[aliyaah]

Round 1

Hound (A z z y ) vs Vojorn (+ ebonite + )

What better place to have a battle, then just about right at the Colosseum itself? Immediately surrounding the massive structure, there are other smaller stone outbuildings, which have seen just as much wear and tear as the rest. This battle is taking place at just such a location in the early afternoon, when the tumultuous storm clouds have passed. Other clouds still obscure any chance of seeing the bright blue sky, but they do not hold any chance of rain. Winds are felt here, but are much more gentle than what some of the other gladiators are enduring. 

---

Please remember that this pst serves as the first post of the battle. It is taken as though both your characters are now present, and your following posts will begin the fighting (unlike regular battles where one equine enters and has to wait for the other to arrive). 

All battles are fought with the rules 3 attacks, 1 dodge, 3 days to reply. There will be no extensions given out, no exception. As these are meant to be shorter, quicker battles, the maximum word count is 800 words. 

Please ensure you utilize the battle for just like regular battles. 

A z z y , you were drawn to post first. You have 3 days from this point to make your first post. Let the battles begin!

[A z z y]

Hound

rip and tear until it is done

He needed this. He needed to feel the flesh of another between his teeth, to hear the wails of war and to taste the familiar tang of iron on his tongue. So long it had been since Hound had had the opportunity - no, the pleasure - of pulling another one apart. The previous winter had seen him weakened by sickness, closer to death than he would honestly ever wish to be. The disease had torn into his lungs, poisoning him, turning his immune system against itself; how he made it through it, he was not entirely sure. Arrogant and bullish he may be, but he was not suicidal nor foolish. Pushing himself beyond his physical limits may not serve him well so soon in the infancy of his arrival to these lands, especially given all that he had planned for it. With the notion of his morality settled in place at the back of his mind, the beast found himself studying the mare that had been allocated as his opponent. He was curious regarding her motivation behind entering such a hostile environment - personal gain, training or bragging rights, perhaps? Whilst bragging rights within these strange lands may prove to be useful, the behemoth had no desire for such an accolade that may be bestowed upon him in due course. Oh no, Hound just wanted a fight. Overall, victory was not in his sights as the decimation and destruction of his opponents would be more than enough for him. The skies overhead threatened rain, taunting the duo with possible technicalities. Yet none came. As the beast moved into the circle, a cynical brow arched as he made his way forwards, the chilled breeze doing little to deter his bloodlust.

She was a mixture of dirt and bone in colour, her eyes the same filthy mocha hue as the turf beneath their hooves. Her build and height were slighter than his own, but he was no fool to the potential within her. The potential within everybody, if they were brave enough to tap into it. With the two settled within the boundaries of the stone circle, Hound allowed a vicious smirk to curl his scarred lips. He was poised, since entering the arena. His atlas was held towards his pectorals, his muscles twitching, eager to begin, quivering with anticipation. His lobes were pulled tight against his poll. With one already severely damaged in a previous fray, he had learned quickly to keep them tucked away from snapping teeth. He knew he needed to think quickly, to give himself the best chance to stun her or knock her off course. Like a well-oiled machine, the stallion pushed his weight off his hind limbs, his mass shifting back in a slight rear before his haunches propelled him forwards. There was no moment in which he was airborne before he thundered across the short void between them, his long limbs devouring the distance in easily in three strides. As his blades met the earth below on the third stride, his haunches dipped beneath him as his forehand remained in place. With the momentum of the halt, Hound swung his hindquarters to the right, the force of the skidding stop pulling his shoulders with it in a brutal attempt to knock the slighter mare off balance at least. As his shoulders slowed, the weight of his atlas followed suit, his nape solid as it seemed to almost whip into her. Its target was her head in a bid to stun her.

