, changing leg before the muscles tensed, locking the joints as he sought the traction once more in the dirt beneath the sand, sliding toward her before finding his grip.

The obsidian east threw his forehand upwards, lower limbs taking the strain of his elephantine embodiment as it was now his turn to play punch bag. Drawing his nape into his chest, he regained balance, his forelimbs aiming for her face, her neck, her throat, anything that could harm her, anything that would leave her with a reminder of this battle. His height gave him an advantage, he could reach the areas most could not. Four stabs, left then right, right then left. The momentum of his blows sent him backwards, his knives grappling with the ochre sediment beneath him, his balance momentarily lost in the effort of his attack. Salem silently chided himself, imagining the disapproving look of his father at the rookie mistake. The flames continued to growl, spitting sparks into the ever darkening sky, illuminating his hide with a crimson glow, his own scarlet rivulets coursing freely down his inner arms, the pain masked by adrenaline, the blood in his veins turned to hot acid, spurring him on.

Salem fought the momentary loss of balance, his fore daggers meeting the earth once more with a thud. This time however, there was no need for a brisk chase - he was already upon her. In one quick, deciding moment, he launched. His velvet veneered mug peeled back over pearly incisors, baring them, aiming for her jugular. The attack was quick, the force of his mass colliding with her own may be enough to bruise and batter her throat, but that would be the least of her worries. Salem wanted to taste her, he wanted to watch the blood course down her being and soak the topography beneath her, he wanted to watch the life leave her eyes, the last breath shiver from her. He wanted the versai to know who he was, to know that this time, the helaker would not remain silent. The force of the blow masked the contact made, his teeth clattered together, yet his jowls were already bloodied and slivers of flesh remained between his teeth. Salem ignored the dull ache forming in his jaw from the attack, the thudding in his chest sang in perfect time with his hammering heart. He drew himself in once more like a serpent, taking a few lengthy strides backwards to put some distance between them. It was all to play for.

Words: ---
Tag: fleabittengray
Comments: fire was not used as an attack, more of a mood setter.

Attack: 3/3

1- advanced in canter, reared up on her left side, aiming to brace his weight on hers, potentially knocking her off balance whilst biting down on her lower neck.

2- gave chase as she turned to escape, reared up at her head on and aimed to cut at her face/head/neck

3 - once regaining balance from previous attack, he launched to bite her throat.

Dodges:

0/1

Damage taken:

1- three slices to his lower pectorals and sternum. they are deep and jagged. infection and temporary soreness could be an issue.

[fleabittengray]

Name- Trinity / Allocen
Breed- Appendix Quarter Horse
Age- Nine Years, Nine Months
Gender- xx
Height- 15.2
Alliance- Light / Versai
Health- 93%
1. Bite in the middle of her upper left neck, minor bleeding, area around the bite is bruised.
2. Cut above right eye from Salem's hoof, moderate bleeding.
3. Bruised left cheek from Salem's hoof

Her attack had landed and she could almost feel the way the razor edge of her daggers sliced into the thin skin of Salem's sternum. They were sizeable wounds. She hoped that they would scar, that the black brute's smooth pelt would be tarnished forever by her own doing. She wanted the Helkaer beast to have something to remember her by, just like she had left Respira with something to remember her by. In time, all of the Helkaer would know her name. Allocen of the Versai was fierce. She was deadly. She would not be pushed around and stolen from without consequences. Allocen was not a name that would be forgotten. Even after her death it would still be spoken, she would make sure of that. The Helkaer would forever know who she was and the residents of Wild Equines would speak of her either out of adoration and respect... or fear. And as she darted away from her enemy, him following close behind, she wondered if Salem would ever fear her. If he was afraid at all right now. She doubted it... but he did not yet know her. He would learn to fear her. They all would.

As she turned, she snorted and flung her head up and back again, much like she had done when the flames had suddenly appeared in front of her, because Salem was much closer than she had first thought. He was right in her face, giving her very little room to back away from him without running a risk of backing up right into the flames he had summoned. The buckskin pinned her ears at him, fearless and chaotic as he slid to a full stop just in front of her. She bared her teeth at him, like a wolf, and snapped her banner against her side. Behind her, the fire roared.

