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Post by fleabittengray on Sept 11, 2023 9:30:45 GMT -7
x DECAY Since tracking down Hound and recovering from the injuries he has sustained during that fight, Decay had not spent much time outside of Dark Woods. He was fully recovered, with a few more scars scattered across his pelt, but... he'd stayed home more often than not. He had not been sought out by Avinash again, but he assumed things had worked out for the better if his skills had not been further needed... He knew he should probably make a trip to the Woods to go check up on the King and confirm that the situation had been dealt with but, well, Decay had never really been the best at socializing, and a trip like that would be a purely social visit. Would require a lot of talking. Small talk, even, which he was terrible at. His manners had improved since living in Wild Equines, even more so since coming to Dark Woods, which was drastically larger and more populated than The Haunted Battlefield had been, but... the bar was low. Like, on the ground low. He still snapped at others without meaning to and had a look on his face that made strangers (and even those that knew him) tend to avoid him at all costs. Not to mention the various brands he had, as well as the scars that were littered across him from head to tail. Standing in the sun, his muzzle lowered toward the grass as he lipped at the green blades, Decay's ears were constantly in motion on his head. He took his job very seriously as the General for Dark Woods. Their protection was important to him, and so far, he felt like he'd been nothing but a goddamn failure at it. Vojorn had been through hell, Leviticus was missing... What else were they as a herd going to have to go through before they were finally blessed? Couldn't those damn Utopians do something to help them? Sure, they had a guardian angel, but what use was a guardian if they weren't doing anything to guard them? Where had Leviticus gone? Fan had asked him to try and track her down, but he hadn't been able to find her trail - he'd had no starting point, other than Dark Woods, and once her scent had gotten to the Free Lands it had gotten more complicated, fading into a bunch of other scents. He believed she had ended up in Geysir, but from there, he'd lost her trail. It bugged him to no end, not being able to find the young girl. He feared for her safety. Maybe he should go back out today, go to Geysir and look for any sign of her... + ebonite + w/ Reth 448 | DecayLooking forward to threading them again <3 8 years 11 months, late summer, noon, while Leviticus is missing
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Post by + ebonite + on Sept 22, 2023 18:37:53 GMT -7
reth All her life, tragedies had occurred to her in threes. It had always been this way, for as long as she could remember. But this time was particularly cruel. She had thought life was looking up, for once. The herd was growing and safe. Vojorn had taken over and proven herself in the gladiator tournament, an accomplishment Reth knew she could never express proper pride for. And she had gotten Bull back. After years, he had come back and said he would never leave again. Lies. Perhaps she was a fool to believe him this time, but was it foolish to want to believe the best in others? And he had let her down, again. She would never associate with him again after this. She would turn him away if he tried for a third time. She was done with heartbreak. Perhaps it was time for her to admit defeat in the relationship department. Three times was quite enough for her. Five kids was enough. But she didn't know if she could convince herself of that. But even still, it was unlikely she'd be ready for anything for a long time. She may not show it as much as the others, but the trauma she'd suffered while captive to that cambion mare still showed. She was resilient, but she was not that resilient. The cracks were beginning to show. It was reassuring to know that the herd had continued on after their absence. She didn't know what she would have done if she'd returned home to an empty land. But still. Nothing was the same. Reth still patrolled as diligently as ever, but she was also more withdrawn than ever. Hard to tell, given that was usually her natural state, but she rarely spoke to anyone now, aside from Vojorn, and those were only necessary conversations. Vojorn had become angry and violent, lashing out and diving back into training. Reth had done the opposite. She had shut down. She spent most of her time sleeping or disassociating, trying to get through the days, hoping that when she woke up the next day, she would feel different. It hadn't happened. So, when she wandered toward a familiar face, it was a bit startling. She almost turned away and headed abruptly in the other direction, but her feet continued to move forward. Decay had been one of the ones to greet them as soon as they'd returned. She was glad to see that he was still around. She still remembered when he had lead his own herd and disasters had forced them to join Dark Woods. He had been a good member ever since, becoming one of their most effective trainers. "Decay," she managed to say as soon as he was within earshot, her voice raspy to her own ears. Beyond his name, though, she was not sure what to say. She knew that he'd been through hell as well, but she had no idea how to even begin talking about her own hell, much less delicately compare it to his own. "I'm glad you're here," she managed to say. Not even meaning particularly in this moment, but in general. She was glad he had stayed in the herd when he could have left it. tag fleabittengraytimeline 2 months or so after her return notes <33