The attack was quick, sharp and, with any luck, on target. The speed of it may have sacrificed some accuracy, that much he was aware of. There was the potential that she could have darted forwards or backwards, meaning that potentially, the dull thud he had felt was the exterior wall of the battle arena colliding into his bonier points and well-muscled embodiment. It ached almost instantly, but the behemoth was not so foolish as to stick around to find out if he had successfully landed any damage upon his opponent. Hound then endeavoured to extend his limbs in a brisk attempt to move his being out of harm's way as quickly as possible. He found himself eager for her retaliation and equally as eager to survey the damage he may have done to her before she sunk her pretty little teeth into him. This, after all, was only the beginning

Name: Hound
Breed: Andalusian x Dutch Warmblood x Trakhener x Peruvian Paso x AQH x Westphalian x Belgian Draft x Percheron x Kladruber
Age: 11
Gender: Stallion
Height: 21.3hh
Alliance: Dark
Health: 100%
Word Count 735
Attacks
1 - charged at Vojorn towards her side, skidded towards her and aimed to used the force of this to hopefully stun/knock her off balance.
2 -
3 -
Dodges:
1 -


+ ebonite +
"speech could be this colour"

[+ ebonite +]

First, she'd had a baby. Then, she'd been crowned lead of her home. As fate would have it, her next move was to participate in a gladiator tournament. Word had traveled and it had sounded like a fun thing to do. What better way to test her fighting skills? She was a fresh face and she needed to see how good she was. Besides, it would be great exercise, and if everything went right, she could bring fame and fortune to her herd. She couldn't see much downside to it. So, she'd thrown her name in the ring and went off to meet her opponent. Their battle would take place a little way off from the main Colosseum, in a smaller building that had seen better days. Some of the walls remained, but they were crumbling. The skies were cloudy, and she'd tasted rain in the air earlier, though the chance seemed to have passed. As far as terrain went, the walls meant they had a limited amount of space to maneuver, and the stone did not look stable. Fortunately, though, the ground seemed solid enough. Vojorn felt a smirk rising to her lips, excited at the prospect of proving herself.

Sizing up the opponent she'd be facing, her optimistic thoughts withered somewhat. Describing him as merely "tall" didn't feel adequate. He was massive, towering at least four hands above her. She didn't think she'd seen anyone so big. No matter. The bigger they are, the harder they fall, isn't that what they say? she thought to herself. She'd be faster than him and harder to hit. He, on the other hand, made quite the target. His lips were scarred and one of his ears was badly damaged. So, he'd either been in many fights before, or he'd been the victim of a brutal attack. Vojorn was inclined to think the former, given he was willingly participating in an event like this. However, she was given no more time to debate as the brute launched himself at her, his long strides carrying him easily in her direction.

Vojorn scrambled, trying to get out of his path. While she managed to pick the correct direction to lessen the damage, she did not avoid him completely. She moved left while he swung right, and part of his body collided with her. The force of it sent her sprawling back several steps toward the wall. She collided with that too, wheezing as she tried to catch her breath. It was lucky that the wall was there, she realized with a shudder. If it hadn't been, she might have fallen. Both sides throbbed with pain, though she knew it could have been much worse. She was going to have some sizeable bruises. She couldn't focus on that, though. He had finished his attack and now it was time to make her own move. She did not have anywhere near enough weight to throw him around like that, but her shorter size meant she could get at his underside. Well, in theory, anyway.

Not allowing herself any more time to wallow in the pain, she forced her legs to move, utilizing the adrenaline flooding her system. She stayed close to the wall, circling him, and trying not to wince. Now that she was up and moving though, she was less sure of her plan to attack his underside. In fact, she realized she was at the perfect height to attack his upper leg, right at the elbow. It would make movement painful, and it would be less risky than attacking him from the front. With this plan set in mind, she charged, aiming for that tender spot. As soon as she was close enough, she reached out, hopefully sinking her teeth into flesh rather than empty air. She waited for a few painstaking seconds, hoping to prolong and deepen the bite, and tear a sizeable gash - if she managed to land it. Then, she darted away, slinking along the wall, eager to see if her first attack had made its mark.