Salem lifted up onto his hind legs, rearing and towering tall above her, but the smaller minx did not bolt like a deer fleeing a predator. Instead, she stood steady, bracing herself for the attack, squealing in protest and trying to lift and move her head away from the attack. One hoof hit her just above her right eye, slicing open the thin skin, blood quickly seeping out of the wound. She had to blink quickly to clear her vision, head shaking even as another hoof hit her left cheek, bruising the area but thankfully doing no further damage. By the time the third and final hits came, he had backed up enough to give her enough room to maneuver her way around them, short huffs of air leaving her nares as she flung her body to the right and away from the attacks. She had planned on darting away again, but before she could he was lowering himself to his feet once more and then was launching himself at her. He aimed for her jugular and instinct quickly and easily came over her. She snarled, ducking her chin against her chest to protect the area, and charged away from him. She was quick, Salem's last attack missing completely. She could feel his teeth closing somewhere near her left shoulder, closing around only empty air.

She bounded forward another stride, blood dripping over her right eye still, before spinning to face him, her sides just barely coated in a thin sheen of sweat. She glared at the brute, sizing him up, before loping forward, closing the distance between them again. This time, she copied his attack, aiming for his jugular despite her smaller size. She kept her ears pinned as her teeth snapped at the area, wanting to get close and show she was not afraid to taste his blood. She did not care who he was, or what he was. He was a Helkaer, her enemy until the very end and even after. She wanted to prove that just because she was a Light, and Versai, did not mean that she was fearful or weak. One last snap of her teeth and then she was turning so that her back end face him, putting her weight on her forehand and kicking out with strong hind limbs, hoping to land a kick to his already wounded chest.

Her attacks over, she trotted forward, still wanting to keep some distance between them. She looked over her shoulder at him, vision blurred by blood, nares flared, adrenaline still pumping through her veins, but it was all over now. It was in Utopia's hands. Win or lose, this wouldn't be the last that Salem saw of her.

"Speech Speech Speech"

Tag: A z z y
Comments: she is receiving a miracle here to not be affected by salem's cambion disease.
Terms: 3 hits, 1 dodge, 4 days to reply. Fighting for the return of Dragonseeker played by Wolf Heart
Hits:
1 - She reared up to meet Salem's rear. It was unbalanced, but she kicked out three times with her front feet at Salem's underbelly before coming back down on all fours and darting away.
2 - Went for the jugular, copying Salem's final attack.
3 - Turned so her hind end was facing Salem, kicked out with her hind feet hoping to land a kick to the chest.
Dodge:
1 - Ducked her chin against her chest and managed to charge away from Salem's attack to her jugular, his attack not landing at all

[A z z y]

Name- Salem
Breed- Thoroughbred x Andalusian x Holstein x Shire x Arab x Nonius x Friesian x Percheron x Hanoverian
Age- Six
Gender- xy
Height- 18.1hh
Alliance- Dark/Helkaer
Health- 90% - lacerations received to pectorals and underbelly, deep cut to shoulder

let me feel my palms around your throat

Salem

let me feel the pain of lost control

The blows landed repeatedly, his knives sliced and thrashed at her skull, pummelling until his mass landed. He surged forwards then, his dentals aiming for her jugular, to tear the wind pipe from her throat, alas, the smaller witch darted, his enamels closing on the empty pace beside her fleeing entity. His mass reversed, putting some distance between them as she gathered herself, his lobes remaining focused on he entirely. She came at him again, this time her head low, her pearly whites glistening in the glow of the fire. Salem smirked, a deviant leer manipulated his kissers as she covered the ground between them, her shadow stretching into the abyss of the darkness drenched world. Salem shifted onto his hind limbs, jerking his skull heaven bound, her teeth gripping only the air beside him. The minx was quick, as his mass landed, she was shifting onto her forehand, the momentum of her weight shooting forward propelled a kick to his already wounded bosom. Thankfully, his manoeuvre away from her fangs had positioned him perfectly, the breadth of his well muscled shoulder took the hit, the skin ripped in a jagged crack, blood filled the void and trickled down his forearm. Salem allowed a small smirk to crease his labium, grunting as pain shot through his shoulder. He dropped his cranium dangerously low, his abyssal pools searching hers as he advanced towards her, illuminated by the embers of the flame. Slow, deliberate steps were taken towards her. Salmon pink tongue ran over his bloodied lips, his obsidian pits ablaze as he closed the gulf between them. A devilish leer cut his handsome physiognomy apart, pushing his gargantuan frame into hers as he slid along her, his enamels raking the hair of her spine, lashing his cords against her chest as he left a trail of his claret against her, peeling away and stepping over the flames, making his way into the darkness.