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Post by fleabittengray on Oct 6, 2023 7:25:41 GMT -7
Decay But the blood on my hands scares me to death Maybe I'm waking up today Decay still wasn't sure what his purpose was. He wasn't sure if he was meant to stay in Dark Woods. He didn't know if he was just settling, or if he should move on. Even if he moved on, where would he go? Who would accept him as readily as Reth had, after his home had been his by a disastrous drought that made the land unlivable? She had accepted not only him, but his herd, though small, it had still meant a lot to him. Dark Woods was a much more livable place as well. He knew his herd preferred it here, rather than the Battlefield that had been swarmed by dust and lost souls. He continued to lip at the grass, but he wasn't really eating. He wasn't hungry, he just needed to try and get his thoughts in line so that he could... so that he could what? Looking for Leviticus seemed like the only proper line of action, but how was he going to find her? His social skills were severely lacking and finding her was probably going to depend on interviewing other equines, asking if they had seen her around. Her family was growing increasingly worried. Maybe he would take Crow with him later on today. He was always better at talking to others.
He picked up her scent before he heard or saw her approaching, but it was enough to have him slowly lifting his head, licking the traces of grass from his lips, brown eyes blinking and then focusing their attention on Reth as she approached him. Something about her approach seemed hesitant, or maybe that wasn't the proper word, but it seemed off. Not that he was one to bring that up in conversation. Anxiety was already prickling beneath his skin as she got closer, his body tense. Reth didn't scare him - no one did - but there was something that was just intimidating about her. She got him more tongue tied that others did. It was strange. He didn't understand it, why she made him a bit nervous.
"Decay," His ears twitched, noting the rasp in her voice. She said nothing else as she came up to him and Decay shifted his weight from hoof to hoof before, finally, slowly, greeting her as well. "Reth..." His greeting trailed off, staring at her awkwardly as he waited for her to say something else. What was he supposed to say to her? He hadn't been prepared for a conversation. "I'm glad you're here," Confusion played across his face but he tried to hold himself together, to not make himself sound like a dumbass. Why was she glad he was here? Was something happening, that he wasn't aware of?
"Thanks." The response was awkwardly blunt. A beat of silence passed and then he was clearing his throat, hooves shuffling slightly in the grass as he tried to think of something - anything - to say to Reth. "Soo..." Ah, yes. Smooth. Very smooth. Trying again, he added on, "It is very sunny today." Oh, dear. Clearly, he was not made for small talk. But he tried his best.
"Speech"
Decay / + ebonite + w/ Reth / 521 He's so painfully awkward 8 years 11 months, late summer, noon, while Leviticus is missing Horse stock by BlueBird-Stock Background by Lakela
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Post by + ebonite + on Nov 30, 2023 11:49:42 GMT -7
reth Reth still remembered the first time that she'd met Decay, years ago, back when she'd decided to go around and introduce herself to the rest of the Neutral mainland leaders. It was an out of character thing for her to do, but she'd done it, and it had resulted in a pregnancy to Xaohroa. What had been a one night stand had ended in him moving to Dark Woods to be with her, another move that had surprised her. Unfortunately, it hadn't ended well, with both Xaohroa and their daughter leaving with no explanation. She didn't know if he decided that the relationship wasn't working or if other nefarious things had happened to them, but months of searching had lead to nothing. She had just had to accept that he had left her and she would never know what had become of them. It was an old, old wound at this point, but the fragile state of her mind was causing all kinds of long buried emotions to rise to the surface. 