Name- Vojorn
Breed- Appaloosa x Andalusian x Arabian x Appendix Quarter Horse x Paint x Shire
Age- Seven
Gender- Female
Height- 17.1 hands
Alliance- Unallianced
Health-
Physically: 90%
Mentally: 100%

Injuries-
1. Hound's body collided with her left side. Moderate bruising.
2. Her right side collided with the wall from the impact of Hound's attack. Mild to moderate bruising.

Hits- 1/3
1. Aimed to bite Hound's elbow, hoping to tear a gash that would impair his movement somewhat.
2. --
3. --

Dodges- 0/1
1. --

count 677
notes let's goooo
timeline avitas is a few weeks old, after she's been made lead of dark woods
tag A z z y

"Speech"

[A z z y]

Hound

rip and tear until it is done

There was a sick satisfaction within the bastard as he moved off from his initial attack, the sound of her body audibly hitting the stone wall, the breath forced from her lungs in a discernible wheeze were symphonies to his achievements. Whilst the stone wall had prevented her from crashing down, the impact alone must have hurt enough. She seemed to take a moment to regain her composure, calculating her attack whilst surmising the damage he may have done. Hound studied her from the opposite side of the battleground, admiring her tenacity, her dedication to whatever cause she may be fighting for. She seemed to regather her thoughts, planning out her first attack as she looked to him, seeming to measure him up, working out where to land her first hit. Hound felt a devilish smirk curl his handsome yet scarred features, his hellish gaze sparkling in the gloom as he silently dared her, no, willed her to make her move.

Suddenly, she advanced at speed, heading towards his exposed side, the other tucked against the wall. A brow arched in her direction, Hound felt his body instinctively try to pull away from her, the muscles stiffening, his weight shifting slightly onto his hind pillars, ready to move from harm’s way. But he didn’t, not entirely at least. She closed the distance in several quick, consecutive strides, her nape extended, her teeth parted and eagerly seeking the tender flesh of his elbow. Hound found himself changing tact in an instant, initially, he had planned to evade the attack entirely, lifting his body on his haunches and risk exposing his underbelly. She would be slight enough to land attacks to his barrel if he allowed the opportunity. Yet the prospect of her tearing the tender flesh of his upper leg was not a venture he envisaged ending well.

In the final seconds of her attack, Hound dropped his forelimb slightly, her teeth now grappling easily at the flesh of his shoulder just inches from the area she had hoped to sever. She seemed to hang on to him, her teeth clenching together tightly until finally, she released him, leaving a sizeable gash along the muscle. The skin had been pulled in jagged ribbon, claret oozing from the wound and dripping down his leg. Hound looked to the wound, a dangerous leer curling his kissers as he surmised the damage before slowly locking his attention back onto her. She had kept herself against the wall, putting space between them so she could see the damage she had caused yet maintain an element of safety. His shoulder throbbed and ached, the blood seeming to have slowed slightly but the heat from the attack still burned through him.

Hound did not allow her the chance to admire her work for too long, for now, it was his turn to return the favour. Pushing himself from his haunches, once more he closed the distance, charging now towards her barrel with his nape low and jaws parted, mimicking her initial attack. When little more than a metre or so from Vojorn, he spun so that now he faced away from her. Dropping his atlas between his fetlocks, hot pain burned through his shoulder as he threw his hind limbs towards her. The movements were quick and consecutive, aiming to land the blows along her ribs and barrel. As one kick ended and his hind limbs met the floor, did they rise again to meet her, his mass backing into hers as closely as he could do without compromising the attack or himself entirely. She would be close enough to retaliate, should she choose to but he was all too aware that the wall she had chosen as safety now acted as more of a barrier, only allowing her limited escape routes. As his knives met the turf after the third potential blow, he pushed himself away from her once more, putting distance between them but this time skidding to a halt in the centre of the stone circle, spinning to face her, his hellish gaze two hot coals upon her. Hound had left himself entirely exposed now, a deliberate move, an open invitation to use her creativity.

Slicing his obsidian cords against his hocks in a similar fashion to that of an angered feline, he paced the diameter of the arena, slowly, deliberately, keeping himself moving in a bid to prevent his shoulder from stiffening up further. The sanguine fluids had mostly dried, leaving a red ribbon down his leg, a victory line for his opponent, a warning for him.