Words: ---
Tag: fleabittengray
Comments: fire was not used as an attack, more of a mood setter.

Attack: 3/3

1- advanced in canter, reared up on her left side, aiming to brace his weight on hers, potentially knocking her off balance whilst biting down on her lower neck.

2- gave chase as she turned to escape, reared up at her head on and aimed to cut at her face/head/neck

3 - once regaining balance from previous attack, he launched to bite her throat.

Dodges:

1/1

1 - reared up slightly and twisted away to avoid her attack to the jugular.

Damage taken:

1- three slices to his lower pectorals and sternum. they are deep and jagged. infection and temporary soreness could be an issue.

2- took the blow to the shoulder, jagged cut & bruising. will be temporarily lame for a week or so.



THIS CAN NOW BE JUDGED.

[aliyaah]

(repetitive comments between judges were not included).

Roleplayer & Character: fleabittengray with Trinity/Allocen
Quality over Quantity: 14
Comments:
- Everything looked good to me and it all seemed about the same with each post.
- I like how detail was included, but it wasn't overly wordy.
- There was a few spots that seemed to have "filler" information that was needed either due to it not really pertaining to the battle, or was explained more precisely in other sentences. The most noticeable one was nearly a full paragraph that wasn't needed at all. 
No God Modeling or Power Playing: 15
Comments:
- None to be seen
Realism of Attack: 15
Comments:
- All attacks seemed reasonable for a smaller mare. Nothing stuck out to me.
- The fight was realistic and easy to follow and picture it happening. The notes at the bottom fit well with the rest of the reply. As well as the reaction fit in with what one might do as a defense and continued attack. 
- Realistic enough.
Attack Compared to Opponent: 13.5
Comments:
- Attacks looked good, they both took their sizes into play so I see no problems.
- They did take into account the size difference between the opponents. Thought I felt as if some of Trinity's wounds should have been more emphasized due to Salem being larger with more weight behind them. It was good to see how she noticed moves of Salem and tried to use them on, adapting to her opponent and using his own attacks against him. It was well said that while smaller than him she had more agility.
- Would think she might be a bit more hindered in her movements because of the difference in force from their sizes.
Completion of the Form: 15
Comments:
- All forms where completed as required.
Spelling and Grammar: 13.5
Comments:
- Minor spelling and grammar errors, nothing too major just enough minor one to take away a point.
- There was a number of run one sentences, most could have been split up, easily re worded to make more sense. Saw a few words spelled incorrectly. The rest was easy to read and flowed well together. 

TOTAL: 86

Roleplayer & Character: A z z y with Salem
Quality over Quantity: 14
Comments:
- Good post with a lot of big words, which can make it hard for some people to understand because they get lost in them. But it is very good writing, just maybe toss a few simple words in the mix at times? (No points removed for this, just a comment).
- A vast majority of his replies dealt only with the battle at hand. There was a few spots that sentences seemed to be made more "complicated" then needed to be or filled to make longer.
- Well written
No God Modeling or Power Playing: 15
Comments:
- Did not see anything that needed to be addressed.
Realism of Attack: 15
Comments:
- All attacks seem great considering he was taller than she was.
- The attacks were realistic but hard to followed with the summery below. Some moves were written more complicate" than was necessary. His actions and reactions fit well the character and the setting. While most wounds were used in his reactions and later attacks it seemed that his size was only used as an advantage than a hinder at other points-his size while giving his attacks more strength it did not show that he may been slower, less agility when it was compared to his opponent. 
Attack Compared to Opponent: 14
Comments:
- Attacks seem realistic and met with his oppenents perfectly.
- Again his actions and reactions fit well with his opponents attacks and defense. It seemed though both physical and wounds were not addressed completely as some of Trinity's were. There was parts that went into his thoughts and feelings distracting to the battle at hand, yet his reactions we re not in anyone effected by such
Completion of the Form: 15
Comments:
- Everything looks good.
Spelling and Grammar: 13.5
Comments:
- Few minor errors, nothing major
- There was little spelling errors but a lot of run on sentences-some not even needed while others were obviously needing to be split. There was a number of paragraphs that left me glossing over due to the sheer mass of explanations that was too distracting over all. 

TOTAL: 86.5

The winner is Azzy with Salem.