'Reth...' Decay greeted her in return, though he said nothing further. The stallion had always been a little awkward and not the most sociable, but Reth had never minded that about him. She wasn't sociable herself. What social skills she had she had forced herself to learn through repetition more than anything. Being a herd leader had made that a necessity. 'Thanks,' he said to her in response. She gave a nod and a beat of silence passed. Silence that Reth didn't mind. Just being in the company of someone else was enough sometimes. 'Soo...' he said, trying to start a conversation. Reth wanted to tell him that it was alright, that they could just exist in silence if he wanted that too. She wasn't sure she was up for conversation either. 'It is very sunny today,' he said. Reth smiled at that. It was, for once. "It is," she agreed, casting her gaze up toward the sky, where the sun peaked through the tree branches. "We don't have to talk, if you don't want to," she said to him then, her tone gentle, not wanting in any way to offend him. "I've never minded silence. Sometimes just being in someone's company is enough," she continued. Her first mate had understood that, to an extent. Even with all of the bullshit he had put her through, Spike had understood her at least. They'd made a good team. He was the sociable one, the talkative one, the one who knew what to say. She learned a lot of how to conduct herself from him. And now he was gone and she was still here. I'm still here. She was still going, despite everything that had happened to her. tag fleabittengraytimeline 2 months or so after her return notes decay is so precious
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Post by fleabittengray on Dec 4, 2023 5:30:57 GMT -7
Decay But the blood on my hands scares me to death Maybe I'm waking up today He was not like your average brute. Or even just your average equine. His past traumas had aged him, broken him, but slowly over the years, the expert fighter had managed to piece himself together. Bit by fragile bit, Decay had made himself into a better man. He had done good deeds for the Neutral Kingdom, tracking down Hound for Avinash - even if leaving the battle behind, fleeing like a coward (in his eyes) still left a bitter feeling within him. He had trained Crow to lead the next generation of warriors, and hoped to gather more recruits eventually. The only thing he still had barely made any improvement on was being social. Talking was not his strong suit. He had never really talked much, to anyone, before coming to Wild Equines and though he had been here for several years now, the heavily scarred brute still felt awkward and out of place. He was glad he'd managed to escape the humans, glad he'd survived their sick game, but... could he ever truly heal from it? The insomnia and nightmares still plagued him, often times waking up (when he did manage to sleep) in a cold sweat with a scream stuck somewhere in his throat, never to be released.
He wondered if Reth would think of him any differently, if he ever found the words to even begin to explain his full story. He did not know if she really know his past. He didn't talk about it much, other than the time he'd snapped at Rascal because she wouldn't stop pestering him. She was a sweet kid, nice young girl, and she had not been afraid of his outburst. Instead, she had been understanding. It was more than he could have ever asked for or hoped for. She was a friend to him, despite Chester, her father, still not quite fully trusting him. He supposed that was just a father thing. Not that he would know. He didn't know his parents, and didn't have any kids of his own. He doubted he ever would.
At least Reth didn't judge him for his awkwardness when he spoke. She never did, judge him, that is. She never mocked him, didn't laugh at him. She... respected him, at least, that's what he hoped. They had a mutual respect. He admired her. "It is," She spoke with a smile on her lips, turning her face up toward the sky. The sunlight illuminated her, and even with her scars, she was... pretty. The thought took him aback and he looked away from her, feigning interesting in their surroundings - which weren't nearly as interesting as she was, let's be honest. We don't have to talk, if you don't want to, Had anyone else said that to him, he may have gotten embarrassed. Angry. But Reth's gentle tone just made him laugh, soft and awkward.
"Never did get the hang of conversation..." he grumbled, but there was a hint of humor there, in his tone. At least he had learned how to laugh, even just a little bit. "I've never minded silence. Sometimes just being in someone's company is enough," His withers twitched and, slowly, he turned his head back toward her. His gaze was thoughtful, his lips twitching into a hint of a smile. "I am glad to have your company." Did that sound stupid? Would it make sense to the mare? He felt stupid. He should have said something else, something smarter or cooler or just... not so pathetically lame.