Name: Hound
Breed: Andalusian x Dutch Warmblood x Trakhener x Peruvian Paso x AQH x Westphalian x Belgian Draft x Percheron x Kladruber
Age: 11
Gender: Stallion
Height: 21.3hh
Alliance: Dark
Health: 85%
Word Count 746
Attacks
1 - charged at Vojorn towards her side, skidded towards her and aimed to used the force of this to hopefully stun/knock her off balance.
2 - charged towards her side, turned and kicked out several times with hind feet, aiming to hit her ribs/barrel and shoulder area.
3 -
Dodges:
1 -
Injuries:
1 - deep cut in shoulder over elbow from Vojorn's bite. Won't effect lower limb movement, but shoulder movement will decrease as the fight goes on.


+ ebonite +
"speech could be this colour"

[+ ebonite +]

Her sides throbbed with every step that she took as she circled the wall. However, she could taste blood in the back of her throat, which confirmed that her attack was successful on the massive stallion. Her bite had landed higher than she had intended, she noticed, the gash near his shoulder rather than his elbow. It was less likely to hinder his movements this way, but she was still pleased. It was her first hit in her first battle. It felt like a milestone. How many more fights would she have to endure now that she was leader? Well, that's why you're practicing, she mused to herself. She continued to circle along the wall, her steps on the slower side, not wanting to aggravate her injuries any more than necessary. Her gaze was pinned on the stallion, trying to gauge what his next move would be. She anticipated that it would be quick, just like his last one had been. She was not wrong.

He came for her again, his nape low and his teeth bared. In that split second, she realized what a mistake it was to slink so close to the wall. She was trapped. Foolish, she could hear her mother's voice in her head. Frantically, she tried to think of a way to avoid his teeth. However, when he was about a yard away from her, he spun around so his hind legs were facing her instead. Well, that's worse. She took the first blow to the ribs, his massive hooves driving the breath out of her with a huff. While she struggled to fill her lungs, the second hoof came. This time, she managed to drop to her knees, curling toward the floor. The tip of his hoof caught the top of her back on the way down. She avoided the third strike completely. Currently, with his back facing her, he was in prime position for an attack, since he couldn't see what she was going to do. However, given she was on her knees, there wasn't much she could do. She struggled to get back to her feet as he fled the other way, facing her once more.

Fuck. Whatever pain she'd had in her side was dwarfed by the agony in her ribs. She would not be surprised if he'd broken at least one of them. It hurt to breathe. She forced her mind to focus on her next move instead of the pain. He was making it rather easy for her, which made her suspicious. He'd taken up a space in the middle of their battlefield, open on all sides. His gaze followed her hungrily. Neither of them had spoken once during the fight. Her mother had warned against chatter. It wouldn't do any good except serve as a distraction. Vojorn doubted her opponent would fall for something that simple. All that was left was to make her next move.

She'd gone for his elbow before this. She could try to exploit that same wound and make it worse or tear an identical one into his other front leg. Alternatively, she could also just go for his legs. They were a little lower of a target for her to reach for, but she could manage it. I'll go for one of the back ones, she decided, circling him. Each step was painful, but she made herself take them. She circled him twice, testing out her limits. So far, her limbs were unaffected by his attacks, which made movement easier. Unfortunately, everything else hurt.

When she was just enough to the side of him to avoid a back kick, she launched herself toward him. Pain shot through her entire body, and she struggled to shove it away. She reached out with her teeth, aiming to grab his back leg, right at the gaskin. Again, she held her position for several seconds to bite deeper into his flesh - if she'd managed to grab it. Then, almost on a whim, she backed off several steps, pivoted on her front legs, and aimed a vicious kick with both back feet to his underside, assuming he was still there to take it. The movement left Vojorn gasping, and she made a hasty, slightly uncoordinated retreat toward the wall, though this time, she kept a good foot of distance between herself and the wall - just in case. She turned to face him, her breath coming in pained gasps, hoping to see that she'd inflicted more damage.



Name- Vojorn
Breed- Appaloosa x Andalusian x Arabian x Appendix Quarter Horse x Paint x Shire
Age- Seven
Gender- Female
Height- 17.1 hands
Alliance- Unallianced
Health-
Physically: 75%
Mentally: 100%

Injuries-
1. Hound's body collided with her left side. Moderate bruising.
2. Her right side collided with the wall from the impact of Hound's attack. Mild to moderate bruising.
3. Hound's first strike struck her in the ribs. At least one cracked rib and severe bruising.
4. Hound's second strike scraped along the top of her back near her shoulder. A shallow two inch cut with mild bruising.
5. She dropped to her knees to avoid his third strike. Mild bruising.

Hits- 3/3
1. Aimed to bite Hound's elbow, hoping to tear a gash that would impair his movement somewhat.
2. Aimed to bite Hound's rear leg at the gaskin, hoping to make a wound to impair his movement.
3. Spun around and aimed a kick with both rear legs to his underside, hoping to cause bruising and/or damaged ribs.

Dodges- 0/1
1. --

count 748
timeline avitas is a few weeks old, after she's been made lead of dark woods
tag A z z y

"Speech"

[A z z y]

Hound

rip and tear until it is done

He had felt the contact land with each strike, although the third kick had missed her entirely, it successfully met the cold stone wall where he had believed her to be. In the shortest of moments, with his head tucked between his fetlocks, he caught sight of her dropping to her knees and tucking away to avoid the strike entirely. His hoof met the wall with a sickening thud, the rock splitting and tumbling from it's place as he moved from the attack. Pain shot through his left hind fetlock, picking it up slightly as he trotted away, a subtle limp in his stride. Clever girl. He turned then, standing within the centre of the arena, seeming to stare through her as he surveyed his works. A visible red ribbon was etched into her spinal area and pain seemed to crease her features every time she inhaled and exhaled. Two of three wasn't bad in his opinion, not for his first real fight since the winter. She circled him twice, keeping her attention plainly upon him, either sizing him up or testing out her own capabilities before she attacked, he could not discern. Hound remained motionless however, seemingly uninterested by her vulture like movements. A single lobe rose from it's grave, locking onto her in a bid to continuously detect her location. He had left himself open for this attack knowingly, wondering exactly how predictable, or perhaps clever, she could be. He would not expect the same kindness to be afforded to himself however, many would be foolish to do so. Yet, as he had always maintained, he wasn't here to win, just to maim.

She lunged then towards his back leg, her teeth bared, a heat seeking missile to the muscled area between his hock and stifle. With one leg already hindered in the front and a tender rear fetlock, he knew he could not afford to be incapacitated further when it came to his limbs. She had gone for what she could feasibly reach, what would not leave her too exposed to retaliation, but still with the hopes of injuring him further. Hound reacted quickly, his mass shooting forwards to avoid her snapping teeth entirely. Rippling waves of pain coursed through his shoulder and seeped into his upper leg, the dull ache only worsened by the force of his evasion. He could not discern her exact location from her attack, instinctively backing up to where she had been, his haunches tucked below him, the muscles bunched, ready to strike at her yet he had made a terrible error in his judgement. Instead of allowing himself the space and opportunity to deliver several more kicks in her direction, she was already upon him once more. Her hind limbs flew towards him, her hooves landing neatly upon his rib cage. There was an audible crack, two ribs giving way beneath the skin yet not enough to pierce it. Hound grunted, his lobes melting to his poll as his heated attention fell upon her with ire.