"Speech"
Decay / + ebonite + w/ Reth / 586 My sweet boi 8 years 11 months, late summer, noon, while Leviticus is missing Horse stock by BlueBird-Stock Background by Lakela
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Post by + ebonite + on Dec 4, 2023 12:46:09 GMT -7
reth don't let me let the dark take over Reth had never asked Decay directly about his past, but she could make a few guesses based on the scars and brands on his pelt. Whatever he had gone through had been very difficult and it attributed to the way he acted now. She could certainly relate with everything that she had been through. She was curious about it, but she didn't want to dredge up any uncomfortable memories. She knew that if anyone asked about her captivity that she would likely shut down and not be able to speak at all. The last thing she wanted was to put him through something like that. Maybe one day she would find out, maybe not. Did it really matter, if she knew? She turned that thought in her mind for a bit, as the silence stretched on. Would it change her opinion of him? It would depend on what had happened, she supposed. There were some crimes that she could not forgive. She still remembered - years ago, now - when she had learned of Sempiternal's crimes and threats. Before she had learned of them, she had considered him a friend. After that, she had been disgusted and had yelled at him to do better. She had never seen him again. Her comment illicted a small laugh from him, which she was glad for. She didn't want to offend him, but she did want to let him know that conversation was not necessary with her. She was content to just stand and enjoy the sun on her pelt with him nearby. 'Never did get the hang of conversation...' he grumbled, though with a hint of humor. She turned to look at him with a smile and he turned to look at her at nearly the same moment. A stab of emotion went through her as their eyes met. Oh. He opened his mouth to speak again, 'I am glad to have your company.' He was smiling, just slightly, and Reth felt a bit dumbfounded at what to say in response. Instead of speaking right away, she shifted closer to him. She didn't move to touch him - she would let him do that. She had a feeling that physical contact might be difficult for him, given the scars and brands on his body. "If you're uncomfortable, let me know," she murmured, hoping that he wouldn't be, but she would respect if he was. This was not something she did often either. tag fleabittengray timeline 2 months or so after her return notes aaaaaa
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Post by fleabittengray on Dec 15, 2023 5:31:35 GMT -7
Decay But the blood on my hands scares me to death Maybe I'm waking up today When you were raised on violence and rage, when you were bathed in bloodshed - it changed you. You could never be entirely "normal" after being exposed to such a hostile environment. Day in and day out, Decay had been forced to fight for his right to survive. He had not asked to be born, or to be forced into the games for the human's sick enjoyment, but he had been born with an inherent need to survive in whatever way possible. Unfortunately, for him, that made him deadly. It made him a winner. It meant that every time he got tossed into that ring, he already knew he was going to win - because the only other option was death. Even now, he could still hear the cheers of the humans, see the panicked look in the eyes of the other horses when they realized he was the one they were up against. Even in their isolation, word had spread of Decay's capabilities. He was feared and hated, because to be put against him meant certain death. It was not easy, leaving that mindset behind. When the only thing you had ever been trained to do was kill... how did you learn to do anything else?
Yet here he was, standing with Reth, their eyes briefly meeting and his heart doing some funny little flutter in his chest. He blinked at her, with his awkward little smile, because even a smile still felt so unnatural to him. They were easier to form these days but he wondered if they would ever feel real. His eyes were still on her, watching her move a little closer to him. His instinct was to tense up, but instead of allowing his ears to pin back against his skull in warning, they swiveled slowly, tilting toward her with a quiet, soft little huff of air expelled from his nostrils. They were closer now - he could almost feel her warmth - but not touching. He was grateful for that. Decay did not always react well to touch. Even a gentle, soothing touch could trigger a memory and have him wild-eyed and crazed, ready to strike. He did not know how to change that. Or if he would ever be able to do something so simple as be touched without feeling like he had to hurt whoever was touching him.
"If you're uncomfortable, let me know," He watched her, his gaze lingering on her scars that were scattered across her grullo hide. He traced those scars with his eyes, wondering what stories hid behind them. He dared not ask, it would only lead to conversing about his own scars and brands. "I am comfortable, I assure you," he spoke quietly, in that gruff tone of his, but there was a kindness to it. He had learned how to add more than anger and hostility to his voice. Had learned to speak... not quite gently, but with enough empathy that he wasn't so frightening. Sometimes, anyway.