Hound moved forwards, albeit stiffly, pacing the diameter of the circle as she was now pinned between him and the exit. The stiffness in his fetlock was easing, his lower limbs almost sound, yet there was evident lameness from his shoulder. He inhaled steadily, as steadily as he could do whilst the pain rolled through his ribcage like a tidal wave. Every breath pained him, yet he was not done here, not yet. Hound turned from her, as if he was leaving the battle ground, as if he had lost. Yet as he reached the exit point, he turned to her once more, leaving her little time to truly relax before he was upon her. This time, he came at her head on, his nape lowered, his jaws parted. As he drew closer to her, his knives grappled with traction upon the earth, his mass shifting painfully upon his hind limbs as his jaws sought her throat, the most tender area between her lower jaw and oesophagus, aiming to bite down upon it, to rip it from her very neck. He snapped at it, trying to ascertain a grip whilst suspending his weight on tender joints, pain reverberating through his ribcage. His forelimbs rose and fell, aiming to bruise her chest area as he continued to attempt to end her. It was likely a futile attempt, pain hindered his steps now, but he had to try. In the last moment, he ducked away from her, moving back towards the exit, taking a moment to survey the damage for the last time...

Name: Hound
Breed: Andalusian x Dutch Warmblood x Trakhener x Peruvian Paso x AQH x Westphalian x Belgian Draft x Percheron x Kladruber
Age: 11
Gender: Stallion
Height: 21.3hh
Alliance: Dark
Health: 70%
Word Count 771
Attacks
1 - charged at Vojorn towards her side, skidded towards her and aimed to used the force of this to hopefully stun/knock her off balance.
2 - charged towards her side, turned and kicked out several times with hind feet, aiming to hit her ribs/barrel and shoulder area.
3 - charged this time at her front, rearing up slightly in an attempt to bite down on Vojorn's windpipe, his front legs aiming to bruise her chest with repeated blows at the same time.
Dodges:
1 - Avoided Vojorn's attack on his gaskin entirely by shooting forwards.
Injuries:
1 - deep cut in shoulder over elbow from Vojorn's bite. Won't effect lower limb movement, but shoulder movement will decrease as the fight goes on.
2 - stiffness in hind fetlock as third kick made contact with the stone wall where he assumed Vojorn was.
3 - Two ribs cracked from the kick, severe bruising along rib cage. Bruising will be considerably worse due to the previous impact against the wall/Vojorn in his first attack.


+ ebonite + excellent writing Ebon, GG <3
"speech could be this colour"

[+ ebonite +]

The sound of his ribs cracking filled the air and Vojorn could not help the pleasant smile that spread across her face. Her teeth may have failed to grasp flesh, but her hooves had succeeded. They had matching injuries now. She maintained that smile as Hound turned to face her, his eyes full of anger. Her attacks were now spent, so all that was left was to await his final move. She held her position, watching him with careful, calculating eyes. He paced the diameter of the circle, his movements stiff. Good. Her muscles were tense with anticipation, coiled like a spring, which didn't do any favors to the bruises covering most of her body. Her breathing was labored, coming in pained gasps from her damaged ribs and the exhaustion of the fight itself. And this was only the first round. There's still a long way to go. Still, despite the pain, she felt alive. She was enjoying this. The rush of adrenaline, having to calculate your next move, trying to figure out your opponent, and the pureness of it all. She did enjoy the intricacies of politics, but there was also a joy to this simplicity. There were no ulterior motives here. The objective was to fight and inflict injury. To win this round and advance to the next. Nothing more.

Hound veered away from her then, heading toward the exit. She quirked a brow in confusion. They were not done here. Her attacks couldn't have injured him that much, could they? Just as she was starting to ponder the possibility, he veered back, charging for her head-on. For a moment, Vojorn wondered if he was going to pull another feint and pivot. He did not. Instead, she was greeted with teeth grasping for her windpipe as approximately 21 hands of muscle ascended into a half-rear. She did not allow herself one more second of hesitation and jolted into action, springing narrowly out of his reach. The hooves he'd brought down to aim at her chest now hit near her hip, inflicting more bruises and scrapes, and knocking her slightly off-course. She stumbled a bit but stayed upright and continued to flee from him. The moment she had fled far enough, she halted and spun around to face him, wincing as she did so.

There were a few seconds of silence as the two stared at each other, Hound half-way to the exit, and Vojorn on the opposite end. Now that it was over, she felt a delayed rush of adrenaline as she realized what had almost happened. He could have killed me. The thought stunned her. Had that been his intention? Was that why he was here? Her eyes narrowed at him. She supposed there were some that would take this as an opportunity to kill another under the guise of a friendly competition. Personally, she would hold no grudges on the injuries she sustained here. Her brown eyes smoldered with defiance as she held his gaze. She couldn't deny that she was tempted to make some kind of snarky comment to tell him he had to do better than that. However, she held her tongue. She shouldn't waste her breath. Both of them had made their marks and that was what mattered. Vojorn broke the stare to take the few moments they had left to observe the injuries that she'd inflicted, regarding them with pride. Let judgment be upon them.


Name- Vojorn
Breed- Appaloosa x Andalusian x Arabian x Appendix Quarter Horse x Paint x Shire
Age- Seven
Gender- Female
Height- 17.1 hands
Alliance- Unallianced
Health-
Physically: 70%
Mentally: 100%

Injuries-
1. Hound's body collided with her left side. Moderate bruising.
2. Her right side collided with the wall from the impact of Hound's attack. Mild to moderate bruising.
3. Hound's first strike struck her in the ribs. At least one cracked rib and severe bruising.
4. Hound's second strike scraped along the top of her back near her shoulder. A shallow two inch cut with mild bruising.
5. She dropped to her knees to avoid his third strike. Mild bruising.
6. Hound's attack with hooves aimed for her chest hit near her hip instead. Caused three shallow cuts with mild bruising.

Hits- 3/3
1. Aimed to bite Hound's elbow, hoping to tear a gash that would impair his movement somewhat.
2. Aimed to bite Hound's rear leg at the gaskin, hoping to make a wound to impair his movement.
3. Spun around and aimed a kick with both rear legs to his underside, hoping to cause bruising and/or damaged ribs.

Dodges- 0/1
1. None used.

count 573
notes that was a blast, awesome job azzy <3 this can now be judged!
timeline avitas is a few weeks old, after she's been made lead of dark woods
tag A z z y

"Speech"

[ღ ∂ιѕαѕтєя ღ]

I will tally.
Waiting on judge collection: Yes
Judge 1 Collection: Waiting
Judge 2 Collection: Waiting
Tally-ing Scores: No

[ღ ∂ιѕαѕтєя ღ]

Roleplayer & Character: Azzy with Hound
Cohesiveness: 7.5
Comments:
- “The disease had torn into his lungs, poisoning him, turning his immune system against itself; how he made it through, he was not entirely sure” How he made should be how he had made.
- “He was poised, since entering the arena”. This sentence feels incomplete and broken. It would be more correct to state something like “He had been poised since he had entered the arena”.
- There were quite a few examples of run-on sentences, where I feel like the thoughts could have been separated in order to improve the flow of the read. “A brow arched in her direction, Hound felt his body instinctively try to pull away from her, the muscles stiffening, his weight shifting slightly onto his hind pillars, ready to move from harm’s way.” Here, for example, there’s a lot of ideas going on that could have been split up, particularly considering the sentence already stated that he was instinctively trying to pull away from her, and then repeats that it is ready to move from harm’s way. Another example is “As his knives met the turf after the third potential blow, he pushed himself away from her once more, putting distance between them but this time skidding to a halt in the centre of the stone circle, spinning to face her, his hellish gaze two hot coals upon her”. Once more, this could be written in a way that separates these ideas and doesn’t make it feel so prolonged. “As his knives met the turf after the third potential blow, he pushed himself away from her once more. Putting distance between them, he skidded to a halt in the centre of the stone circle and spun to face her, his hellish gaze two hot coals upon her”.
- “The skin had been pulled in jagged ribbon” should be “a jagged ribbon”.
- “He had felt the contact land with each strike, although the third kick had missed her entirely, it successfully met the cold stone wall where he had believed her to be. “ Should be “and although”.
- There were some spelling and grammar issues. In example:
"A single lobe rose from it's grave" - "It's" means "it is", for possession the proper word is "its".
"the rock splitting and tumbling from it's place" - its vs it's again
- Quite a few run-on sentences that made it difficult to follow along. They disrupted the flow of the post in the sense that there was just too much information going on in one sentence. I had to reread quite a few sentences to remember what the start of the sentence even was or figure out where it was going. In example:
"There was a sick satisfaction within the bastard as he moved off from his initial attack, the sound of her body audibly hitting the stone wall, the breath forced from her lungs in a discernible wheeze were symphonies to his achievements." - There is an obvious end to a first sentence, but a comma is used instead. It's a bit distracting as the thought is complete, yet is run into another one.
"Hound found himself changing tact in an instant, initially, he had planned to evade the attack entirely, lifting his body on his haunches and risk exposing his underbelly." - This needs a period between instant & initially. This sentence reads like there's a missing comparison to what he planned initially as to what the new plan was, due to it all being one sentence.