"Speech"
Decay / + ebonite + w/ Reth / 497 *smushes them together* 8 years 11 months, late summer, noon, while Leviticus is missing Horse stock by BlueBird-Stock Background by Lakela
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Post by + ebonite + on Jan 3, 2024 19:44:15 GMT -7
reth don't let me let the dark take over Reth had always felt comfortable around Decay, despite the mysterious past that he had. He'd never given her a reason to mistrust him. From the start he'd been honest and steadfast. He was odd, sure, but anyone who had been through what he had would be, even if she didn't know what it was. That didn't make him unworthy. From the moment he'd joined the herd, he'd brought value to it by becoming the General and helping train those who wanted to fight. Even after losing his own lands. She was grateful to him for that. Sometimes she wished that they had talked more, but given his discomfort with conversation, that was expected. Perhaps it was enough to just spend time in his company like this, in silence. She wanted to know more about him, but she would have to wait for him to open up about it. She would not push him. She was a private person herself, so she understood that. Maybe in time he would be able to talk about it or maybe he never would. Would it be a deal breaker, if he never did? She would have to think about that. 'I am comfortable, I assure you,' he said to her and she smiled, grateful that she wasn't crossing his boundaries. She never wanted to do that, despite her curiosity. But she also wanted to let him know, that if he ever did feel comfortable enough to talk, that she was willing to listen. Otherwise, they could just do this. "If you ever want to talk about anything, I'm here to listen," she said again. Communication was always key and now he knew. Now he could choose what he wanted to do with this information, if anything. She let the silence stretch on again, watching the sunlight dance among the trees. tag fleabittengray timeline 2 months or so after her return notes <33
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Post by fleabittengray on Jan 31, 2024 4:44:37 GMT -7
Decay But the blood on my hands scares me to death Maybe I'm waking up today He had a lot of respect for Reth. She had always been so kind to him, something that Decay did not think that he deserved. He had done his best to be an active, worthy member of Dark Woods and the Neutral Kingdom as a whole, but he wondered if he would ever truly feel like a part of it. Too often, he felt lost, like he didn't belong anywhere in this world despite the life he's built for himself here in Wild Equines and the friends he had managed to make. Realistically, Decay knew that he had changed throughout his time here in Wild Equines, but he still could not help but wonder what might happen if he just lost control of himself one day. He did not want to hurt Reth or Rascal or Crow or anyone else in Dark Woods. He just wanted to find a way to control himself when the times came where he felt so very psychotic. He was terrified that he was going to hurt someone, even if he didn't want to.
"If you ever want to talk about anything, I'm here to listen," Reth offered again, and Decay sighed heavily. He did not look at her, looking instead off to the right, gazing into nothingness as he debated how to respond. Decay wanted to explain himself to Reth, wanted her to know his past so that she could properly judge him. He was not a good guy. He had done terrible things. Slaughtered others just to survive. So many bodies lay on his conscious, slain by his doing. Not because he wanted to kill them all. But because he himself did not want to die. He frowned, looking down at the grass beneath his hooves. "I worry, Reth, that if I speak of what I have been through, you will not look at me the same ever again." It was a quiet admission, his frown deepening as his brow furrowed. "And I've no where else to go but here."
"Speech"
Decay / + ebonite + w/ Reth / 337 Sad boi 8 years 11 months, late summer, noon, while Leviticus is missing Horse stock by BlueBird-Stock Background by Lakela
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Post by + ebonite + on Feb 28, 2024 11:54:33 GMT -7
Naturally, she had wondered what had gone on in Decay's past and tried to figure it out by pieces together what little clues that she had to make the full picture. The brands and the scars were the two biggest ones, paired with Decay's own methods of communication and the way that he acted. He was gruff, awkward, blunt, and not the most courteous. Socializing was hard for him and he didn't seem to like small talk. That, combined with the scars and brands lead her to believe it was a traumatic past that lead to his behavior. Where had the scars and brands come from? The brands were likely by human hands. Reth had never met the creatures herself, but she had been around long enough and seen other equines with them to know that was the likely source. Brands were a special kind of scar, very intentional and very painful, akin to a burn, if she had to guess. The other scars could have come from anywhere, but it was likely from being attacked by other creatures. Were the brands and scars connected? There was no way for her to know unless he told her. Either way, they had had a lasting impact on him. At her question, he looked away and her heart plummeted, thinking that she had crossed a line and offended him. She waited painfully for him to walk away from her, but he did not. Eventually, his gaze dropped to the ground below. Her heart thudded in her chest. 