Realism: 8.5
Comments:
- For Vojorn’s first attack, I don’t feel it was realistic that Hound was able to assess what she planned, change his mind as to how he planned on avoiding her, but then have the time to form the thoughts as to what would happen if he did this and the results of it… And then make a different decision.
- Really appreciate you addressing his injuries in his subsequent attacks.
- Also appreciate the thought of him keeping himself moving so as not to stiffen up.
- An injury that hasn’t had pressure placed on it, in a position on the body that has been in constant motion since the wound was opened, likely would not have stopped bleeding within the span of a mere minute or two.
- LOVE you taking into account his injury from hitting the wall.
- Just watch how far ahead you are writing in each post after each attack. In the one post he moves to the centre of the ring just fine, but in the next, his movement there is hindered because of the injury he received. Be cautious of back-tracking.
- One of the attacks doesn't seem like it would work with just how massive Hound is. He's seven and a quarter feet tall at the shoulder, which is absolutely huge (he could not stand inside my house) and he'd weigh probably over a tonne. For the second attack, Hound charges towards Vojorn and with only a meter of distance, spins around and kicks at her three times. That seems like much too short of distance for a horse the size of a truck to stop smoothly and then turn completely around and throw out multiple kicks. The momentum wouldn't allow that to happen. A much smaller horse could accomplish this feat, but not one as massive as Hound.
"Pushing himself from his haunches, once more he closed the distance, charging now towards her barrel with his nape low and jaws parted, mimicking her initial attack. When little more than a metre or so from Vojorn, he spun so that now he faced away from her. Dropping his atlas between his fetlocks, hot pain burned through his shoulder as he threw his hind limbs towards her."


Movement: 10
Comments: Attacks felt reasonable.

Completion of the Form: 10
Comments: -Completed appropriately.
- Always completed with updated health.

TOTAL: 36






Roleplayer & Character: Ebon with Vojorn
Cohesiveness: 9.5
Comments: - Nothing stood out as an error.
- There's a few times in the second post where sentences are all started with pronouns or the same word in a row. It makes things read as choppy, especially when the rest of the post is not like that. Examples:
"It was less likely to hinder his movements this way, but she was still pleased. It was her first hit in her first battle. It felt like a milestone."
"She continued to circle along the wall, her steps on the slower side, not wanting to aggravate her injuries any more than necessary. Her gaze was pinned on the stallion, trying to gauge what his next move would be. She anticipated that it would be quick, just like his last one had been. She was not wrong."
"She forced her mind to focus on her next move instead of the pain. He was making it rather easy for her, which made her suspicious. He'd taken up a space in the middle of their battlefield, open on all sides. His gaze followed her hungrily."

Realism: 10
Comments:
- I appreciate the brevity in this writing, that she addresses she does not have long between attacks to truly think about too much, or to over-assess the situation.
- Everything was realistic.

Movement: 10
Comments: - Attacks felt reasonable.
- Vojorn's attacks were good and kept in mind the size difference between them.

Completion of the Form: 10
Comments: Completed appropriately.
- Always completed with updated health.


TOTAL: 39.5

The winner of this round is Vojorn

Gladiators, please prepare yourself for the second round of battling.