'I worry, Reth, that if I speak of what I have been through, you will not look at me the same ever again,' he said, his voice quiet, 'and I've no where else to go but here.' She nodded. She could understand that. He was afraid of her judgment. And perhaps he was right to be. After all, her judgment of Sempiternal's crimes had driven him away from her. But even still, in her confrontation of Sempiternal, she had told him that if he wanted her forgiveness, he needed to change. He needed to prove that he was better than what he had done. He had not. He had just run away. Decay, on the other hand, had not. He had led a herd, protected those underneath him, and gotten them to a better home when his own was destroyed. And he continued to help, serving as her General and continuing to help her own herd. That counted for something, whatever he had done in his past. "Do you believe that people can change?" she asked him. She paused briefly to let him consider the question. "Despite what you have done in your past, you have proven yourself to be a good person, Decay. You led a herd, you protected others, you got them to shelter when they needed it, and you continue to help and protect this herd. That counts for something," she continued. She wanted to meet his eyes, so he could feel the extent of her belief in him, but that was only if he met her eyes in return. "It is your choice whether or not you tell me. But I think you have changed since then," she said. If he was truly as bad as he thought he was, she didn't think he would have done all of those things. He would have continued to collect scars instead. He wouldn't be here right now, afraid to tell her about his past. "I don't think you would be here, right now, if you were the same person," she gave him a small smile, hoping that he would see it. If he still didn't want to tell her, that was fine. It was his personal business and she would still continue to be his companion. profiletag fleabittengray timeline 2 months or so after her return notes -melts into puddle- "Speech"
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Post by fleabittengray on Mar 22, 2024 6:52:50 GMT -7
Decay But the blood on my hands scares me to death Maybe I'm waking up today He wanted to tell Reth everything. He could still remember everything. The only memory that was faint was that of his mother. He did not know her name. Could hardly remember her scent, or what she looked like. Had she wanted him? Had she wanted a different life for him? Was she even still alive? Decay didn't know. He would never know. He hoped to never encounter anyone from his past ever again. He knew that none he had faced in the arena would find him - they were dead, by his own doing - but those that had heard of him. The rumors that spread about him. He'd been called immortal. He'd been called a god. When in the arena, adrenaline surging through his veins, Decay had felt invincible. He could not allow himself to feel any other way. Doing so would only lead to his own death. He'd had to stay vigilant and violent. There was no other option if he wanted to survive.
"Do you believe that people can change?" Reth paused and Decay looked up at the sky, heaving a heavy sigh, though the tension did not leave his body. "If they want it enough, anyone can change. Or at least try to..." But his first instinct was still always to fight, to maim, to kill and destroy. He had slaughtered hundreds upon hundreds of equines, and some humans as well, all in the name of sport. Not because he enjoyed it, but because he had been so downright determined to survive. "Despite what you have done in your past, you have proven yourself to be a good person, Decay. You led a herd, you protected others, you got them to shelter when they needed it, and you continue to help and protect this herd. That counts for something," Guilt pooled within him and, hesitant, almost afraid, he turned his dark eyes upon his friend. "Does it?" he said through clenched teeth, unsure if she would still think the same things if she knew.
"It is your choice whether or not you tell me. But I think you have changed since then," Their eyes were meeting now, and Decay felt a tug at his heart, a pulling. He wanted to reach for her, to touch her, and to let her touch him and bring him comfort. Like friends do. "I don't think you would be here, right now, if you were the same person," Well, she was right about that. After his escape, once the adrenaline was out of his system, he'd realized he was free. He never had to go back to the human's cruel games. But now what, he'd wondered? He'd never been free before. He'd known only his stall, the trailer, the training pen, and the arena. Nothing else. No one else. But now he was here, with Reth, and she was smiling at him.
It was quiet, so very quiet, for a long while before Decay found it in himself to speak again. "I was not born in the wild. I was raised by humans. I have little to no memory of my mother. I don't know her name. Can't remember her scent or her face..." There was no sadness in his tone as he spoke of her. He'd not formed any connections with her, so why bother being sad over her. "They took me from her before I was even fully weaned. I never saw her again." His throat felt dry suddenly, and he squeezed his eyes shut as memories flooded him. He swayed slightly on his feet, shaking his head as if trying to shake away the phantom feeling of whips and chains against his skin.
"Speech"
Decay / + ebonite + w/ Reth / 614 sobs loudly 8 years 11 months, late summer, noon, while Leviticus is missing Horse stock by BlueBird-Stock Background by Lakela
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